Severely lost interest in things

mikeforjesus

I have always had the problem but its even worse I don't know if its because I am interested in religion more or because I want to have friends and help save people. I don't read the news. I can't even read the bible for long lest I dwell on it and bible bash people. I take an antidepressant but I am still stuck.
I feel like relieving my pain somehow.
I sometimes get movies but do not watch them. I really want to study hard and be a high achiever for once in my life. But I have lost interest in worldly things because of religion. But I know it is God's will to be successful in life. And this can glorify God. This is what honors my father. He is not too much into religion. Also religion is dull if there is nothing else to enjoy in life. I feel depression is the result of watching movies and seeking entertainment and pleasure. It kills brain chemicals. Rather watching movies to be more religious. Its an addiction to pleasure and lack of focus.But I can't stop myself from wanting to save others who may live holy lives because of me.
Maybe I have dysthmia
Because I can not handle the thought that I may not be saved and I have to please the church to be saved

Edit: I can't blame religion on this problem God says first to seek first the kingdom and the righteousness and there needs to be labourers
The only reason I would bible bash as I don't want to read it for myself and do it alone sometimes

socoolbishoy

my friend, look at your faults and let your faults be the judge of you!

mikeforjesus

Thanks friend :)
Thats why I feel service is not for me. I need to take the plank out of my eye before taking the speck out of others eyes. Servants pick on someone even unintentionally who they choose to be bad guys and make these "bad guys" blaspheme God and be even more rebellious. I went to a meeting in church just 2 weeks ago and a friend probably thought I was judging him as I would either look weirdly at him or I did not look at all and he left the meeting early. I don't know if church is for me then because of my psychological problems. People always think I am judging them. Just being a deacon and being behind people. People don't feel comfortable with me there and they leave. I took an anti anxiety medication zyprexa and this made me be able to stand behind someone as a deacon without appearing to judge them. People like me better outside church.
my worry is servants stop people from having careers and doing God's will rather than their own. I say this because whoever does not provide for his own is worse than an unbeliever
I appear judgemental to people because I do not have communication skills so maybe I should avoid church until I develop these skills so I can look at others without a dirty look

mabsoota

don't avoid church.
but if you feel it is too difficult or stressful to serve in church please discuss this with a priest or deacon.
you can go there to worship God, you don't have to always serve.
may God bless you.

CopticSonofGod

Here's the thing buddy, church will always be for you despite being in any condition! Church after all is God's home, not just a building full of service. We all serve the man upstairs at the end of the day. I highly recommend you strengthen your spirituality with God. Tell Him everything. When you have a thought you don't want, just redirect to God and push yourself to keep it out of your mind. This will help you develop a resistance to unwanted thoughts, judgements, etc. We all get thought, but it's what we do with them that is key. Give God all of your worries in prayer and see an abouna. Ask for their advice and seek wisdom from The Lord through prayer and passages. I know you said you don't feel into scripture but maybe find a psalm and focus on 1 verse that stands out to you, just 1. Recite it throughout your day and release your emotion to Christ. Remember that we can make problems the biggest thing in the world or completely irrelevant. If you focus on the fact you are trying to better your relationship with Christ you're in the right direction my friend! Remember buddy, YOU'RE NOT ALONE. What you experience to be hard we are all experiencing in different ways.  We all go through stuff, but at the end of the day we have to prove to God we love Him so much we must fight for His will. God bless you, protect you, and help you find what you are looking for.

mikeforjesus

thanks brother  :)