I have borderline personality disorder and im depressed practically all the time and im always hurting myself. i hate myself and cut myself a lot and have to deal with ideas of suicide every day
My dear Marina, which parish do you go to? You need to seek help immediately. I suggest you go the nearest hospital and speak to an ER nurse. And this is because we love you and wish you could seek help there. Call your therapist as well when you have these thoughts. I'm sure he/she already told you this.
Marina I'm glad that you are seeking help for this because God wants you to find Him somewhere! Marina you are the daughter of the most high God. You may not realize it or feel like it, but God has a great plan for you! Your life is not a waste, you are not a waste for God planned your life by the millimetre.
"But the very hairs of your head are all numbered.Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows"(Matthew 10:30-31).
Just want to tell you that I myself have struggled so much with depression and still am fighting it. What helps me is reminding myself that I'm not alone. Many others are struggling with this for the same reason I am. It's not abnormal it's something we have to learn from! In times of depression seek spiritual guidance from a spiritual father but always remember God created you for a purpose. You may not know right now but don't close the opportunity to find out with suicide. Remember Marina, God has blessed you with so many things: the air you breathe, the life you have, the death He died for you, the amazing never ending eternity with Him that He wants you there with Him. I don't know you personally, but I'm quite certain that He has given you so many blessings! He hasn't forgotten you and He won't! You are precious and one of a kind. He has never created anyone like you and He never ever will for the rest of eternity! There is so much in heaven waiting for you in the place where no worries exist, happiness is eternal, depression does not exist, sadness is gone and rewards for you are never going to end. It's going to be okay Marina! I can only feel what you do because I've been and still am in your shoes. Lets try and catch our thoughts as we think them and respond with how much God loves us. God won't leave us Marina! :)
I'll be praying for you and I hope you can just remember me in your prayers :)
Here's a great sermon that really helps me with this:
Just because someone has suicidal thoughts, they don't have to act on them. Many people who suffer with this (and the thoughts may not stop) learn to ignore the thoughts or deal with them in different ways.
This is not the time to tell someone "god loves you, you shouldn't think like this" because you will just make them feel worse and feel guilty for how they are now.
It is a battle, but you can, with the right help, deal with it. It will take time and energy, but one day you will hopefully be able to live your life and these problems would be less severe, or even resolve altogether! Stay strong
We aren't perfect and certainly have many faults. I pray you aren't burdened with too many expectations that you can never seem to be fulfilled in.
Mother of the True Light, the Theotokos, Saint Mary. I pray for Your intercession to our Lord Jesus Christ, that our dear sister Marina is guided by our Lord and led to a place where she can be herself in Him. Amen.
@mnc_hnn Your words are encouraging, and some people can handle hearing that God loves them others cannot, but that's probably true of all the advice that's offered on here. :)
Anytime someone says that they are thinking of this, it's really urgent to get help right away, because we don't know what state that person will be in, and support is so necessary and important. Sometimes it's so hard to fight our own selves, even when we know our self is not right.
@Marinalove can you update us on how you're feeling? Lots of people here are worried about you and want to be reassured that someone is looking after you.
May your patron saint, Saint Marina - but I'm choosing the ascetic - who went through some of the worst of the worst be with you and help you. We're all here for you in whatever way we can as well.
Hi Marina, I am a doctor. We see a lot of this and you are not alone. There is help and there are many alternatives to self harm. There is also medication that, if you persist, can have you feeling much better under the guidance of a medical professional.
Rather than seeing an ER nurse why don't you make an appointment to see a family doctor and ask to be referred to a psychologist & psychiatrist, they are great.
I would also recommend getting involved with a good youth group, sometimes being around people (who love you) can make you feel good about yourself. A good youth priest can also assist you.
I believe you are blessed with this battle, God gives the hardest battles to his strongest soldiers. Feel free to private message me.
I've seen a psychotherapist twice. My mom refuses to believe I am this way and I need this help so I haven't gone since. I'm not better...I'm still trying to deal with it all and I feel myself drifting further and further away from God and I don't even know what to do anymore
Maybe speak to your priest about it and ask him to give you advice. Maybe the priest could discuss this with your mom. I think it's important to continue with psychotherapy, even if it's just through an online course prescribed to you by your psychologist.
Maybe speak to your priest about it and ask him to give you advice. Maybe the priest could discuss this with your mom. I think it's important to continue with psychotherapy, even if it's just through an online course prescribed to you by your psychologist.
God bless.
+1
I don't know the exact situation with your mom or why she thinks you don't need a therapist. There is this stigma in Egyptians that seeing the psychologist means you're crazy, and your mother might have associated one with the other. She might mean well, but she seems to do so out of not understanding that this is not about being crazy, but about maintaining health. So, I strongly advise you see a priest who can try to help you in this situation and maybe have a discussion with your mother.
Comments
This is not the time to tell someone "god loves you, you shouldn't think like this" because you will just make them feel worse and feel guilty for how they are now.
It is a battle, but you can, with the right help, deal with it. It will take time and energy, but one day you will hopefully be able to live your life and these problems would be less severe, or even resolve altogether! Stay strong
Dear Marina,
We aren't perfect and certainly have many faults. I pray you aren't burdened with too many expectations that you can never seem to be fulfilled in.
Mother of the True Light, the Theotokos, Saint Mary. I pray for Your intercession to our Lord Jesus Christ, that our dear sister Marina is guided by our Lord and led to a place where she can be herself in Him. Amen.
Much love,
Joshua.