hello everyone.
I am not a Coptic but from Ethiopian Orthodox church. I red most of the discussions here and are very good and helping.
moving to my case i was just like any random young christian at age of 23 when i took my first confession. after that i started digging my faith deeply guided by ma spiritual father. I red so many books, visited so many churches and monasteries and tried to keep up the teachings of the bible. After sometime the desire of monasticism begun to emerge it was just a desire. My father told me to keep it easy and just keep on reading and trying to be good. I kept the thought for about 2 years struggling each and every thought and discussing it with my father (of confession). Its kept me fully convinced and after we settle every thing with my father He gave me the permission to go. I left my job prepare every material, wrote a letter to my family that am going to the monastery, i went to the monastery leaving everything behind and not looking back. the monastery i choose accepted me and i spent 2 years serving there. There were somethings struggling me there and i went to another monastery. After two months i was sick and was very difficult but the Grace of God kept me alive. the more weak i became the stonger i was. There i was in these state where happiness followed pain which was all indescribable. The people around me thought i gone mad and kept me isolated. Darkness, pain,... u name it. But the Hope of the Lord kept me alive after another additional month of pain and of course the help of the Lord i begun to find myself conscious and ask the abbot there to call to my family and to go home (which now i think was a mistake). They called and my family came and took me back home to the city where i got out with a lot preyer and difficulty.
Now I become healthy and fine again thanks to God and started working and supporting my family (mother and grand mother: but they also have my sisters and a brother to support them).
Even though, reading the life of St Anthony and other monks i still don't think i should be here in the city rather to be there in the monastery where the devil manage to kick me out. But many suggested that i should stay that its Gods will I came back, i should not make my family sad once again etc....what do u think i should do?
I need your suggestions and comments...and mainly your prayer.
Thank you for reading it and God bless!
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