Please pray for me...

LoVe_21

Hi, I am asking for your prayers.

I am overwhelmed by the amount of pressure and stress brought on to me by the congregation regarding my friendships within the Church. (I am not Egyptian)

They say wrong and bad things about me to her...she then becomes confused and distances herself from me. Which in return, results in me becoming very upset because I don't know what I have done..This is not the first time it has happened?

I am worn out. Tired of being accused of things I am not doing inside of this friendship.

To the point I am considering leaving the Church....

Please pray that God speaks to these peoples hearts and stop judging me without knowing who I am as a person first.

God be with you.

mabsoota

may God give you wisdom.

did you mention your worries to your confession father (assuming you are orthodox)?

Joshuaa

Hi Love_21

Sorry to hear that you are having a bit of a rough time at the moment. Friendship can be hard to keep, especially when others seek to destroy a good relation that we are trying to develop.

   Did you go to the church for the culture? Because a true christian doesn't believe in a culture as such, but the belief in humanity, which encompasses everyone and doesn't divide them. Once there is division then there is weakness, and one weakness I have found in church is gossip. It is not nice as you have found out and can be quite despairing.

 I pray that you stay strong in our Lord Jesus Christ and listen to His message and not let the stumbling block of gossip dissaude you of hope, for what they are doing is weak as assumptions cannot be stated as fact and you know that as well as I do. Be at peace as our Lord Jesus Christ says "Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.    There is alot of weakness in the the church but we have to forgive, it's the strong part of perfecting love.

    I'm in the same situation and I'm not going to give up. I'm the only one who goes to confession weekly. Our Grace the Bishop banned some people in the congregation until they repent and apoligize to our priest including our lead deacon ( which I'm worried about because I can't sing the long tunes at Christmas and Easter), So be at peace within your self and ignore as much as possible. Our lead deacon used to come in and do what he was supposed to do then he would go home, and I thought good, but then a few months ago he stayed behind and ate and talked with others of the congregation. I felt saddened by this and I wasn't going to say anything because it wasn't my business, but I wanted peace, so when he was banned, I went to the preist to find out where he lived so I could talk to him. The preist was too hurt and he asked me not to do anything, so I'm not. I sort of live in the now, if I'm surpossed to lift up a candle, that's exactly what I'm doing. I know I'm doing that and God knows I'm doing that and the rest is up to others imagination. I see myself as repesenting an angel and that's far far more important. It says in 1Thessaionians 4:11     that you also aspire to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you.      Working with your own hands means to keep yourself busy and not be idle, because when some people become idle they stray and no longer think of what they should be doing but concern themselves with what others are doing and that is why we need to be busy, because a busy person thinks of what they themselves do.

   Jesus Christ leaves His peace with you and so do I.  Idle gossip comes from the idle. Be brave sweetpea and I pray you overcome this differcult time in your life.

 

Joshuaa

You are there for Christ's salvation Love_21. His love for us is by far more important, more personal, and rewarding than any tribulations that you or I face. It is a perfect love, a Holy love. One that is unblemished by sin and those tribulations are sinful. Sin means to miss the goal, so stay with the church despite others that your goal of salvation remains intact and listen to the messages of the gospel and pray for those whom are fallen.

I pray to God that their hearts will be softened towards you.

One little bit of advice is not to respond quickly. When Pontius Plateau asked Jesus who He was, He didn't give an answer until the governor asked Him if He was king of the Jews..So if they don't know who you are you don't have to answer but by your conduct you show who you are.

God bless you thick over and comfort you.

LoVe_21

Hi Mabsoota,

Thank you for your reply.

I am Orthodox for 5 years now.

Yes I have spoken to my confession father. He is aware and very saddened by the treatment I am experiencing...

He has also asked me not to leave the Church. But to stay because I have been in the Church for while now and understand how the Egyptian people are. Which then I can help others who may join our Church to understand.

I will not leave....

LoVe_21

Hi Joshuaa,

No I didn't join the Church for the Culture. I actually joined because I loved the history of the Church.

The deepness of spirituality also. There are many aspects of the Coptic Orthodox Church that keep me there.

I don't usually pay attention to gossip. But it caught me off guard because it is put onto me by my friend's father a few times now.

For a long time I 've remained respectful, quiet, peaceful and loving towards him, regardless. But I thought it was time that I approached him...

to talk with him to get an insight of his views on me? To no avail.

Thank you for your prayers.

By the Grace of our Lord.... everything will be fine.

mabsoota

well done for being orthodox for 5 years before coming on the website!

many people try to learn things online in their early years and so get really confused, especially on other sites which are not so strictly moderated (so discussions go off on major tangents, usually led by people who are posting before taking their meds).

i certainly would have been confused if most of my knowledge came online, so please don't take us all too seriously, as most of us are just amateurs who make mistakes.

(i am only 3 years ahead of you, so definitely amateur!)

are you a potential marriage partner of this friend with mental health problems? from what i have seen of egyptians, it can take a few years after marriage for the spouse to be accepted (before marriage, they may just frown a lot), as they are just excessively worried about their children having marriage problems.

if not (e.g. same gender), then i don't know why they give you a hard time.

but, in my experience of friends and acquaintances, there is never only 1 person in a family with mental health problems; the others are simply not diagnosed yet.

so maybe this will help you to understand them.

maybe you could get to know people in the church better by doing some service, making tea or vacuuming the carpet after liturgy / lunch etc. 

i had some of my best conversations in the church kitchen with tasoni's friends.

maybe the same can happen to you?

may God guide you and give you patience.

God is very patient with me, so He will also be very patient with your friend's family

:)

Joshuaa

In times of when some feels threatened, the response can be fight or flight; they either resist or leave. I'm praying you are positive know what you're about and dispite someone else's meddling in your affairs, that you stay because you are there for God first of all and that you know these problems will always arise but you were brave and stuck it out, without fear.
I also pray you aren't too worn out and just to let those things pass you by and not to get caught up in what is in their imagination and just be conscious of what you do, like me. That's how I fight the devil, I do what I'm supposed to do and that's it and if I sense a power stuggle then I don't take it too heart and move on

God bless you Love

Joshuaa

What I mean by power struggle is complaints and criticism. Not to buy into it.

Joshuaa

Stay positive and not to let their worries that have turned to doubt let you have the same.

LoVe_21

Hi Mabsoota, I actually have known about Tasbeha.org for a long time... I just haven't participated in any discussion forums :)

I access this site for other means. God Bless you!

Yes I agree you can get confused by information that is found online .I have read a few things online about the Church sure. But going to the Church is a way better feeling and learning experience than reading articles online....

I also think that you shouldn't talk about whether someone has posted before taking his or her meds... this is a mockery. We should do our best not to speak harshly.

My friend and I are both females.. I have been told that her family are very strict with her going out so much (3 times per week is excessive) she is 33yo and has to be home before dark, has to call and tell them where we are, who we are with, what we are doing, why we are going there, how long will we be, the justifications are endless... For me, I feel it is too restrictive. But I still respect her and her family...even though it doesn't help..her father still keeps having a go at me. 

he knows we only go for coffee/lunch, beach (secluded of course and we are covered) shopping, gym. so all activities are innocent... we don't drink alcohol, or go to clubs, bars, casinos. Yet I still get in to trouble by him :(  

I spend 4-5 days per week at Mass, serve at the homeless run, prepare the monastery/nunnery for bishop's and nun's visits, I serve within the Church (even though I do not deserve).

Yes I have met many people who have become my friends through serving, this girl isn't my only friend. BUT I am her best friend. So I let it be.

But now she has decided (by family influence) to meet me only at Church.....no more social outings together. Which I have respected and agreed too not to make her life difficult.

Thank you for your kind words... I hope that I haven't spoken out of place to you.

Gbu and please pray for me.

:-/ :-S

LoVe_21

Yes Joshuaa

I was feeling threatened yes. But by the wise words of my confession father. I will continue going to Church and asking God to forgive these people for their treatment towards me...

please remember me in your prayer.

mabsoota

hi, sorry about the comment on taking meds; i was not trying to mock, but i actually saw people on other sites who would write really weird stuff and then it turned out they were not well, or they were drunk when posting etc.

what i meant was we shouldn't take websites too seriously as some ppl are just deliberately writing rubbish for 'fun', or they are actually having a psychotic episode and writing stuff they thought is true, but turned out to be just inside their heads.

on one other site a guy actually owned up to being drunk when posting religious stuff.

what i didn't mean is that if i disagree with what someone says, i will acuse him / her of being crazy. that would be harsh, i agree.