Really struggling

hiten33

Hi all. I want to preface this by saying that I'm sorry if I sound like I'm full of self pity or just complaining. The purpose of this is not that at all and I hope to not sound like that. Last thing I want to do is sound annoying. 

Anyway, I'm a young male who has been struggling as of late. I've really been struggling in school (my career graduate school) and I keep thinking to myself am I really in the right place. I want to think that God put me here for a purpose but it has gotten to the point where I feel like I really don't have a purpose here and that I'm making a mistake by pursuing this career path. I really love what I'm doing. That is not the problem, but rather the fact that I continually mess up and am not good at what I do. What if God did put me here and I made this career choice on my own based on free will and it was the wrong choice? 

On top of that, things have not been going well in my personal life. I feel that I am alone all the time and that I have superficial friends where I have fun with, but at the same time I feel that I have no one to go to. It is okay most of the time, but sometimes, like now, I feel like everything is imploding and that I really have no one to go to. It feels that I'm almost unnecessary. I know that is not true, but it's hard to mask these feelings. 

I try hard to follow Christ, but I am still a sinner. I've made some pretty big mistakes in my life that  I cannot go back on and I feel like this may be God punishing me. I really don't know. It seems like really nothing in my life is going right and I have nothing to look forward to ever. I don't know if this changes or if it'll pass but nothing I can do about it. I'm struggling to find peace with Christ. I want to. I really do, but I feel like I've gone too far and there's no going back. I know the Sunday school lesson and sermons, but I rationalize in my mind that I am actually the one case too far and there is no going back. 

It is difficult seeing people, my friends and classmates, live their life with no issues at all. The perform well, they have great relationships, no monetary issues, no issues whatsoever. I just don't know how to deal with this stress and everything. I hate to sound self pityful and again I truly apologize. I really wanted to get this off my chest, and pray that I figure my life out soon. Pray for me and I will of course pray for all of you. Thank you. 

basemwilliam

Dear Brother, I don't know you or your circumstances but I know that Christ loves you so much no matter what you have done, doing, or will do (past, present, or future) because His love is everlasting and transcends time. If you were the only soul on earth, He would come and die for you. Any other voice you hear is the voice of the enemy (liar and father of lies). In Christ, you are adopted into the Royal family and you can come with audacity, not out of your own righteousness, but in Christ name and approach the throne of God and call him "Father". Any tribulations you have are meant to bring you back to Him; tribulations mean that He didn't abandon you. Our Heavenly Father is merciful and will never try us beyond what we can take. May God give you grace, comfort, and wisdom. May he grant you forgiveness and keep you in His loving care. Please pray for me!

mabsoota

this is true.

these are the usual lies that the enemy tells us.

the stories of the saints are full of people like you who experienced great difficulties but went on to become great saints.

also in the Bible, look at the stories of david, rahab, mary magdalene and matthew the tax collector, all people who made big mistakes but who repented and were forgiven.

the key to forgiveness is to come to God in humility and ask Him to forgive you.

humility often hurts. it is embarassing to tell your friends (for example) 'actually i am a Christian and so i am going to stop going out with you late at night, getting drunk and trying to impress the ladies. i haven't been living like it, but i am making changes in my life'.

this sort of thing may loose you all your friends, but it is far better than loosing your eternal life.

another thing that many people find humiliating is going to confession and saying (for example) 'father, i have done all those things you warned me not to do. i have hung out with the people you warned me about. but now i have had enough. i am willing to loose my position and my friends, just please tell me how i can be saved, and i will do everything you advise even if it seems too harsh or it doesn't make sense'.

when the demons see this level of humility and repentance, they run away from you and then you will be blessed with the peace of Jesus.

please remember that every single Christian has sinned and felt helpless at some time.

God does not ask us 'why did you fall?', but 'why did you not turn away from your sin, come to me and ask for help?'

may God make this blessed celebration of Christmas a new start for you and for all of us who struggle in life.