Baptized or not

Frenchgirl

I am a French atheist girl college student 20 years old.My boyfriend is Copt who is college student here in Paris.He say that return to Egypt when finish the university(in Egypt live his parents and his family).He say me that must baptized Coptic but i dont believe in God.I have no problem with the peoople who say that are religious.I dont want lose him. He want to go and live with him in Egypt when we finished the university.What i must do?

minasoliman

This is a difficult situation. I don't think there's an easy answer to this.

First off, I do believe ideally you need to believe in what you are being baptized into. It makes no sense to me to be baptized for convenience of marriage.

Second of all, you're 20 years old. At 20, there should be no rush to marriage. Marriage is a serious commitment that you have to be very diligent in maintaining for life!

So dear sister, if you want to marry him, visit a Coptic Church (there are many in France) and make an effort to convert, not merely by baptism, but also by heart. Make no guarantees, but try your best to believe in Christ. If and when you both have children, they must also be baptized and raised in the Church. Do you accept that as well?

Frenchgirl

We dont want do marriage soon but he think that because i am his girlfriend must be Copt or member of Coptic church.But i am atheist(he dont know this) and i dont want baptized.I know that Coptic priests(and all Copts think that west europe life is "evil" and "demonic") and this is the reason who i dont want to speak with Coptic priest now.I want try it but i dont know how can help me this.And i want to live with my boyfriend here in France(the Egypt who live his family and who return when finish the university is not good for a liberal girl as me).

mabsoota

oh dear, i am sorry you got as far as being the girlfriend of a Christian guy before you were honest with each other about your religious beliefs.

you say you haven't told him you are an atheist, so you have not been honest with him, 

and it looks like he is not honest with himself as it looks like he is considering living with you (i assume you mean living like married people) but then returning to egypt as if he is a Christian single man as if nothing happened!

so whatever you believe about God, in your romantic relationships you can be hurt more if you are not honest with each other early on in the relationship.

it looks like this is what is happening here.

from your point of view, there are 2 issues.

1. does God exist? maybe go to church one day and ask some questions and check it out.

2. do you really want to get messed up with some confused guy that is all cool with you when he is away from his family and church, and then suddenly decides you are not good enough for him when it comes to marriage.

as an older woman to a younger woman, i advise you to run away from these kind of men!

they (non european religious men) are all cool, drink, swear, live a liberal life away from home, and get involved with european women who take them too seriously, and then 'suddenly' become all religious (i have seen it happen with muslims and hindus as well as Christians) when it comes to the stage of getting married. then the liberal european woman gets really hurt.

i am sorry a Christian guy is doing this. he should know better and should be more honest. Jesus lived a completely transparent life and put other people first and we Christians should do the same.

ophadece

Ekhrestos anesty
Very very well said dear @mabsoota..
Oujai khan ebshois

minasoliman

Dear Frenchgirl,

Mabsoota is right. You need to be honest in the relationship, and be careful with that boy.

In addition, if visiting a Coptic priest makes you worried about the stigma of being "evil" or "demonic", see another Orthodox priest. Although good Coptic priests are usually very welcoming to those who are interested in the faith, but if you're still worried about being unfairly judged, find any other Orthodox Christian priest who can answer your questions about faith.

Frenchgirl, we would love for you to be a Christian not because of your boyfriend, but because you want to and because you realize in yourself a spiritual hunger longing for something beyond your own human nature. Ideally, seek the guidance of a priest and see if that desire can be kindled in you.

God bless!