Problem of girls

sonofpeace

I am coptic. Because I thought a coptic would not marry me for my own reasons and because I stereotyped Coptic people and it is explained in a message of apology I want to send I did a very foolish action of pressuring a coptic girl I met at a church event to go on a date (I said it on Facebook after messaging her many days) or I will go on a date with someone else I was told I could be setup with and they are Catholic. I made it seem I was optimistic that they would marry me because I was not sure the coptic I was talking to really liked me and because of my views
I was going to say in the apology I wanted to date a catholic because of complicated reasons I can't explain now but because I thought I would be serving God even if I wouldn't be

Even my dad said I acted very stupid to her but I made him forgive me and understand me

I am making this post because we are still friends on Facebook because she said our friendship is important to her but she does not think she is suitable but if I send the apology I think she will block me. I just feel even if she finds someone she may reject them until they are able to heal my wound. That's the problem with girls. Marriage is not about finding someone who thinks you are perfect for anyone but just for them. And it is the joy of starting a family and bringing joy to God and to have a partner to help in your weaknesses. I feel I need to apologise because I never found anything wrong with her that needs to be permanent but I may be willing to accept that if she does not change she is perfect enough for me so I feel bad to give her wrong self esteem issues

It was the dumbest move that needed an explanation to say to a girl I am thinking to date someone else

This happened a long time ago but not too long ago

I have other things to say in the apology with my reasons why I think I may be able to try to get with her again if she is willing because it depends on God

Zoxsasi

Thank you for sharing this story.


Can you tell me in one sentence what the problem is??

sonofpeace

The problem is how can I know whether something I say will cause me to be blocked when dealing with girls in particular coptic girls ?

Joshuaa

Hello sonofpeace,

  Here is a some verses about maturity that concern man and how we seek to have Christ as the head (meaning making righteous discisions with His wisdom). As men we have responsibilites to all whom we love and if you were married, then you have a supporter and if you have a supporter, her language is encouragement and so you be careful otherwise she will keep a distance from you in her heart when it should be one.

     Ephesians 4: 13-15     till we all come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a perfect man, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ; 14 that we should no longer be children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, in the cunning craftiness of decietful plotting, 15 but, speaking the thruth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head -Christ-

  As it says in the verses, not to be tossed about to and fro and no longer be children and no longer decietful plotting, but speak in thruth in love and grow into Christ with Him as the head.

 I think from your post you may of played a jealous game with the coptic girl, and weren't been honest and that later in your heart the mistake came upon you. The question is: Is an apology enough? I don't think it is, but to be honest and be transparent and that you can only do this in repentance. For repentance is a correction in behavior. So repent for jealously for jealousy is about perfection and I know we would all like things to be perfect, but it doesn't work that way. It's in the processes that build up to make things perfect. What the coptic girl would appreciate most, maybe you been honest, which means open up your heart and not been scared to do so.

  One other thing that I hear quite often is when things happen or something depends on God, that we want something or that something bad happens, that it was God's will. To me it sounds like taking away of our own decision making and responsibilites away from us when really we should be using God's wisdom to be in line with God's will. There is this detachment from alining our free will with God's will when our own poor dicision making is at fault. It's like we expect to not strive and leave it to God for Him to sort it out. We are to strive using the very beatiful wisdom God has given our church which brings me to another point.

   sonofpeace, please go to abouna in confession, way better than handling the situation on facebook.

 

sonofpeace

Hi Joshuaa thankyou you make some good points. I will see my confession father. But about one thing you said they appreciate honesty I think they might but they don't show it they still block

Joshuaa

Glad to see you're going to see abouna.
But the problem is in the sin. If it's jealousy, then you have to look at the mistake so you are able to deal with it.
Jealousy is competition in othe words winner/loser. So you were frIends with the Coptic girl and beca me friends with Catholic girl weather she is real or not, but it made competition, so coptic girl was the loser and she blocked you.
Not to be surprised by her rejection of this behavior because it's fair enough, but you do have some choses to make and Facebook is a very differcult distance to sort things out. Unless you have met her face to face, then you might need to repent to her on the foolish action if you are serious with her. Any way, these things are a matter of the heart and abouna is the best to talk too, and your future especially with someone else needs to be at its best, with Christ at the head I pray.