Negativity is all I see

copticatheart

Insecurity is all around me. Shame is all I feel. Guilt is in my veins. Emptiness is all there is in my heart and mind.

All I see, feel, hear, breathe is lack of hope.
I dont exhort effort in anything anymore because of it.
Because I know it wont lead to anything.
I dont have god
I dont have myself
I dont have anything
not a future
not a purpose
not a single thing

And this feeling is all I know
Every day I feel this feeling and try to ignore it, but it only consumes me and I feel like I want to scream and cry to god, but then I shut up knowing god wont hear because I dont believe. Dont believe that I could change. Nor that he will change me.

Day by day I waste time. I think of God everyday wondering, wishing if I could ever be close to him every again, and I know the sunday school answer: I can. Believe, leave everything and follow him, trust, obey, love him, pray relentlessly. But I am too weak to do any of these. I dont have the strength nor the will power to reach out to him

I cant

Negativity.
Negativity is all I see

minasoliman

When you think you don't have God, that's when you have Him the most.  Don't despair, keep fighting, keep praying.  It's never easy.  These are your stormiest moments, but the patience you bear will bear fruit.

Don't stop praying.

mabsoota

please pray and we will pray for u. please also see your doctor as it sounds like u are very low and a trip to the doctor can often help

Joshuaa

Please copticatheart, we all fall, but when we use a negative inside voice, the devil takes the godliness away from us which is His goodness. Negativity is either not moving or going backwards, while positive thoughts or your inside voice is always moving forward. In the end the negative becomes a self for filling prophesy.
Wee take life for granted sometimes and our input into life becomes mundane because there is less reward for what we do.
I sure if I met you there would be some things in your life that you could praise.
Praise is so valuable to your soul and it is something you need to do as it says I'm good at something and I am blessed in some way and we need to recoqnise God's goodness in us.
You may have to choose to do something that is different than the routine in are in now.
I am sure you are good at something if you give it much thought.

God bless you copticatheart.

mikeforjesus

I think above advice is good. I will pray for you

Lovejoypeace_

Last year I wrote a poem about how I had doubted. It concluded with "You continued to hold me in Your loving arms, even when I doubted You."

I know it doesn't feel like it. I know you feel alone or forsaken. Sometimes it feels like God is an eternity away, and it is a dreadful feeling.

You say you have insecurities and feel shame. I implore you to remember that you are His. When He looks at you, he declares, "I have called you by name. You are mine." I struggle with looking at what the world thinks of me, and try to remind myself what God thinks of me. Whatever you feel insecure about, if superficial, try to remember that you are His. He created you, and He is enamored with His creation. If spiritual, try to recall that many heroes and heroines of the Bible had great spiritual weaknesses, and our Lord transformed them for His glory. He can also transform you.

I know it has been a while since you posted, and I truly hope you are feeling even a little better. You are in my prayers. God bless you always. <3