Marriage & later Conversions

MyrnaMar

Hi,
I have wondered about this, but, am not sure what the Coptic Church teaches about what happens to a person that has been married in the Coptic church and then either the husband or wife later converts to another Christian denomination.

Would the marriage automatically be considered annuled? invalid? What would happen with the husband or wife who has not converted.... Will he or she still be considered the spouse of the person who has converted?

Also, should the Coptic priest or church in which the person got married find out about the conversion what action would be taken?

Thanks and God bless

spr418

i think in this situation nothing happen as long as the wife and husbund are still together i don't think the priest have anything to do exept for sitting and talking with the person who converted!but it is theer life!no one can get in thier life unless it is an emrgency!!! 8)

egyguy00

if either the wife or the husband convert to another religion.. then the one who didnt convert is allowed to remarr6y... there is a verse in the Bible.. im not exactly sure of it ... it says taht if someone wants to depart .. let him depart... so it means if someone wants to leave the coptic religion let him leave .. it is his or her own decision...but his or her spouse is allowed to remarry nd divorce.... in the coptic religion we r allowed to divorce under only two circumstances.. if one changes religion or if their spouse comits adultery.. hope that answered ur question :)

MyrnaMar

Thanks for all of the responses....

egyguy00 I knew one could ask for divorce in cases of adultery... I didn't know that this could be so in cases of one spouse converting to another faith.

I ask this question because I have a cousin who is in a marriage that is loveless and his wife is very cold and rejects him in every way, even to the point of not fulfilling her duties as a wife... He has tried in the past 6 years of their marriage to try and make her change by going to their Abouna for advice and counseling, but, it is of no use, she refuses to change. Plus, he had some experiences with this Abouna that have made him fall away from the Coptic church.

Anyway, as often happens when a husband is rejected by the wife he seeks love with another person. My cousin has fallen in love with a woman from another Christian denomination and wants to divorce his wife so he can marry her. The wife knows this, but, is refusing to divorce him, even after he admitted having fallen in love with another woman to the Abouna.

The only solution he can find is to convert to the denomination of the woman he is in love with... I know some may say that the Coptic church is better off without him and in some ways I agree, but, in other ways I sympathize with him as I could not imagine spending the rest of my life in a loveless marriage.

Thanks again guys :)

Maryann23

I understand your point of view, and I too feel bad for him, but it is a cross he has to carry. God only gives us tribulations as much as we can handle. Of course a loveless marriage would be horrible, I would hate to ever be in that position, as would anyone else. But once vows were made, and they became one flesh none of them should have an affair.

The seventh of the Ten Commandments, which God spoke. "Thou shalt not commit adultery" Exodus 20:14. This has always been God's law. We are told in John 3:4, that sin is the transgression of God's law, therefore, to commit adultery is to transgress God's law, and therefore, sin. Not only has God forbidden adultery, but the son of God himself said, "Whoso looketh on a woman to lust after her, hath committed adultery with her already in his heart" Matthew 5:28. If the adulterous thought is sin, surely the adulterous act is sin. The Holy Spirit through the inspired apostle has told us plainly that adultery is a sin. Peter described some sinners of his day as having "eyes full of adultery, that cannot cease from sin" Peter 2:14. Paul warned the Corinthians to "flee fornication" Corinthians 6:18.

We are living in an age where sin is portrayed as a mere illness of the body or mind; when sin is denied or laughed off, when sin is rationalized as merely doing one's own thing, or doing what comes naturally. But a belief in the Holy God and respect for the authority of his word demands that adultery be recognized and acknowledged for what it is . . . sin.

If your cousin continues to endure the problems he is faced with in his marriage then he will be blessed in heaven, because truly it is a cross he had to carry; and God will not forget this. He will be rewarded in heaven. But if he commits adultery, then he has sinned against God, and the laws of the church. He should REALLY think twice before considering divorce and re marrying.

Christ4Life

Let me bring up two points here. If your cousin is the one that divorces, than he may not marry. In the coptic church, if a married couple divorces, the person that divorced is not allowed to marry once again, and the person that was divorced has the chance to try life again with another spouse. In the event that your cousin is the one that divorces, he is not allowed to marry again anyways. If he marries nonetheless, this is considered adultery, and he will have tresspassed one of the Ten Commandments. From what you say about his wife, I doubt she will divorce him. But why did your cousin marry this woman in the first place if she is so cruel?

Coptic-Irini

In the coptic church, if a married couple divorces, the person that divorced is not allowed to marry once again, and the person that was divorced has the chance to try life again with another spouse.

But I thought he wanted to convert to another christian denomination because of the woman he wants to marry?

I think that's the wrongest thing he can do. We are in the ONLY right religion, and if someone has to convert, they must convert to the Coptic Orthodox Church. I'm sorry, but I think it's stupid to leave our Church to go after a woman, and maybe he won't be happy after he marries her either.
BTW, what is so special about that other woman?? The devil is tempting your cousin, and God is testing him. Just like someone said before, his wife is a cross he has to carry. Probably the only reason he likes that other woman is because his own wife treats him badly, so it aint real love. It simply CAN'T be real love, because the Holy Spirit is not involved, and if he marries her the HS won't get involved either, because he'll marry her in another church. If it was a good thing to do, I mean marrying her, he would have married her in our Church.

But on the other hand, I don't know the whole situation, so I'm just telling my opinion here. Don't get cross with me, and may God guide your cousin and lead him safely through temptations.

GBU :)

mazza

[quote author=Maryann23_©oP† link=board=4;threadid=2320;start=0#msg35317 date=1124491237]
If your cousin continues to endure the problems he is faced with in his marriage then he will be blessed in heaven, because truly it is a cross he had to carry; and God will not forget this. He will be rewarded in heaven. But if he commits adultery, then he has sinned against God, and the laws of the church. He should REALLY think twice before considering divorce and re marrying.


so true!

Unknown

[quote author=MarMar91 link=board=4;threadid=2320;start=0#msg35232 date=1124398631]
No, u can't take Communion unless u r baptized and married in the Coptic Orthodox Church (take Communion in our church) or one of its sister churches, im pretty sure therers more, but im only posting what im sure of..


MarMar you don't need to be married to take communion in our church you need to be baptized and abouna must put on you holy oil or in arabic zeit el mauron

MyrnaMar

Maryann I understand your viewpoint and in some aspects agree, but, my cousins wife does not want to fulfill her role as a wife in any way... That includes being intimate with him.

I personally think that psycologically she is not normal.

My cousin has had 6 years of being with a wife who detests him, seeks every opportunity to tell him that he is nothing to her and because of the fact she refuses intimacy with him, they have no children.

The way my cousin has explained it to me... He fell in love with the other woman not through lusting for her in his heart, but, out of the fact that she is there for him emotionally and spiritually. Often they have gone to her church together.

So it is not a case of his having an adulterous fling and lusting towards this woman. He genuinely has love for her.

In this point of bearing a cross I can understand to a point... but, if she is not even fulfilling her part as a wife intimately and even with counseling from their Abouna... she refuses to change.

Christ4life He did not know she was this way during their one year engagement period. She pretended to be all sweet and nice and caring about him and a few months into the marriage that is when her true personality came out.

Coptic Irini My cousin told me that the reason he has fallen in love with the other woman is because she is a very self-less person... She helps other people first before even thinking of herself.

She has admitted to loving him, but, refuses to go out with him until he settles his marital situation 100%.

He met her in the workplace. They work for the same company. They are not dating... They talk at work and really got to know each other in going to her church for the most part.

Nobody is getting cross with anybody... at least on my part you can be sure of that. :)

Marianne87

I might be sounding a little harsh on your cousin...but what makes him think that the other marriage is going to work...Didn't he marry his current wife on love or what exactly. The one he is currently loving...might be as well doing an act and might turn worse than his current wife.
He is leaving his church for a woman...how do u think life will be after that...the woman has already gotten control that she got to the point that he want him to convert to her religion...I don't know...but I think he should stay with his current wife...she might change..God is powerful.