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FOC's Advice?

JesusisKingofKingsJesusisKingofKings
edited December 1969 in Personal Issues
well I have been alone by myself (but God is always there right?) for quite a while reading the bible and spiritual material? avoiding people even family and relatives.. and I do not speak much (maybe because of social anxiety and also because some saints teach we should not speak much unless its for the benefit of the listeners) and I try not to laugh at any jokes maybe or to look at women at all sometimes.. if I go to a place with my relatives where there is crowds of people sitting down ... and there is a girl in front of me... I may just look to the floor and close my eyes and try to pray.. because I feel like I look at some people in such a bad way when my eyes are opened and that makes people feel uncomfortable (or worse make God feel sad) and that I am looking at them when they are not aware and feel like im some rapist or something and I may think this was planned from the devil for this girl to be here now..

Well my priest I think wants me to be with people and thinks I should say jokes (not bad jokes - but I think maybe some priests jokes are bad)
or else how will I have a social life? and I think he may want me to have eye contact with women..


Well I think this advice might not be very good because if I follow it I might be distracted from my eternity and be attached too much to the world.. and after reading some of

0804 - SUBLIMITY OF MONASTISISM

http://www.coepa.org/tNG/cnt_download.php?id=329&dname=Download2tNG/cnt_download.php?id=329&dname=Download2

I think I may be called to monastism
and also from reading other spiritual material...

I WANT TO ASK: Do you think it is okay if I just follow my FOC's advice because it might be right despite what I think is right and what I think God might be wanting me to do from reading other books and expect (after praying to God that He does not let me go astray) my FOC himself to tell me he changed his mind... I should try not to look at women , and not to tell jokes etc?

I hope I am making some sense

Comments

  • Marianne87Marianne87
    Have you talked to your FOC about monastism...or you haven't brought that topic up at all...also I was just wondering how old are you...I just think age play a big role in that aspect...if you are too young then your mind will change thousand times and the thought you have today will change a lot...but if you are old enough to make a decision for yourself...like if you already graduated from college...then I think it's ok for you to follow your decision and ask your FOC about it...not just your FOC, go to monasteries spend time with the monks and learn from their way and their way of living...so you would be sure that this is God's call and not just a thought that passes you by.
    God Bless.
  • JesusisKingofKingsJesusisKingofKings
    I will turn 20 this year God willing maybe..

    Also I want to ask... do you think the monks might be judged by God for not visiting the prisoners, clothing the naked, feeding the poor etc... very often?

    maybe it is not for you to judge?

    I do not want to be a monk all my life and then find I have not kept some of Gods commandments..
  • Marianne87Marianne87
    How do you know they don't...there is a lot of things that the monks/nuns do that we don't know of...that's why i am suggesting you go and sit with them for a while and see their way of life and all of that.
  • JesusisKingofKingsJesusisKingofKings
    maybe some do sometimes but maybe some do not alot of times because I think they spend alot of their day doing other things like bible reading, saying prayers from the agpia , singing psalms... working with their hands ...

    I might go spend time with some monks one day...
  • JesusisKingofKingsJesusisKingofKings
    Well I do talk a bit...

    but you should know maybe that a person can be silent with his lips but his heart is not truly silent maybe and judging people maybe I think maybe.
  • JesusisKingofKingsJesusisKingofKings
    I do not think I thought you were judging sayedna... I just (if thats the right word) do not want you to think everyone who is silent with their mouth is very pure in heart ...
  • Marianne87Marianne87

    but didnt they just build one in NY?

    it's going to be build..sometimes hopefully soon....

    and my advice is still the same...the best way is to experience something before you get your life into it...once you go to the monastery...you will know whether this is how you spend the rest of your life...or whether it's better for you to have a family and work and so on...and i get where you are coming from in the non-talking part...i am awful at that...i am always silent...now it's really not doing me any good...people would start thinking oh you don't like us that's why you don't talk and all of that talks. So i guess it's alright for you to do it...but it might not be the best thing...because it's more harm than good...because not every word out of your mouth is going to be bad or going to influence someone in a bad way...you can talk but keep your talks pure...you can look but keep your thoughts pure...you can do all of that...once you trust in yourself to know that any talk/look or whatever else won't farther u away from God.
  • Christ4LifeChrist4Life
    I agree with MarMar and Marianne. Going to the monastery will give you a hint to what you actually experience and will add a lot to your decision...
  • mazzamazza
    i remember everytime i go an visit the nuns and stay for a couple of days, im totally transformed and soooo want 2 become a nun but then i attend a wedding and im like ohhhh, i wana get married hehehehehe ::)

    its all gods will- pray, talk 2 your confession father and read the bible, it will answer all your prayers

    god bless u
    marina
  • Christ4LifeChrist4Life
    there's a trip to the monastery in texas?? wow thats a big move lol...

    i agree with you marmar, there are no female "anythings" around here! i dont know why really...
  • JoEBaller24JoEBaller24
    speak to other abounas and when possible, a bishop about matters such as these concerning not following your Father of Confession's advice. Generally the message i got from my Father of Confession when i told him i didnt want to watch basketball games because of the cheerleaders, the commercials in-between (i dont really watch much TV at all) and all the temptation that i might get...my Father of Confession told me that once i understand the beauty of women then i will not fall into sin when i see them...it is not a matter of women, or men or anyone dressing or acting in a certain manner that makes them appealing, but it is our sinful inner desire...i did not want to read the Book "Song of Soloman" because there is detailed description of females that could easily be associated with sexual immorality in my corrupt mind...but when you realize (i still haven't completely and still struggle with this)...that the whole entire Church is comparable to everything in a Woman's body then you can no longer look at women the same as you once did...the birth from the baptismal and the womb of the woman, the pulpit from which are spoken the words of God to the congregation to feed them spiritually are comparable to the breasts which the woman uses to nurse the baby. If you search for meaning, you will find meaning, God will provide...but sin will follow you wherever you go, you could look away from "sinful" images all you want...but God blessed you and me with eyes that we may see the beauty of His creation...therefore we are not using our talents to the fullest potential, and thus not fully striving for perfection in a sense...we must learn to relinquish the evil desire within us and not blame our faults on others, or attempt to hide from our inner sins, "For I am conscious of my iniquity, and my sin is at all times before me." =) pray for each other that we may all get through hard struggles such as these.
  • Christ4LifeChrist4Life
    i agree with you both...

    everything depends on how you look at it... it all comes down to how pure your heart is...
  • JesusisKingofKingsJesusisKingofKings
    well that may be the advice God wants to give you from your FOC or maybe its not.. I dont know...

    but for me because I think I should not think I am pure in this area and maybe I am not pure... I think I should not look at women dressed inappropriately yet I do still look sometimes maybe :(

    I read somewhere something like... monks and nuns are tempted more than other people (well maybe there is some lay people that are tempted much more than monks and nuns.. God knows ...)

    Why might that be if its true? are they tempted more maybe to test the purity of their hearts? not because they are more defiled maybe?
    but then how ? could it be a temptation unless they were not pure in the area (?) they are tempted?

    So if lay people are not tempted by someone maybe that does not mean they are pure but that God is not allowing them to be tried right now... ?



    We can look at the beauty of Gods creation when they are dressed properly maybe... and still maybe then we shouldnt?

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