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Big Problem I need help plz

ilovethemonasteryilovethemonastery
edited December 1969 in Personal Issues
i have a really big confusing problem.
i'm talking to a guy who lives in egypt who's coptic orthodox and i thnk i'm falling for him and he asked me if he goes to the US would i agree on marrying him. but i dont know if he's serious or he just wants the green card.

and there's another coptic guy who lives in canada and i'm having the same feeling as the one in egypt. and i could tell that he likes me to cuz he asked me if my parents would freak out if i ''hooked up" with a guy in canada. and he's 24 and i'm 19

the problem is that i dont know wat to do with both of them cuz i dont want to hurt any of their feelings. ???

Comments

  • icontrol2002icontrol2002
    Are u ready for that kind of commitment? I think u should speak your mind. Tell them the truth. I think you should give it time. Don’t rush into it. Does your family know about this? If not, maybe you should talk to them, and see what they think. And talk to your Father of Confession because he knows you best!
    I would say that you should pray about this situation during the fast. Ask God to help you make a decision.
    Take care and GB
  • Marianne87Marianne87
    I am not going to give lectures about the not dating and all of that...because most people on where would just tell you that...but I am just gonna give a straight out opnion and anyone feel free to attack me on it if you think it's wrong.
    I think a good thing to do with both of them is to stop talking to them for a while...let's say maybe a week..see who you think about most who matters to you most. More importantly...see the qualities of both of them..and what stand out the most in them..is it good or bad?
    Just from experience...candians/americans might just be looking for a relationship not necessary a long term one...no offense guys...so it really depends on what you want or what you are looking for in the future...and more important on him as well.
    The Egyptain guy...some of them are really truthful...ask him the same thing back..if I decided to live in Egypt would you still marry me. I guess you can determine from his answer what he is really like...and he can lie...so be aware of whether he is lying to you or not. One last thing...before you do all of that...PRAY...God will tell you who to choose.
    Pray and follow your heart and good luck ;)
  • Christ4LifeChrist4Life
    I think your problem is both of them are long distance and it will be very hard to determine whether they are telling the truth or not. Like Marianne said, canadians/americans tend to look for the present and dont care much about long term relationships. Another thing is, at 19, are you ready for the type of commitment marriage requires? Are you in college? You have to keep all of this in perspective when looking at this situation. Does your FOC know you talk to these two guys? If he doesn't I suggest you talk to him because like icontrol2002 said, he knows you best.
  • Gods kidGods kid
    I too think that you should talk to your father of confession, but also, be patient. You are still young. Pray so that God can guide you.
    God bless,
    God's kid
  • Maryann23Maryann23
    Personally, I dont think you are going to really end up with either of them; but thats just my prediction. Internet relationships dont usually work out, because both of you are so limited. you cant see how he deals/ interacts with other people, therefore you arent aware of his negative traits. He can portray himself as anything you want him to be. Also, you both are behind a barrier (in this case, the computer screeen) anything can easily be said that isnt sincere. Be careful, internet relationships have mannny downfalls.

    But if it is an issue thats troubling you, dont worry! Put it in Gods hands..He already has all these little details planned out for us!
  • Unknown
    I truly believe that you are not ready for this relationship, and if you are make sure you actually got contact, not internet relationships or long-distance relationships, internet relationships are confusing, and also people can just make up false identifaction on their own, or make up silly comments, or even just wanting to know who you are, and than trick you at the last second, I heard lots of interesting, but sad stories about people that are getting scammed because someone made a false identifaction about themselves! Are you really ready for that commitment, and such complicated issue, I would have never thought about people would agree to such things, not saying you did or anything, but are you sure you can handle such pressure on yourself for getting married? You are only 19, almost all egyptian parents want the child to marry someone when they are finished, through, starting, or half-through college, at least that's what I heard about! So if you are concerned about this problem, I would recommend you sit down with both your FOC and your parents if this is taken seriously and you are up to that commitment! God be with you!

    Forever,
    Coptic Servent
  • Unknown
    If you are having so much trouble with a situation like this, then I do not think that you are ready. You have to have met the person in real life, learn about them, and make sure they are being honest. Right now, if you are in college, you will probably want to think about that more because if you do not it could affect your life. And never EVER trust a person with this kind of thing, unless you have actually met them and know who you are dealing with. It matters a lot when you meet them in person becuase it shows their true self that they might not be revealing over the internet. Just like I said, if you are confused in a situation like this, don't get yourself messed up in it. If you have not dealt with this or do not know how to deal with this, why would you want to risk it? It could just mean bad temptation. It happens a lot when you think that you are ready, but you have to know the complete HONEST part of a person or a situation before you get involved into its ties. I agree with CopticServent longdistance relationships and all this where you do not know the person is so hard to deal with becuase it could be bad in ithe end. I also think that you SHOULD tell ur FOC about this just like some people mentioned in here. It would be the wise choice becuase, no offense, but we are NOT nearly as wise as them and we do not have the wisdom that God gave them to give advice. These were all just my opinions, but all the true opinions and right opinions come from ur FOC
  • elshatarung7arbelshatarung7arb
    Above all .........there is a God...One God that knows the path of every person...therefore... Pray and let it be to His will .....rather then to Your Choice...(Do not pray that God may grant You this person as Your Husband but say ...You Choose O My Lord)........................My Priest once said that a Man was complaining about His Wife and wants a divorce.......then the Priest asked the Man...before You got married...what did You do....and the Man said that He prayed to God that He would marry this Woman....that He wants to divorce now...so let it be to His Will not to Our sins
  • joyisgod
    To be honest with you I didn’t read through all the posts above so my advice may echo the previous posts, however, just take my opinion if you so wish.

    If you are divided between two guys then that means you are unsure about them both, which ultimately means that you are not really in love or ready to be serious with the relationship and because they are both long distance then that makes the problem even worse.

    I’m not saying that online relationships don’t work out because of course some do and the parties live happily ever after, however, if you have strong feelings for two individuals then you need to sit with them and actually talk with them face to face. In order to determine who you are most compatible with because it could be neither after you meet them, or it could be very apparent.

    I’m not going to dismiss your feelings because your feelings could very well be valid and real, however, don’t give into the sweet talking over the net. Have meaningful discussions about church, the bible, your past, present, future, dreams, ambitions, etc etc. Once you really get to know a person inside and out then that’s when you can decide if you are falling for him. AND REMEMBER THE NET IS DECIVING AND NOT EVERYONE OUT THERE IS HONEST.

    Finally talk with your father of confession and be open about everything with him, tell him anything and everything you possibly can. And let God be the head of the relationship because a spiritual relationship looks a lot like a triangle, the head is God and then the two parties involved are the base.

    Conclusion:
    Pray as much as you can.
    And Lent is a great time to dedicate the fast to this cause.

    "Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me.” John 14:1

    In His Name
  • awaddawadd
    Please don't take this the wrong way:

    Your message read like it was written by someone who is confused. Considering your age it's absolutely fine.

    Forget trying to figure out the intentions of the men you've written of because there's way more to the issue. Spend some time figuring out who YOU are and why you feel you need one of these guys in your life.

    Ecclesiastes 3:1...read the verse and think long an hard before going any further.

    GBY
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