a question poped in my head

newbie

ok , if marriage is the combination of the two souls and bodies and they are viewed by god as one , does that mean they should do the confessions together or what , and does that mean that a sin of one of em can take em both to helll ???????

Marianne87

As I understand...each is still responsible for their own spiritual life. I was thinking the same as you, until I was recently corrected. When you repent...it needs to be coming from your heart not from the other person's heart. So you are still one with God, and in the same time you are still one with your spouse. They are not viewed as one, they are in reality one. Their heart, their soul, and even their body becomes one, but they are still two different people. THe Holy Spirit unites them in everything, but it doesn't say that when you sin, you need to confess together. Say for instance, I sinned and my spouse didn't do anything, would that mean he will need to repent for the sin I did...of course not. But what if you both fall in sin together, you did a sin whatever it is, and then you returned to God. Your spouse will have the responsibility of bringing you closer to God instead of leaving you to fall in sin.
So they have a reponsiblity to each other, to bring each other closer to God, but no one can carry your sins except for God, so they can't carry your sin for you.

Unknown

Newbie,

Whenever a question "popes" into my head, I say, "How did you get in there, Shenouda?" But to be serious, though husband and wife are "one flesh", they are certainly not "one soul." Still, however, each has a spiritual duty to help the other find salvation, but this is best done by loving one another fully and truly. One Russian priest I read once upon a time went so far as to say to men, "Everytime your wife yells at you, you should take it as coming from God." A bit extreme, perhaps, especially for younger men to swallow, but I've found that the Russian priest's words most often prove to be true.

In IHC XPC,

quisutdeus

gmankbadi

When Our Lord was questioned on the hypothetical scenario in which a woman would have espoused herself to many husbands; "In the resurrection on the Last day, whose wife will she be?", He responded,
“The sons of this age marry and are given in marriage. But those who are counted worthy to attain that age, and the resurrection from the dead, neither marry nor are given in marriage; nor can they die anymore, for they are equal to the angels and are sons of God, being sons of the resurrection." (Luke 20:27-39).
While I am not an expert on marriage, I believe the coalescing of man and woman within the sanctity of marriage is undeniable. There is a direct relational prerogative that every man or woman holds to their spouse' salvific progress.
However, the very sacrament of marriage, in itself, does not bestow the gift of sonship upon the individual. Sonship is a privilege given to men only by the grace of God Himself. Each individual independently is responsible for fulfilling his role as a child of God--as the consummate temple that God has desired to inhabit from before the creation of the world. Our spiritual relationship to God, although established in the sacrament of matrimony, is not fulfilled until we embrace God personally in our own existence. The relationship is likened to that of the angels in the sense that the entirety of one's existence is molded by the individual response to God's calling.
Thus, marriage is the eternal unity of two people establishing the work of Christ on earth, but repentance and relationship with God is the eternal unity which establishes the work of Christ in Heaven. You may be perfectly justified in how you respond to your spouse's spirituality but if you fail to account for your own spirituality, you have only managed to establish an earthly communion with God and failed to establish a Heavenly one. You and your spouse are responsible for your own actions in the same manner that your relationship with God is between you and Him. Ultimately, sin is not the breaking of an abstract moral law; it is the direct violation of the person of God--the individual's personal violation of Christ. A person alone is responsible for his countenance towards God.....no one else can carry that burden for him; no one else can declare “My Lord and My God” except him. The answer to both parts of your two-fold question is then simply "No".

I hope I have not managed to complicate the matter any further.

God Bless

newbie

ok , but does that alll mean that if one of em sins and neevr confesses and hides it , they will both face the judgment ????

Marianne87

NO. Each one is responsible for their own sins and their own repentance.

Unknown

I agree with Marianne. Each IS repsonsible for their own sins, but if there is a problem, then they can usually talk to Abouna about it together. that way, Abouna can help both of them at the same time. It's easier for them that way so they both know what he said. If it's a sin they made in a fight or something, I think that they are to talk to Abouna about it togehter becuase it helps them figure it out together, but they have their own sins that they should confess secretely to Abouna. That's just what I think.

love lots,
CopticChica21

Christ4Life

Another important point to remember is that marriage is a relationship of THREE persons; a man, a woman, and God. So in this relationship, the man and the woman have a relationship, and each one of them has a separate relationship with God. You cannot control anyone else's actions, therefore you are not responsible for them. You do however, have the duty to correct them if they are wrong.

Unknown

Yeah, that's a good point. I think that it depends on the situation, how their FOC feels, and how they feel. Ask your Father of Confession, too.

love lots,
CopticChica21