they are a bad influence but i still wanna be friends

edited December 1969 in Youth Corner
hello ..how is everyone going..

well this is what is happening...

my friends are a BAD influence to me...i can feel it...they dont force me to do anything or anything like that..BUT they are talking about things that i well...things i wouldnt do....and i feel that by them talken about it..it is making me ..well...want to do it..or making me feel like what we are talking about is the norm...where it is obviously not..but is to them...

so i dont know..they are not doin anything wrong...but i feel like they will change my views on alot of thing to the worst infortunatelly...

i love them all so very much and do not want to end our relationship....

i would tell them to not talk about it...but to them they wouldnt understand that i find it as a weird topic..or like something i dont want to talk about..so while they might skip that topic..they will go on to something with the same nature...

i donot know what to do...slowly i am deteriorating and becoming them..something i donot want to be...but i want to be with them

i realllllly need help...please..

thanks heaps in advance... :-\ :-\

Comments

  • Okay I had this ame problem two years ago. i didn't want to lose them as friends but they were really bad. So i stayed with them, and it was such a big mistake. My advice from my own experience is to leave them, but it's your decision GBU

    PK
  • WWJD would He stay or leave? Remmember with every action there is consequences. You never know they might get you in trouble.
  • Perhaps try and be a positive light to them and set an example

    WWJD would He stay or leave?

    Mark 2:15-17

    15 Now it happened, as He was dining in Levi’s house, that many tax collectors and sinners also sat together with Jesus and His disciples; for there were many, and they followed Him. 16 And when the scribes and Pharisees saw Him eating with the tax collectors and sinners, they said to His disciples, “How is it that He eats and drinks with tax collectors and sinners?”
    17 When Jesus heard it, He said to them, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners, to repentance.”

  • You have to take great care in these situations because there is a difference between the sinner who commits his sin out of weakness, and the sinner who commits his sin out of enjoyment. I believe that in the verse WMA posted, the Lord is speaking of the former type, as those in need of the physician.

    Since I don't know the situation personally, the best advice I can give is to go to your Father of Confession, but remember

    1st Corinthians 15:33- "Do not be misled: 'Bad company corrupts good character.'"

    Don't let the devil trick you into thinking that by staying with your friends you will bring them to God. In the end you'll accomplish nothing but greatly hindering your own spiritual life because the truth is that the best thing that you can offer to these friends if you truly care for them is your prayers.

    As for telling this to them, the way I go by it is honesty is the best policy.
  • [quote author=Luke90 link=board=13;threadid=3892;start=0#msg54858 date=1147837953]
    You have to take great care in these situations because there is a difference between the sinner who commits his sin out of weakness, and the sinner who commits his sin out of enjoyment. I believe that in the verse WMA posted, the Lord is speaking of the former type, as those in need of the physician.

    Since I don't know the situation personally, the best advice I can give is to go to your Father of Confession, but remember

    1st Corinthians 15:33- "Do not be misled: 'Bad company corrupts good character.'"

    Don't let the devil trick you into thinking that by staying with your friends you will bring them to God. In the end you'll accomplish nothing but greatly hindering your own spiritual life because the truth is that the best thing that you can offer to these friends if you truly care for them is your prayers.

    As for telling this to them, the way I go by it is honesty is the best policy.


    thanks all for ur repliws..and yes..i feel that i might show them the way...but it really is only making me change my ways...as for ur comment popekyrollos....they are not BAD people as i said before..its just the type of conversation is not of purity.....however..just like any one else..i DONOT want to leave them..another reason for not leaving them is that i dont really like any of the other people and i would not know who to be friend....

    as for my confession father...all i really told him was that...i have friends..im not sure if they were the best of people to be around..and that i will see...and i will give myself time to make a descision...he didnt say anything to that...

    but now i am hear..to make up my descision..or is it to change my dscision...
  • hello 1cross3nails4given (i like that name btw)
    I completely understand what you're saying because I've been in that situation myself, having to choose between being with people who are not so pure in conversation, but welcome me verses being around people who are not so impure in converation, but I feel that I impose myelf on them.

    I found the answer to be that if you are determined to make the decision to keep your thoughts and your surroundings pure (because you will become influenced by that no matter how strong you are -- even subconciously) then God won't leave you and will help you find those who can have a good influence on you. You just have to be sincere and genuine in that decision.

    Also, feeling that you need to stay with them so that you may once influence them in a good way, may be a trick from the devil. You can influence them without being so close to them. I'm not saying don't ever talk to them again, no, please dont do that, but just don't stay around for their impure converations or try to change the subject. Whatever you do, don't allow yourself to be at risk of their influence.
  • I would try to change them by changing the subject to somthing good. If they continue being bad then leave them.
  • Who is more of a sinner? The person who sins. Or the person that hangs out w/ the people that sin and doesnt walk away? The person who hangs out with them. The reason is u should walk away because why would u hang out with people who are sinning. Common sense really.
  • thanks heaps...one again..i stress to u guys that they are good people and all ...nut sibcontiously..they talk or say describe matters of their life...that put imafes in my head that i DISLIKE!!

  • Hi 1cross3nails4given
    I have been through what you are saying , i know ,its very difficult to leave them especially if they're very close to you but if they shall bring you away from God then believe me they can never be your friends!The devil is using them to get you away From Jesus ,the one who died for you and who loved you more than anyone you can think of .Tell them your point of view ,be courageous ,the Lord himself is with you!! "The Lord is my light and my salvation whom shall i fear"Tell them if God was to be sitting with us can we talk about what this issue?
    If they laugh and start mocking you never feel ashamed for you are talking about your saviour who was born in a barn an suffered the humiliation for you ..My brother ,if they do not stop i advise you to leave them because gradually you will slip without realizing you even said slowly i am deteriorating and becoming them.You will start thinking like them , and gradually you will start contributing to their discussionsT.he devil is smarter than i and you think and whoever wants to win the Lord must reject anything that'll take him from him by the power that he will provide you with .
    Finally ,Pray to God ,he understands what you are going through and i am positive that he will help you in this experience .Ask him to help you love him more than anything in the world so you ask him and have power over everything that takes you away.
    REmember that if you leave them you will be rich with Christ who will enrich you with his everlasting love !
    TRy to find pure friends and i am sure you'll friends like you !
    God be with you!!!

  • i agree with Sara they will eventually start dragging you away from God. maybe instead of cutting them off all together do it graddually.
  • When i chose to follow jesus i told friends all about it cause i was fired up with the spirit.Well some was like interested in my new life.and would talk with me about it.Others just went on talkin about sinful things and changed the subject.Well in the end i lost most of my friends but i made sure i told them the word for friends or no friends im goin to heaven and ultimately that is my goal.My point is sometimes you have to give up friends that you love to do the right things that are good for you and pleasing to god.I will pray for you and please pray for me .
  • thanks soo much for the replies...


    here are my thoughts...

    i wanna be real truthful to ma friend...where i tell them that i dislike the way they talk..and i will tell them that i would rather they would chage their way..but also tell them the things that i love about them (alot of things)

    and if there is no improvement in the next 3 weeks...i will warn them again..and if nothing happens...i will see to go to another group of people....

    BUT IT WILL BE SOOO HARD FOR ME...

    but i love God more...even though i never seem to show it
  • thats really sad to hear :(, well really, who do u liv for? why are u reaally hear on earth for? as it says in the Agbia prayers in the 12th hour... if this life was everlasting and this life eternal, o my soul, you would have a valid excuse. but if your wickeddeeds and repulsive evils are exposed before the just Judge, what answer would you give when you are lying in the bed to sin and failed to subjectt he body. u live to know God more and when you have the final exam you can pass... hanging out with bad frends is not gonna get u anywhere exept the otehr direction. its good because u did the first step which is acknowledgin that they r bad everything else will fall into place if u let it... say to God Lord im gonna put my life into your hands and let you guide my every breathe... also please memba this poem


    Lord, throughout this day,
    as I try to follow you,
    let this be my rule to live by:
    What would Jesus do?

    When a friend or a loved one
    Asks me for a moment or two,
    May I think of one thing only:
    What would Jesus do?

    In all my dealings, help me
    to be honest, fair and true,
    to measure each decision by:
    What would Jesus do?

    When I’m feeling troubled
    and I turn prayer to you,
    give me wisdom to decide:
    What would Jesus do?

    And let me promise each new day
    to live my whole life through,
    in love and peace, remembering:
    What would Jesus do?

    Then when the day is ended,
    may I resolve anew
    to guide tomorrow by the motto:
    What would Jesus do?

    :) May the Lord be with you and may you choose the right thing... also i think that 3 weeks is very long until u warn them agen it wood actually have to be the next time they do... for eg. with my friends they hav pure talk but for instance 1 swears id say hay watch it in a nyc way and theyd b lyk sorry and now they no not to swear in front of me so i dunno i gess u can try that teach them and tell them its rong... n its not good to follow the crowd neway like in romans 12 2 and ephesians 4:22-24 it says dont conform but be transformed meaning into the good way be moulded into Christs image... also dont blend...

    neway i hope ive helped u in any way ven if its a lil bit Rabena ma3aki


    +FROG+
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