Hi,
I'd just like to ask , given this is a commandment, how exactly does one "honour" his/her parents? The Orthodox way? What is expected from children??? Does honouring mean "obeying"? Does honouring mean "doing as your parents do"?
I always understood it as never to bring "dishonour" to your parents. I.e. never bring shame by doing anything wrong that would humiliate them. But, i don't know, i've never really asked. I always thought that if you obeyed the 9 commandments, the 10th one comes naturally.
Also, i think that most of us, our parents are in fact our closest friends, so in a way, the formalities and boundaries between parents and friends merge more, and perhaps a lack of respect could also be a side-effect of such a close relationship.
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I hope i answered your question
Baladoos
This is an extreme example.. What if it was something smaller, like them being far away from church... ?
What if you don't like your parents ? What if they don't even act much like parents and the only reason you even know them is because you are biologically related ? Like what if your dad's a drunk and your mother a prostitute. Do you still have to respect them then ?
This is an extreme example.. What if it was something smaller, like them being far away from church... ?
This commandment, like any other, is not absolute in all situations.
For example, if your parents left the Church and wished you to do the same thing, you would obviously not apostasise just because they told you to.
But even in this case, you would not cease to respect your parents completely.
It's a bit like what St. Paul says regarding our obedience to the civil authorities. We should obey all the laws of our rulers, even if they're pagans. But if they order us to do something evil (like sacrificing to idols) our faithfulness to God overrides our faithfulness to the government.
Hi,
I'd just like to ask , given this is a commandment, how exactly does one "honour" his/her parents? The Orthodox way? What is expected from children??? Does honouring mean "obeying"? Does honouring mean "doing as your parents do"?
I always understood it as never to bring "dishonour" to your parents. I.e. never bring shame by doing anything wrong that would humiliate them. But, i don't know, i've never really asked. I always thought that if you obeyed the 9 commandments, the 10th one comes naturally.
Also, i think that most of us, our parents are in fact our closest friends, so in a way, the formalities and boundaries between parents and friends merge more, and perhaps a lack of respect could also be a side-effect of such a close relationship.
Honour your parents basically means ( as someone else described it, on here):
Respect them, Love them, obey them, and take a good care of them when they reach their senior years just like they took care of you when you were a baby, and woke them up in the middle of the night because you are hungry or want another diaper.
The only time where you don't obey them is when "they take you away from god, or try to, Just like in some of the saints lives, St. Marina her father did NOT believe in JESUS, and he tried to get her away from him, and she didn't listen to him, and he was helping the king to kill the christians and his daughter "MARINA" was a christian, but then the kind liked her and wanted to marry her... etc..."
That is the only thing when you don't listen to them is when they take you away from god.
Someone can correct me if i am wrong,
Pray for me,
We were commanded to honour our parents for the sake of God, but we were also commanded to hate them for His sake also (Luke 14:26 cf. Matthew 10:34-39).
I think what Iqbal means is: We should love God more than our parents. That means, i love the truth and His commandments MORE than my parents. For example, some parents can lead their children to unholiness. I remember a man that once insisted that his kids , 16 and 17 years of age , go to prostitution houses so they can "grow to be men". Is this leading your kids into holiness?? Don't worry, he wasn't Coptic Orthodox. But, there will be a time where I prefer God's commandments - His Statutes OVER and above what my parent's influence - in the case where their influence is UNHOLY or wrong. So, in a way, its very very normal for a child to actually tell her father that smoking is WRONG. Its an addiction. Of course, we should say it with love, and respect so not to hurt their feelings, but i feel sometimes this is hard.
Anyway, im asking this question for one reason:
If we are friends with our parents, perhaps (as friends) we become less formal... and so we treat our parents as our friends.. really even best friends... so, from time to time we "bascule" or "swing" (i don't know this verb in english - but in french we say "BASCULER" ) between respect and non respect. How bad is that???
For example - now my dad is my friend, and my mom is my friend, perhaps i may literally treat them as friends and forget completely that they may be offended by my casual attitude towards them. You see??
What does God mean exactly then by Honouring your parents?? Because - i feel that honouring them will add a certain kind of formality between them and myself that will supersede any friendship.