Loving others and God's Love

Mira8388h

We all should love one another and pray for each other. Just like god taught us.
God loves us sooooooooo much that he send his begotten son to save us, he died for us because he loves us.

My question is/ the thing i am puzzled about is....

Does it get annoying telling someone you love them constantly??
GOd loves us and he shows us he loves us by the things he does for us, and we don't think it is annoying, atleast not me.

The person you love, does it annoy them hearing from you "I love you" eventhough they love you back and they say it back to you!!! as in a clean relationship!!

Also, Is it a sin that 2 engaged couples love eachother? as a clean love nothing perverted and nasty at all!! Devoloping feelings for each other based on personalities!
I mean any engaged couples should know each other and love each other if they are going to move on.

bentBABAyasooa`

jydeacon

I don't think people should get or do get annoyed from people saying i love you. the only way i think people can get annoyed is if you just say it but your actions say otherwise. i don't think its a sin if people that are engaged to love eachother. if they didn't then they shouldn't be getting married. Love is something given from God for us to give to one another and back to God. i personally don't say i love you to anyone that often i would rather show my love with my actions then with just words, but thats just me.

God Bless and Pray for me and my weakness

Mira8388h

jydeacon, I am confused!

WHy should it be a sin an engaged couples like each other???

How about, If one person likes to be treat soooooooooo well and the the other is not carefull about the other's feeling, How can a person aproach that if they he/she were engaged?

jydeacon

its not a sin. they should like each other. more like love each other or they shouldn't be getting married. Just talk to the person who is not careful about the others feelings and say that this and this or such and such really bothers me, so please don't do that any more. and if they don't stop and its a big deal than the person should think if this is the right person to get married to.

God Bless and Pray for me and my weakness

Mira8388h

What if you love that person, and they say they love you back, but his/her actions don't make sense. Bas you love them, and there is more than one other guy infront of you for commetment, bas you love the one you are with. She/he is not treating you right! ???
Should you keep forgiving like god forgives us? or Find a solution because it is your life and Marriage is not a game??

jydeacon

I think you answered your own question. Nobody said you had to stop loving that person. Just not in the same way you would with a husband/fiance. If one person is not treating the other right than it is not right for them to get married because the problem is not going to get fixed over night. and chances are that if you taked to that person and they still don't treat you right than you should not be getting married. Marriage is a two way street. One person cannot be the one always keeping the peace. it should be a peaceful house not just for the couple but also for the potential children that could also be in that house. you should always forgive and forget but don't keep putting oneself in a situation where you are not happy. Like you said marriage is not a game where you can mess with stuff like that. if the problem persists than i suggest that the person start looking for someone else for a commitment.

Mira8388h

How can a person break off a realtionship that has been going for over 18 months???

Is there Dignity in love and self Respect???

jydeacon

To a certain point you can only take so much we are human. we are not God. thats why we as coptic orthodox have the engagement period. to find out about the other person you are getting married to. even if it was 5 years if the relationship is working than they shouldn't get married. why go into a marriage where you have doubts and problems from before the start.

Mira8388h

I thought problems like that are normal to have in a relationship.
bas I hate to admit you are right. If there is doubts why even go on.
You can stand him/her hurting you, but you can't stand you hurting him/her!
How can you mention such a breakup for a period as long as 18 months???

jydeacon

Problems are normal but not to a point where it becomes a serious problem that you are having doubts about the relationship. at this point this person can choose not to go through with anything but if that person gets married you are stuck for life and then you are forced to work it out and deal with problems for the rest of your life. Now i am not saying just dump the person right off. try and fix the problem but if it doesn't work than there is really no choice in the matter.

Mira8388h

One last chance? you mean?
Give the person one last chance and warn them, they blow it then bye bye????
Hard jydeacon, hard to do so!
Your heart won't let you do such a thing, and hurt their feelings like that.

jydeacon

Thats all you can do. but you can't let people take advantage of you either and walk all over you. now i am in not the same position but i hope i would be able to make the right judgement if it ever came to that. Just Pray for now. God will show you the right path

Rabina Ma3ki

looppool

did u try to talk to ur parents about breaking up because of how he treats u? after all, u are engaged and egyptains handle this kind of stuff a little bit different than in the american culture....

if u just break up with him on ur own... hell is gonna break loose on u at home!!! talk to ur parents and use their advise....

i agree with jydeacon too...... give him more chances... tawaly balak 3alah.....

also, you mentioned u have someone else in front of u ready for commitment... don't make anyone influence ur judgement on the person u are with now. 3asfour fi el hand better than 10 3alla el shagara....

plus... u said u love this person 50 times through out ur posts already... love forgets little things and what u told me is a LITTLE thing :-\ ... he might not be feeling well, or is really busy... or .. or .. or.. or.. that just doesn't mean he is ignoring u or doesn't love u anymore!!!! patience ya mama

and like jydeacon...... just pray for now (and 4me2 :D )

Mira8388h

Anbabola,
what happens if you keep forgving, and at the end you are the one who gets their backs kicked?
I am in a position where I am stuck, I don't know if I should keep forgiving or I should care about me and just me which is called selfish, and I am not a selfish person and at the same time I don't want to be involved in a painfull relationship.
Every girl and guy, has this vision of what their other half should look like and what is their personality is like, and most important how they both are going to treat each other!!!!
There is more than one way he can get in contact with me, there are about a billion phones in the world and billion computers and phone cards are everywhere!!!! and one minute of his time be mine won't kill him he nor it will be the end of the world!

My parents are giving me the choice to whomever I want to marry, I can marry an american if I want!!! they are going to give me their advice towards that marriage and it is up to me to decide what I want to do. It is not like It is PERMANET!!

This is not the fist time this happened!

looppool

ok, then its really up to u on what u want to do... its ur life and u seem to know what options u have: dump him or give him another chance.

oh wait........ did u try to be honest with him and ask him why he's acting this way!!?? tell him ur not comfortable with the way he is acting!

I can marry an american if I want!!!

nice, go for el mosstawrad mesh el mahaly... they last longer... maybe el yabani will give u better mileage :P

jk..

p4m plz

Mira8388h

I can't make a decsion, but I know there is giong to be a discussion when he gets back.

[quote author=AnbaBola link=board=11;threadid=4909;start=0#msg66630 date=1169676512]
nice, go for el mosstawrad mesh el mahaly... they last longer... maybe el yabani will give u better mileage :P

Realy?
I hear People from New Jersey gives the best mileage :P :P!
Lucky you NJ. NJ chill and let god work it out!

looppool

NJ chill and let god work it out!

yea why worry!!! pope kyrollos said "laa tofakar fi el amr kateer bal da3 el amr lah maan bee yadoh el amr".... i know all of my problems/needs i can't deal with myself so i just leave it to god and he will work it out for me when the time is right! all what it takes is patience :D (i'm lazy too so that helps hehehe).... if i fall into stressful time, i just remember anba bola's saying "alazy yahrab meen el dyka yahrab meen el lah".... and i deal with it after prayer.

p4m plzz

Mira8388h

i just leave it to god and he will work it out for me

I still think NJ gives good miliage!!!
:)

I actualy have a tarnema about fear and worries! it is great! ;)

copt4eva

I agree with AnbaBola