[quote author=bhm2c link=topic=5189.msg69552#msg69552 date=1176254561] I have a an addiction to a certain sin, But i really want to stop, and there are times when i feel that i wont do this ever again but i always come back to it. how do i stop?
Speak to a monk - or even a priest. Just follow their instructions.
well firstly, u can ask urself if u no the difference betwwn repent and confess. repentance is wen u never do theisn again. which i think, we never do. so, technically u should talk to abouna and confess. talk to God. nad strenthen ur spiritual life and maybe the devil wont tempt u. that happened with many saints.
st. Moses the strong, was once tempted and he went to his father in confession in one night just 11 times saying he couldnt saty in his room.
I am also addicted to a sin. A few things that I am going to try doing: 1) I am going to stack a bunch of books that I will continue to read a bit every day (thus, this will go over a long time); these books will be books for motviation. For e.g. I am starting with St Athanasius biography of St Anthony the Great.
2) Keep a log book (I haven't decided this but see if the FOC would like to keep a check on this- hence you feel obligated to do it, and it would be honest.) This way you are monitoring yourself, and you are facilitating your FOC in monitoring it too. It would a self-reflection: If you didn't sin- think why- how can I continue this? If you felt tempted- think why- how was I able to surpass it?- Can I remove the source? If you did sin- think why- how can I avoid this?
3) If it is pornography, put Holy Books where they once occupied (obviously you are going to remove it- and if it is cyber, get one of those NetNanny things. Put the computer in a public space etc. If it is lying, then try techniques on not talking etc. If it is swearing- substitute words etc. If it is gambling, get someone to monitor your wallet etc.
4) Each day/week you don't do it, thank God and treat yourself- this is purely psychological
5) Keep things in the open- Satan loves the darkness and works best at those times
6) Pray, Pray, Pray
7) Never despair
8) Make a list on a) How it feels right now in sin b) what the sin does to you c) How you feel with it Put it on a wall or something where you can be constantly reminded
9) Memorise a psalm that you would say when you confront the temptation e.g. Ps 22 etc.
10) Have regular confession
If I think of others I will add, but I am sure you would have some from others.
If you have problems getting motivated, I want you to this for yourself i. scale how important it is to change ii. list what it would take to increase the importance of changing iii. try doing that iv. List the good things about what you are doing (for e.g. smoking- feel relaxed etc.) v. List the less good things about what you are doing (for e.g. smoking- chronic cough- irritating, often witha disgusting phlegm which disgusts everyone and makes you lose appetite vi. List the less good things about changing (it would effort; I will feel less relaxed; I will be alert) vii. List the good things about changing (I wouldn't feel dirty, I'll feel healthy; I have more money etc.)
To get confident: i. grade how confident you are of changing ii. list how you can increase you confidence (for e.g. need to increase faith- ask how?) iii. brainstorm ideas on what to do (even those which 'failed' before iv. pick the things you are most comfortable to do (for now) v. see if you can foresee issues with it (if you tried it previously, try learning from past mistakes) vi. make the plan - when you are going to start - how are you going to monitor the plan - what are you going to do if there is a setback - how are you going to deal with the issues/problems you are anticipating etc. vii. talk with your FOC on this plan, and get it into action.
A priest once told me that if you are trying to stop a certain sin but can't, picture God's postion when he died 4 us.Imagine how they put the crown of thorns in his head, and and the nails through his pure body. The priest told me that that would work if u truly feel sorry. Okay! Glad to help.
Comments
I have a an addiction to a certain sin, But i really want to stop, and there are times when i feel that i wont do this ever again but i always come back to it. how do i stop?
Speak to a monk - or even a priest. Just follow their instructions.
Is this a sin that involves money?
st. Moses the strong, was once tempted and he went to his father in confession in one night just 11 times saying he couldnt saty in his room.
1) I am going to stack a bunch of books that I will continue to read a bit every day (thus, this will go over a long time); these books will be books for motviation. For e.g. I am starting with St Athanasius biography of St Anthony the Great.
2) Keep a log book (I haven't decided this but see if the FOC would like to keep a check on this- hence you feel obligated to do it, and it would be honest.) This way you are monitoring yourself, and you are facilitating your FOC in monitoring it too. It would a self-reflection:
If you didn't sin- think why- how can I continue this?
If you felt tempted- think why- how was I able to surpass it?- Can I remove the source?
If you did sin- think why- how can I avoid this?
3) If it is pornography, put Holy Books where they once occupied (obviously you are going to remove it- and if it is cyber, get one of those NetNanny things. Put the computer in a public space etc. If it is lying, then try techniques on not talking etc. If it is swearing- substitute words etc. If it is gambling, get someone to monitor your wallet etc.
4) Each day/week you don't do it, thank God and treat yourself- this is purely psychological
5) Keep things in the open- Satan loves the darkness and works best at those times
6) Pray, Pray, Pray
7) Never despair
8) Make a list on
a) How it feels right now in sin
b) what the sin does to you
c) How you feel with it
Put it on a wall or something where you can be constantly reminded
9) Memorise a psalm that you would say when you confront the temptation e.g. Ps 22 etc.
10) Have regular confession
If I think of others I will add, but I am sure you would have some from others.
If you have problems getting motivated, I want you to this for yourself
i. scale how important it is to change
ii. list what it would take to increase the importance of changing
iii. try doing that
iv. List the good things about what you are doing (for e.g. smoking- feel relaxed etc.)
v. List the less good things about what you are doing (for e.g. smoking- chronic cough- irritating, often witha disgusting phlegm which disgusts everyone and makes you lose appetite
vi. List the less good things about changing (it would effort; I will feel less relaxed; I will be alert)
vii. List the good things about changing (I wouldn't feel dirty, I'll feel healthy; I have more money etc.)
To get confident:
i. grade how confident you are of changing
ii. list how you can increase you confidence (for e.g. need to increase faith- ask how?)
iii. brainstorm ideas on what to do (even those which 'failed' before
iv. pick the things you are most comfortable to do (for now)
v. see if you can foresee issues with it (if you tried it previously, try learning from past mistakes)
vi. make the plan
- when you are going to start
- how are you going to monitor the plan
- what are you going to do if there is a setback
- how are you going to deal with the issues/problems you are anticipating
etc.
vii. talk with your FOC on this plan, and get it into action.
GB
Many thanks for a very comprehensive and very helpful list; we could all learn from following such a routine.
In Christ,
Anglian