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Hanging by a Thread

kokiiekokiie
edited December 1969 in Personal Issues
I have a friend who I care about HEAPS and I love SOO MUCH.. Unfortunately this friend and I havn't seen much of each other lately and we've started to drift apart..

When I spoke to her recently and was giving her advice on something [ a situation she got herself into that I think is very dangerous ] she threw it back in my face saying 'It's my life and you can't control me'..

I couldn't believe what she had said, I was shocked and hurt, this lead to anger. It's not something that I expected.. I mean, I did half expect her to completely disregard everything I was saying and for it to go through one ear and out the other.. but not for her to actually say that. She obviously doesn't want my oppinion on issues anymore.. and I can't be her friend and watch her throw her life away without opening my mouth.

I'm not actually sure what I should be doing now. Should I slowly evaporate this relationship from my life [as much as that would hurt]? Or should I confront her?
She destroyed every last hope I had in her. I don't respect her anymore.. but I do love her and I miss her.. I don't want her out of my life.. but I dont think she's good for me. What do I do ???

Comments

  • ophadeceophadece
    Dear hizz_child,
    Actually, I think in all honesty, that you asked the question, and you answered it as well. All of us go through this period of uncertainty and confusion, but I think I agree with answer. Even though you are shocked, even though you couldn't believe it (or actually half expected), even though you can't imagine yourself without her, but your answer which I agree to, is that she is not the one for you.
    Yes, I agree with you, you should let it evapourate, pull yourself out of her life, and just concentrate on yourself. My only advice is "pray for her". No matter how you feel, pray for her, and believe me God will help you to forget, and will calm your senses and feelings down.
    God bless you hizz_child and please mention my name in your prayers.
  • whywhy
    hizz_chiild, if we are talking about the same person, from a personal friendship point of view to both you and the girl, i have seen that the girl has caused this unbelievable reaction towards you due to her friends. (you know what i mean). I have repeatedly heard that saying in the mouths of her friend (especially when the subject matter is regarding you) and apparently has seemed to rub off your friend.

    My advice: dont stop giving her advice. EVER!! even though it WILL probably hurt your feeling (her reactions), however it will be of most importance with her when she does happen to break up with her friend, that she will look back at you (or valuable advice in this area) and thus once again turn back to you. at the moment you may not see it (and neither can she) but it is when our friend will be the most down (especially from her friend) she will look back to the former advice and happiness she once had with you. SHE NEEDS YOU, although she doesnt realise it. AND WHEN SHE DOES, she will look for you and you will be either 'evaporated from her life' or 'hanging on, despite her attempts to loose you'. its up to you to choose whether u can hang in their for the  time she needs you. EVERYONE GOES THRU ROUGH TIMES!!

    Hizz_chilld if its UNCLEAR what i have said to you, PM so that i may start using names (just to check we are talking about the same person)

    HOPE EVERYTHING WORKS OUT AND IF U EVER  NEED ME ILL BE HERE!!!
  • kokiiekokiie
    Yes we are talking about the same person.. and I know exactly what you're talking about.. I just don't think it's going to go away..
  • kokiiekokiie
    [quote author=ophadece link=topic=5212.msg69875#msg69875 date=1176753399]
    Dear hizz_child,
    Actually, I think in all honesty, that you asked the question, and you answered it as well. All of us go through this period of uncertainty and confusion, but I think I agree with answer. Even though you are shocked, even though you couldn't believe it (or actually half expected), even though you can't imagine yourself without her, but your answer which I agree to, is that she is not the one for you.
    Yes, I agree with you, you should let it evapourate, pull yourself out of her life, and just concentrate on yourself. My only advice is "pray for her". No matter how you feel, pray for her, and believe me God will help you to forget, and will calm your senses and feelings down.
    God bless you hizz_child and please mention my name in your prayers.


    hmm.. I dont if 'll be able to.
  • whywhy
    [quote author=Hizz_chiilld link=topic=5212.msg69953#msg69953 date=1176782223]
    Yes we are talking about the same person.. and I know exactly what you're talking about.. I just don't think it's going to go away..



    what wont go away? their friendship?
  • kokiiekokiie
    no, her attitude towards me...
  • whywhy
    i disagree, once again from what i saw, her attiude was MERELY a reflection of what she was talked into by her OTHER friends. it did not look like she was convinced to the extent tht she acted. once again, you must give it time, it is our calling to love our enemies and to _____ to those who persecute you (i forgot the missing word)
  • kokiiekokiie
    So your saying I should chase her even though she keeps running away ?
  • egy
    dear hizz child

    i had the exact same problem, i was frinds weith this guy and i thought that our friendship was never going to be destroyed. then i found out all of these horrible tingas about him, i wanted to help him andi still do but i dont think i cn do anything. I just pray for him. i dont talkto him no more because my parents dont thoink he is the right person that i should be hanging out with. My advice for you is to preay for her and one day she will come back to you asking for you to help her.

    EgY
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