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Can love ever be found on the Internet?
Hey Guys.....
I have a couple of questions, I need your opnions on them and also expirences (If you'd like to share them).
1. Can a person find love over the internet?
A. If so, Can it relate into marriage?
B. Even if you never met the person?
2. Can some one who met somebody 2x, talk and get to know each other over the
internet? and have that relationship relates to marriage?
3. Can a person get to know another person for love relationship over the internet?
4. Is the internet one of the good ways to meet that special one?
5. Does a relationship between two couples work, if they met over the internet?
6. when getting to know a person, what to you look for in them?
7. Is DIGNITY important between 2 couples?
8. What are the major things that are needed for a relationship to work out?
9. If there are doubts from some body towards their partner, what can they do about it?
10. Do you belive a girl should propose to a guy? Or even give him hints to go ask for her hand?
I understand that the internet is not one of the BEST ways to meet someone for a relationship, because the person describe him/her self in a way they see themselves.... and most of the time the way they see themselves is not the way they realy are. But I still want to know your point of view. Because just like that saying "ely akbar menak be youm, e3raf akter menak be sana" "who is older than you by one day, knows more than you by a year".
Adivces and opnions are greatly appriciated,
Pray for me,
bentBABAyasooa`
I have a couple of questions, I need your opnions on them and also expirences (If you'd like to share them).
1. Can a person find love over the internet?
A. If so, Can it relate into marriage?
B. Even if you never met the person?
2. Can some one who met somebody 2x, talk and get to know each other over the
internet? and have that relationship relates to marriage?
3. Can a person get to know another person for love relationship over the internet?
4. Is the internet one of the good ways to meet that special one?
5. Does a relationship between two couples work, if they met over the internet?
6. when getting to know a person, what to you look for in them?
7. Is DIGNITY important between 2 couples?
8. What are the major things that are needed for a relationship to work out?
9. If there are doubts from some body towards their partner, what can they do about it?
10. Do you belive a girl should propose to a guy? Or even give him hints to go ask for her hand?
I understand that the internet is not one of the BEST ways to meet someone for a relationship, because the person describe him/her self in a way they see themselves.... and most of the time the way they see themselves is not the way they realy are. But I still want to know your point of view. Because just like that saying "ely akbar menak be youm, e3raf akter menak be sana" "who is older than you by one day, knows more than you by a year".
Adivces and opnions are greatly appriciated,
Pray for me,
bentBABAyasooa`
Comments
And if there are doubts, do you mean if they are married? as in thier partner? if so they sould talk to abouna about it, and sort it out or try. Divorces will only be accepted by the Coptic Orthodox Church if it has to do with sexual abuse.
-thats what i think for some of the questions, sorry for not answering all.. what do you guys think?...
Hey Guys.....
I have a couple of questions, I need your opnions on them and also expirences (If you'd like to share them).
1. Can a person find love over the internet?
A. If so, Can it relate into marriage?
B. Even if you never met the person?
2. Can some one who met somebody 2x, talk and get to know each other over the
internet? and have that relationship relates to marriage?
3. Can a person get to know another person for love relationship over the internet?
4. Is the internet one of the good ways to meet that special one?
5. Does a relationship between two couples work, if they met over the internet?
6. when getting to know a person, what to you look for in them?
7. Is DIGNITY important between 2 couples?
8. What are the major things that are needed for a relationship to work out?
9. If there are doubts from some body towards their partner, what can they do about it?
10. Do you belive a girl should propose to a guy? Or even give him hints to go ask for her hand?
I understand that the internet is not one of the BEST ways to meet someone for a relationship, because the person describe him/her self in a way they see themselves.... and most of the time the way they see themselves is not the way they realy are. But I still want to know your point of view. Because just like that saying "ely akbar menak be youm, e3raf akter menak be sana" "who is older than you by one day, knows more than you by a year".
Adivces and opnions are greatly appriciated,
Pray for me,
bentBABAyasooa`
Yeah im probably not the best person to answer this, but i'll answer some of them in my prospective.
"7. Is DIGNITY important between 2 couples?"
I personally think it is. It's hard to explain, though.
"8. What are the major things that are needed for a relationship to work out?"
GOD, TRUE love ( they both need to mean it!), commitment.
"6. when getting to know a person, what to you look for in them?"
Education, personality, and how close they are to God.
"4. Is the internet one of the good ways to meet that special one?"
I really dont see whats wrong with it.
"10. Do you belive a girl should propose to a guy? Or even give him hints to go ask for her hand?"
It's REAL uncommon for a girl to propose to the guy, but I think her giving hints to him isnt that bad, and possible. Sometimes the guy needs a push to know when its the right time, atleast for the girl, and whether she'll be willing or not.
Well i'm pretty sure everyone else has a totally different point of view.
well, my point of veiw for all the internet questions are noo...typing on the net and using "emotion icons" is completly different then in person. It wouldnt work out for marriage because the person would need to know the other persons personality. Which I think wouldnt be found in words, or online.
I completly see that point of view...
There has to be events that take place where you could learn more about that person by the way they handle that event/conflict.
[quote author=He Wept link=topic=5521.msg73748#msg73748 date=1183513865]
And if there are doubts, do you mean if they are married? as in thier partner?
Sorry, I should have mentioned that all of the questions relate to couples who are not yet married; however, planing to get married.
[quote author=marmara327 link=topic=5521.msg73751#msg73751 date=1183516772]
"7. Is DIGNITY important between 2 couples?"
I personally think it is. It's hard to explain, though.
First of all, Marmara327, long time no see! It is good to hear from you again.
To me, I think diginity is important because it is tied to respect. I am not saying a person should have self pride, ehna kolena welad tes3a, but diginty goes to "you have done enough to make a relationship goes, and if there is something interupting it... you shouldn't ignore your dignity and fix it.... because you have done enough already".
But wouldn't a girl proposing to a guy effect her dignity? or even giving him hints?
Let's say mary gives bob hints to ask for her hand, that is basically saying "I am ugly, I can't find any-one to marry me" but reality...there is a line of suitors waiting for a sign from the girl's father.
bentBABAyasooa`
[quote author=marmara327 link=topic=5521.msg73751#msg73751 date=1183516772]
"7. Is DIGNITY important between 2 couples?"
I personally think it is. It's hard to explain, though.
First of all, Marmara327, long time no see! It is good to hear from you again.
To me, I think diginity is important because it is tied to respect. I am not saying a person should have self pride, ehna kolena welad tes3a, but diginty goes to "you have done enough to make a relationship goes, and if there is something interupting it... you shouldn't ignore your dignity and fix it.... because you have done enough already".
But wouldn't a girl proposing to a guy effect her dignity? or even giving him hints?
Let's say mary gives bob hints to ask for her hand, that is basically saying "I am ugly, I can't find any-one to marry me" but reality...there is a line of suitors waiting for a sign from the girl's father.
bentBABAyasooa`
Yeah, i miss you. = )
I definetly agree with what youre saying, couldnt have said it better. But then again the thing with the girl giving a guy hints, i dont think its thatttt bad, atleast not as a her literally proposing. And yes, ofcourse, the girls father has to agree to every single step, just like the guy's father.
" that is basically saying "I am ugly, I can't find any-one to marry me" "
That's not true. Sometimes a guy doesn't know whether the girl is ready or not! Becuase they'd be scared of rejection! So it's just a way of letting the guy know the girl is willing, and for the most part, that she won't let him down. I think if any other guy got into this certain discussion, they might agree.
10. Do you belive a girl should propose to a guy? Or even give him hints to go ask for her hand?
well i dont think the girl should propose to the guy. and it might depend for her to give him hints. You should take your time, or at least enough time, knowing that you want this person to be your partner. i think you Could give him hints if it has been a while in the relationship.
and also, does anybody know why in the first place a GUY usually proposes, not the WOMEN or even Both??
Thats just my opinion...
I guess you guys know what im talking about, and if you do, please put it into a better phrase.
" that is basically saying "I am ugly, I can't find any-one to marry me" "
That's not true. Sometimes a guy doesn't know whether the girl is ready or not! Becuase they'd be scared of rejection! So it's just a way of letting the guy know the girl is willing, and for the most part, that she won't let him down. I think if any other guy got into this certain discussion, they might agree.
That is true; however, All of this proposing stuff has to be the guy's steps not the girl's.
Bas some girls, have already sacrified alot to the guy (not including her virginity, so dont' get me wrong) and there is a point in her view where she had enough..... and for proposing it will show to the girl .... if the guy actualy appriciates what the girl has done for him so he can make this proposing step on his own.
bentBABAyasooa`
and also, does anybody know why in the first place a GUY usually proposes, not the WOMEN or even Both??
Just Tradition basically. Also, elossol (Manners) says so. Because girls are usualy shy, and guys are not shy to talk about marriage and life...etc...
That is true; however, All of this proposing stuff has to be the guy's steps not the girl's.
Very true, but I doubt a small push would mess anything up. Once again, I agree. But then again, this leads back to what i was saying before...so I guess it's all tied up ; if not this way, then some other way.
[quote author=bentBABAyasooa` link=topic=5521.msg73746#msg73746 date=1183510736]
Hey Guys.....
I have a couple of questions, I need your opnions on them and also expirences (If you'd like to share them).
1. Can a person find love over the internet?
A. If so, Can it relate into marriage?
B. Even if you never met the person?
Well, yes to 1A, but no to 1B. You can meet someone over the Internet and get to have an idea of who they are and what their values and beliefs are, but you will, at some point, need to meet them and have a real relationship. Yes, but again, at some point it has to be in the real world and you have to get to know them in person. It is possible - but again, only as a first step. That depends on the site; some sites are not at all suitable; and obviously, one has to take great care on the Internet. I know of at least two couples where this is the case - and I suspect there are others who are shy of admitting that that is where they met. In both cases a friendship was initiated over the Net, and then they met and went on from there. Goodness me, that is a question and a half. There are so many things - but a shared sense of humour and shared values are vital; a shared religious faith is a great blessing. Without it there is no respect; so yes, it is vital. Mutual respect, tolerance, a sense of proportion and humour - and shared values. Not sure what you're asking here. If your friends have doubts, listen, but make your own mind up; if your parents have doubts, listen harder than you'd like to; they know you pretty well, and if they think it won't work, they are likely to be correct. As has been said, it is helpful for the woman to give some sign; some guys are pretty insecure and find it difficult to know whether a proposal would be welcome (yes, I know, but that is one of things women have to get used to about men - they seem pretty confident when they are with their friends, but getting some of them to talk about their emotions is like pulling teeth!).
And here endeth Uncle Anglian's stint as Agony Aunt!
In Christ,
Anglian
I like your answeres, and your opinion makes me realy think about these questions.
Because everyone sees this differently, and very rare when you find two people thinking of the same thing. Your answers and your opinions are making me believe how much i looked at this whole view wrong.
I like what you said about Dignity, because to some couples there is no such a thing as dignity, and I belive that this is wrong and that gives the other partner to step on it as much as he/she could because they know the other won't be bothered by it.
Allah yerham ayam zaman where the groom didn't even have a look at his bride untill after their wedding day.
I would still like to know what others think, because one hand by itself can't clap.
bentBABAyasooa`
Nice to hear back from you, I haven't actually posted on this website for ages really,
Regarding your questions:, Yes you can meet someone on the internet but there MUST be a step where the two meet and understand each other. What i mean by this is that they must face problems with each other and understand each other really well before any commitment. A person on the net can act different that reality, i.e a person will never show real anger on the internet, but rather can just keep quite and not reply. But again every situation is different. Interent is not bad for knowing a person as an initial start, but conituing on the internet by itself is not enough. Now regarding marriage and what to look for, well... that varies from a person to a person. But there must be a sort of same way of thinking between both, same interests, same religious level is very very important, also education and manners and all that are very important. Personally i believe that Dignity is the most important thing in a love relationship. If dignity is not there, then there is no real love between both of the couples.
Personally, I do not think that the girl should propose to the guy at ALL, this step should come from the guy, (I'm a 23 year old guy and I'm telling you that the guy must propose), the guy doesn't want hints to propose if he already knows that the girl loves him and did a lot for him.
I hope I answered your questions
God with you
What if ya baladoos a guy doesn't make that proposal move if there is a chance infront of him? what should the girl do?
bentBABAyasooa`
If he doesn't propose, or hasn't taken steps towards a proposal, it's almost certainly because he is not ready to make that level of commitment. The girl can either accept that, be patient and wait until he is ready, or, if she gets the sense that he is just playing her, dump him and move on.
Κηφᾶς hits the nail on the head.
Commitment is a difficult thing; there are times when the awesome nature of a commitment to marriage can make both parties hesitate - that is a good thing as it means they enter into it in the right spirit; but there are times when one side simply cannot bear to tell the other that they cannot commit. Then it is better to be honest; it is less cruel in the longer term - back to mutual respect really.
In Christ,
Anglian
I strongly disagree with the notion that one can find love on the internet. While it may be the case for some people, this is certainly not the norm. In fact, this is not something that should be sought after. Love is planted, nurtured and produces fruit only through dealing with a person regularly. Physical interaction is a must and this sort of interaction cannot occur behind a computer screen. To deal with a person face to face is entirely different than dealing with them behind the safety of a monitor. A person can behave a certain way in the comfort of their own house on a computer than they would behave when actually faced with another individual. Thus, I fail to see how it is possible for love to begin, grow or be maintained online. My personal opinion: the odds of a real relationship developing online are slim to none.
its better to say u met sumone online rather than at a club etc.........
where as i agree love cant be found online.........i believe friendship can.........
and from this friendship stems other opporunities........
but there needs to be a balance............
no relationship can solely be based on ONE form of communication ie.internet............
i dont believe u can ever get to know sumone 100%.........even in person
its better to say u met sumone online rather than at a club etc.........
I agree with kerestina.
Another opinion i would just like to point out is that I think whether you find love on the internet isnt based on the fact of whether that its either "right or wrong" ; i think its more of how the person feels, or if she/he's keen or just "willing to do so" to the whole idea of it.
As someone said, a couple has gotten married starting from the internet ; and it was very successful. So then again, it depends on the person.
i dont believe u can ever get to know sumone 100%.........even in person
its better to say u met sumone online rather than at a club etc.........
where as i agree love cant be found online.........i believe friendship can.........
and from this friendship stems other opporunities........
but there needs to be a balance............
no relationship can solely be based on ONE form of communication ie.internet............
What's the probability of meeting a COptic person in a Club? How do u lot expect to meet/find your Coptic Soul mate? Copts are everywhere, but are only found in Coptic Churches outside Egypt. Do u plan to meet from Church? I agree, its the most obvious place, but its not really ideal, nor romantic. You cant really talk to a girl in Church, and if you do, your reputation is either ruined or hers is. How does it happen??
I noticed that all sunday school servants got married easily in Church. That's easy for them. They organise spiritual events and get to have "1st pick" of the girls there.
I don't think there's anything wrong with it, but it is a dull way of meeting someone, and there's MORE to a person than just spirituality. Christianity is an important dimension and is central to our lives, but what about other stuff: personality, hobbies etc.
I think Kerestina's comments about balance are spot on. We get to know people through a variety of ways - and I can see that the Internet might be one.
Of course one needs to be careful on the Internet, but so does one in real life. A friend of mine was, sadly, widowed in her mid-40s, and her friends urged her to 'get out and meet' people. After a year or two she decided the time was right for that, and she met someone through work. He seemed a very nice chap, and the two of them got quite close. She thought it a bit odd that she could only even phone him on his mobile phone, but he always said that he was never at home for long enough to receive calls. It was only by accident that she discovered that he was actually married, had a wife who lived in another part of the country, and was, in fact, not the charming gentleman she had thought.
Some time later she joined an internet site, 'met' a chap through that medium and was able to have a long 'introduction' to him. Through their correspondence she discovered they had much in common, and she was even able to find out about his work and his life before she actually met him after about 3 months. They got on very well. He was a widower whose wife had died of cancer some years earlier, and the two of them got on so well that they married on his fiftieth birthday. They have been very happy ever since.
What does that prove? Nothing really, except that real life encounters can be just as dangerous as Internet ones - and that Kerestina is right to think that you need to meet in a variety of ways.
In Christ,
Anglian
To be honest, I know a couple that they met on the internet, and loved eachother, got married, and divorced 4 days after their wedding day. Because they were from two different countries, and they didn't realy sit together to get to know eachother, the ways each one do things is different than the other person. FOr example.... I like to put my sugar first then put tea, the person who i might meet online might like his tea first then sugar. This may not be a good example, but I think a person should sit down with their loved one, get to know him/her, and examine careful the way they do things... WHich is realy hard to see that behind a screen.
At the same time, I know this girl who met someone in person, and got to know him over the internet, she got to know his personality.... things about him. However, she is planning to set down with him and get to know him in person, and if he is not the person she met and fell in love with then kol wahad yeroh le halo.
Meeting/loving someone on the Internet.... I believe it has Advantages and Disadvantages, and it is up to the person to learn how to handle both at the same time, which I believe is hard.
[quote author=Κηφᾶς link=topic=5521.msg73820#msg73820 date=1183643574]
[coptic]+ Iryny nem `hmot>[/coptic]
If he doesn't propose, or hasn't taken steps towards a proposal, it's almost certainly because he is not ready to make that level of commitment. The girl can either accept that, be patient and wait until he is ready, or, if she gets the sense that he is just playing her, dump him and move on.
Well...she is giving him time, and if he doesn't use that time wisely then she will move on, and won't let him stop her.
[quote author=kerestina link=topic=5521.msg73856#msg73856 date=1183720472]
its better to say u met sumone online rather than at a club etc.........
I agree with you. I wouldn't want to marry a guy who parties all the time, and drink.
[quote author=QT_PA_2T link=topic=5521.msg73871#msg73871 date=1183734678]
I noticed that all sunday school servants got married easily in Church. That's easy for them. They organise spiritual events and get to have "1st pick" of the girls there.
I don't think there's anything wrong with it, but it is a dull way of meeting someone, and there's MORE to a person than just spirituality. Christianity is an important dimension and is central to our lives, but what about other stuff: personality, hobbies etc.
If he/she is spiritual, and his/her heart is full with god's love then he/she got everything that a girl/guy needs for a spouse.
God is love. If that person is close to god, then imagine what his/her personality will be?....
bentBABAyasooa`
Regarding your question. I will answer it very clearly with you. the guy should propose if he is taking things seriously, he has to, other wise what is the purpose of the relationship. It's the guy's task to perfrom the proposing to the girl not otherway round. There are osool here, the osool say that the guy MUST propose. I don't think that you will find a single guy that thinks that the girl must take an action and propose to him. Proposing from the guy's side is a direct proof that he loves the girl and that he has taken a full decision that this person is the right person for him.
Personally I don't believe that Internet is enough for love relationship at allllllllllllll, and this is from a past experience with me. Love is a relationship that comes thru full understading of the personalities, and you cannot say that someone can understand someone else's personality from just chatting online. There must be a sort of a physical meeting between both of the couples. Lots of people behave in a certain way behin the screen but are completely different when it comes to real life situations. I mean this is only my opinion, maybe I'm wrong, but personally I have tried before talking to people on the line and it was the biggest mistake i had in my life.
Hope I answered your questions, you can email me if you need extra explaination
Baladoos
This descion can sometime be scary! :-S
It is hard for a person that LOVED someone, and knew them for a pretty good time, and just leave them. I am sure you know what I am talking about.
It is giong to be hard for someone to see their loved after breaking up, and he/she won't even be able to say hi. :(
Bas sometimes a person has to think with their mind not with their heart and emotions, and the mind way of thinking can differ big time with the heart and emotion way of thinking.
I am sure that rabana will guide whoever is in this situation, and if god doesn't want a person to marry the one they love, then I am sure there is something better that god has in mind. Right am I????
pray for me,
bentBABAyasooa`
I realy can't make up my mind here. I am in the middle of "yeah, I agree that love can be found on the Internet" and "NO, I don't agree".
To be honest, I know a couple that they met on the internet, and loved eachother, got married, and divorced 4 days after their wedding day. Because they were from two different countries, and they didn't realy sit together to get to know eachother, the ways each one do things is different than the other person. FOr example.... I like to put my sugar first then put tea, the person who i might meet online might like his tea first then sugar. This may not be a good example, but I think a person should sit down with their loved one, get to know him/her, and examine careful the way they do things... WHich is realy hard to see that behind a screen.
Meeting/loving someone on the Internet.... I believe it has Advantages and Disadvantages, and it is up to the person to learn how to handle both at the same time, which I believe is hard.
there is no right or wrong answer here bentBABAyasooa`and there is no set way or method for meeting the one with whom you will be united with for the rest of your life.....
there are so many mediums of communication but i wudnt disregard the potential for the formation of friendship on the internet.......
what could possibly be more romantic than developing a stronger bond with a friend you have known for years.....
how ppl meet? church, youth functions, work, study, sport, any initiaves you have joined.........
meeting people at work for example or through ur study is awesome as your meeting sumone who has a similar passion to you......
from your net example mira, comes patience...... long distance relationships will not work if you dont communicate with them other than through dialogue on the internet
Anglican's first example clearly shows that at times we are blind and we need to question things and not just take them at face value....
Anglican's second example is sweet hehe.......
in closing...ladies and gentlemen.........who is the onli man on this earth who knows our future??? God of course.....so fear not the Lord will provide in due time what our hearts desire.... :)
as ppl grow older they start stressing oh dear im bla bla n still single n i figure if ur readi seek the Lord and he will provide ;) right?? of course i am
Kerestina, you are awesome!
Good points you have achieved ;)!
I think this is an iffy issue and can go either way. i also now people who met over the internet and are married now and are quite happy. but of course they had to meet in person and really get to know each other. so if the question is can you base a true relationship like an engagement or a marriage on only the internet then the answer is no. if the question is can love be started on the internet and completed by meeting each other then of course. and as usaul it all depends on the situation and the people involved.
i think jydeacon summed it up nicely....if a relationship is based solely on the internet then NO love cannot be found