I admire your honesty I really do. It is sometimes hard to adapt to changes in the environment we used to live in and that is why as a logical and natural reaction we may try to shield ourselves by being too careful about things and too careless about other things or people.
One can hardly control his/her thoughts all day long (many times a day I have weird ideas myself), that is why I'd suggest you relax from trying to be idealistic all the time (but do not "sleep"). If you leave the bad company to remain nearer to God that is not a mistake and you do not lose but rather gain support from Him. He will let you meet the good company and gradually teach you how to socially handle the others.
It is quite normal to have feelings towards others we like, just try to be practical, calmer and do not jump to hasty conclusions. Pray more (silently make often the quick arrow prayer), ask God, expect, start acting and wait for His intervention in every situation you feel stress from. God sees and feels every bit of your life situation and cares a lot about you, so He will help.
It is a great call if you have the tendency to join a monastery and become a monk but you should (actually must) eagerly struggle to first finish your studies, you will succeed with the Lord's Grace. To become a monk is not an easy decision and must be tried for a long time under guidance to make sure: no one knows what's going to happen tomorrow. Maybe you have a different mission? So, the best is to focus on your own good targets, everything and a target in its due time. Do not fear and let the Lord work with you He is so kind, He is also so powerful and has a mighty arm. He will let you finish things the right way, do not doubt that. Remember God allows things that we can bear or waits from us to ask Him to help us bear them. His Will be done.
Please remember also: because you think a lot of God He is surely very close to you. He secretly sends His Angels to fight along with you. He surely knows better what is best for you so do whatever you can, He will provide the rest.
hi ok mate i cngratualte u for ur openess and boldness to tell the truth of waht ur are suffreing. let me tell u something many people go through things like that wahts important is find stratgies and techniques to help u deal with these things. the human brain processes on average 60, 000 thoughts a day i think of these only some u are aware of others occur at say a sub concoius level which may cause u to ahve feelings having feeling causes ur body to react and and most situations perfom an action, from the action we get a result and here we must make we deal with the result in a wise not in an emotional manner which apeals to our weaker side and perhps cause us depression or something but as an important themem of learning learning to our best of ability and coming up wit a paln to solve ur problem personally now i ve spent God knowsmany and much time in persuit of perfect self control but the more ive tried i have failed. power of control of thought is a very hard virtue very closly realted to the viture of parying. it is said the most difficlut virtue to attain is prayer (i e silent prayers) why is this so. this is because in every second of our life one needs to analyse thier situation and make a DECISION a CHOICE and this is where self control comes in and why it becomes diffcult.
we all can atttain knowledge but waht diffrentiates betw a successful person and another is that both have knowledge but one has the self control to apply it in his life through wisdim while the other doesnt.
so as far as ur thoughts go please first learn develop clear goals to acheive in certain times and then try and constatnly evaluate what u are doing at what time if u find ur self wondering away from the goal (e.g. wondering away from doing maths) then come bk quickly utter a short pryer and REFOCUS. thats waht i can best offer. it is very diffcult to do this as i personally struggle with it my self. remember as bishop soreil reminds us from his sermon, qoute from the bible [glow=green,2,300]"a man without self control is like a city broken into and left without a wall"[/glow]
as far as this girl goes learn to follow ur wisdiom. u r a man it is natural to have desu=ires and thoghts but have control know and always remember what ur goals they are to be with ur GOD DOINT FORSAKE HIS SIDE AND FEEL UR SELF WITH THE CORRUPTOIN OF PASSION. i can tell ur frustrated being in the presence of this girl. just releax ok. chill. talk to her . be her firend not boyfriend up hold ur values be a man not a wuss melting under her attraction. have fun but remember walk with God not in passion. and if u cant then get up and leave stay away from her.
on being a MONK. "leave this thought alone do not have anything to do with it, doint think being a monk justifes lack of social skills etc. LEAVE THE THOUGHT OF BEING A MONK. i promise u unless u want to learn the hard way leave this thought and focus on being close to God following his commandments fulfilling sacrements achieving success concetrate more on fasting and pryer then on being a monk. trust me like u said u can coupe with a failure but fi u continue on the path of THINKING of being a monk u will hit failure terribly and terrible wars from the devil which u r not ready for. i ve been throgh that and hit failure as well and had to learn the hard way. so take my adivice.
as for rection problems listen bro just chill stop thinking so hard and letting PASSOIN lead u that why u have that . u doint realise it but at an sub concious level u are thinking sexually and ful of passion and therefore generating feeling and actoin. just do this next time that happens think about something else thnk about playing games or flying a kite lol ;D or surfing that s what i do ahah
i hope this helps and if anyone has more pointers and stuff on self control then send this way cheers
I think you think too much, like i do. You should try to do something to relax, something that helps you clear your mind... Excercise that requires concentration can do wonders :)
About the social thing.. Jesus gave us 2 top commandments, to love God and love others.. nowhere in the bible does it say you have to be successful in university. Of course, some people are successful in university and it is a part of life, but sometimes God has a different plan for us. People are much more important than your studies... You must be able to love people ! If you cannot love people then you do not love God... and remember, love is not a feeling you have towards others.. it is an action! So you cannot say, 'yes, i love others, ut i don't want to speak to them'.. The only way to develop social skills is PRACTISE!! and stop with this 'people dont enjoy my company' stuff... if you think that way about yourself, then yes, people wont enjoy your company. yu just need some confidence! Ask Jesus for it :) .
karas7 is rigt about being a monk.. if God has it planned for you it will come along when it's time.. but for now you shouldn't base your life on it..
Hello all, :) Hizz Chiild, how are you? Long time.
Well, in regard to the many thoughts that come up in our minds, I want to bring the question: Do evil spirits have some role in it? I think so. Even (especially) when we sit down to pray, many different thoughts come up in our minds. What we have to do is just make the sign of the cross and they will just disappear like that!
listen ok and really listen 1 somebody earlier said stop thinkin so much and i say that too. u spent too much energy thinkin not good occupy ur self with work and concentreate on prayer,
2 it good to look at the life of a monk traseure it and so forth but remember being a monk is not necessrily mean u r going to be united to God no no no took me 4 yrs to learn that the life of a monk is just another medium to getting closer to God it is like u are travelling to God on a road long raod can u visualise this and u look infornt and u can see afar a distant blip to God and say u are walkin well becoming a monk accoording to me is like changing from walking to takin a horse and riding to my destiny. but u must remember that the ultimate goal is to get to GOD NOT STOP AND START ADMIRING THE HORSE cause the horse on its own could lead u stray so u need to focus on GOD that distant goal not on the horse do u get me so i say wether u are married or a monk or in service u should still get to GOD in time God will teach u and show u the MEDUIM to take to get to him mean while focus on the virtues(self control) not on being a monk or its advantages or whatever that 'll come in its time
as for this girl u live a life of a diffrent world when u combine it with spiritually so keep those things to ur self i know waht i mean i go through waht u have disscussed just try ur best to being normal and be very firm in ur boundaries ie talk to this person have fun and stuff doint move to dating if she does, tell her where u stand and what u got to offer run away from sexual talk or thought if u fall then pray the prayer of repentence and keep going remember ur best saint and get his help :)
now about that girl.. do you think being happy to see her is a bad emotional attachment or related to romanticism?
its ok to be happy but be happy u got good company which later way later could prove to be something more but for now friends long time good friends ok doint trod of on the road of passion and desire ok keep the romanticism a low key ok.
btw when I asked a question to a guy "what did you eat for breakfast?" he said noone asks that question.. I expect him to say this for other personal things too.. are many people like that? if that is the case I think JESUS Is very wrong to force us to have dry relationships with people .. and I fear those who I am not close to.. I can not work with them..
doint stress about it ok just chill work on ur body languages get some books out read them and stuff and please not all people are like that
well gotta run go a lecture to go to hope that helped
[quote author=mikeforjesus link=topic=5625.msg75119#msg75119 date=1186318384] University is important to be a monk or get married and because I have to do something I like with my life. I have to use my talents.. It is important for I will have something to do to keep me busy and not be lazy... it can help drive away bad thoughts too..
University is a part of life, part of God's plan for us... if you think that you're talent is in education, etc. then go for it... i never disagreed with any of that.. what i said was that people are more important.. You must not make your life revolve around university.. that can lead you into all sorts of traps.. if your life is about university today, then your life will be about your job tommorrow.. and soon after it will be about the money you get from that job, etc. do you get my drift? It's all about priorities... for any christian, God comes first, other people come second and then everything else.. That's what God told us to do.. it's His commandment!
Now, the social stuff.. I think the reason you believe you have an unsuccessful social life is because you've got the wrong motives. I might be wrong, but when I read what you've written it seems you want to make friends so YOU could have friends.. not so others could have a friend.. now Love means you do things for other people.. that does include prayer, but you must also try to physically interact with others so you can help them when possible. And i dont mean you should go help a poor person on the street.. the governement can do that.. I'm saying you should help that guy that seems like he's the happiest person on Earth.. they're almost always the saddest. Sorry this might not be clear so if you don't understand please ask..
About the girl.. just be yourself.. if you really run out of conversation, ask her what she did in her day.. try not complicate things, sometimes our mind can magnify tiny obsacles.
[quote author=mikeforjesus link=topic=5625.msg75119#msg75119 date=1186318384] if that is the case I think JESUS Is very wrong to force us to have dry relationships with people i don't understand what you meant there... could you please explain ?
Comments
I admire your honesty I really do. It is sometimes hard to adapt to changes in the environment we used to live in and that is why as a logical and natural reaction we may try to shield ourselves by being too careful about things and too careless about other things or people.
One can hardly control his/her thoughts all day long (many times a day I have weird ideas myself), that is why I'd suggest you relax from trying to be idealistic all the time (but do not "sleep"). If you leave the bad company to remain nearer to God that is not a mistake and you do not lose but rather gain support from Him. He will let you meet the good company and gradually teach you how to socially handle the others.
It is quite normal to have feelings towards others we like, just try to be practical, calmer and do not jump to hasty conclusions. Pray more (silently make often the quick arrow prayer), ask God, expect, start acting and wait for His intervention in every situation you feel stress from. God sees and feels every bit of your life situation and cares a lot about you, so He will help.
It is a great call if you have the tendency to join a monastery and become a monk but you should (actually must) eagerly struggle to first finish your studies, you will succeed with the Lord's Grace. To become a monk is not an easy decision and must be tried for a long time under guidance to make sure: no one knows what's going to happen tomorrow. Maybe you have a different mission? So, the best is to focus on your own good targets, everything and a target in its due time. Do not fear and let the Lord work with you He is so kind, He is also so powerful and has a mighty arm. He will let you finish things the right way, do not doubt that. Remember God allows things that we can bear or waits from us to ask Him to help us bear them. His Will be done.
Please remember also: because you think a lot of God He is surely very close to you. He secretly sends His Angels to fight along with you. He surely knows better what is best for you so do whatever you can, He will provide the rest.
GBU
God Bless you!
ok mate i cngratualte u for ur openess and boldness to tell the truth of waht ur are suffreing. let me tell u something many people go through things like that wahts important is find stratgies and techniques to help u deal with these things. the human brain processes on average 60, 000 thoughts a day i think of these only some u are aware of others occur at say a sub concoius level which may cause u to ahve feelings having feeling causes ur body to react and and most situations perfom an action,
from the action we get a result and here we must make we deal with the result in a wise not in an emotional manner which apeals to our weaker side and perhps cause us depression or something but as an important themem of learning learning to our best of ability and coming up wit a paln to solve ur problem
personally now i ve spent God knowsmany and much time in persuit of perfect self control but the more ive tried i have failed. power of control of thought is a very hard virtue very closly realted to the viture of parying. it is said the most difficlut virtue to attain is prayer (i e silent prayers) why is this so. this is because in every second of our life one needs to analyse thier situation and make a DECISION a CHOICE and this is where self control comes in and why it becomes diffcult.
we all can atttain knowledge but waht diffrentiates betw a successful person and another is that both have knowledge but one has the self control to apply it in his life through wisdim while the other doesnt.
so as far as ur thoughts go please first learn develop clear goals to acheive in certain times and then try and constatnly evaluate what u are doing at what time if u find ur self wondering away from the goal (e.g. wondering away from doing maths) then come bk quickly utter a short pryer and REFOCUS. thats waht i can best offer. it is very diffcult to do this as i personally struggle with it my self.
remember as bishop soreil reminds us from his sermon, qoute from the bible
[glow=green,2,300]"a man without self control is like a city broken into and left without a wall"[/glow]
as far as this girl goes learn to follow ur wisdiom. u r a man it is natural to have desu=ires and thoghts but have control know and always remember what ur goals they are to be with ur GOD DOINT FORSAKE HIS SIDE AND FEEL UR SELF WITH THE CORRUPTOIN OF PASSION.
i can tell ur frustrated being in the presence of this girl. just releax ok. chill. talk to her . be her firend not boyfriend up hold ur values be a man not a wuss melting under her attraction. have fun but remember walk with God not in passion. and if u cant then get up and leave stay away from her.
on being a MONK. "leave this thought alone do not have anything to do with it, doint think being a monk justifes lack of social skills etc. LEAVE THE THOUGHT OF BEING A MONK. i promise u unless u want to learn the hard way leave this thought and focus on being close to God following his commandments fulfilling sacrements achieving success concetrate more on fasting and pryer then on being a monk. trust me like u said u can coupe with a failure but fi u continue on the path of THINKING of being a monk u will hit failure terribly and terrible wars from the devil which u r not ready for. i ve been throgh that and hit failure as well and had to learn the hard way. so take my adivice.
as for rection problems listen bro just chill stop thinking so hard and letting PASSOIN lead u that why u have that . u doint realise it but at an sub concious level u are thinking sexually and ful of passion and therefore generating feeling and actoin. just do this next time that happens think about something else thnk about playing games or flying a kite lol ;D or surfing that s what i do ahah
i hope this helps and if anyone has more pointers and stuff on self control then send this way cheers
You should try to do something to relax, something that helps you clear your mind... Excercise that requires concentration can do wonders :)
About the social thing.. Jesus gave us 2 top commandments, to love God and love others.. nowhere in the bible does it say you have to be successful in university. Of course, some people are successful in university and it is a part of life, but sometimes God has a different plan for us. People are much more important than your studies... You must be able to love people ! If you cannot love people then you do not love God... and remember, love is not a feeling you have towards others.. it is an action! So you cannot say, 'yes, i love others, ut i don't want to speak to them'.. The only way to develop social skills is PRACTISE!! and stop with this 'people dont enjoy my company' stuff... if you think that way about yourself, then yes, people wont enjoy your company. yu just need some confidence! Ask Jesus for it :) .
karas7 is rigt about being a monk.. if God has it planned for you it will come along when it's time.. but for now you shouldn't base your life on it..
Well, in regard to the many thoughts that come up in our minds, I want to bring the question: Do evil spirits have some role in it? I think so. Even (especially) when we sit down to pray, many different thoughts come up in our minds. What we have to do is just make the sign of the cross and they will just disappear like that!
God bless all.
1
somebody earlier said stop thinkin so much and i say that too. u spent too much energy thinkin not good occupy ur self with work and concentreate on prayer,
2
it good to look at the life of a monk traseure it and so forth but remember being a monk is not necessrily mean u r going to be united to God no no no
took me 4 yrs to learn that the life of a monk is just another medium to getting closer to God it is like u are travelling to God on a road long raod can u visualise this and u look infornt and u can see afar a distant blip to God and say u are walkin well becoming a monk accoording to me is like changing from walking to takin a horse and riding to my destiny. but u must remember that the ultimate goal is to get to GOD NOT STOP AND START ADMIRING THE HORSE cause the horse on its own could lead u stray so u need to focus on GOD that distant goal not on the horse do u get me
so i say wether u are married or a monk or in service u should still get to GOD in time God will teach u and show u the MEDUIM to take to get to him mean while focus on the virtues(self control) not on being a monk or its advantages or whatever that 'll come in its time
as for this girl u live a life of a diffrent world when u combine it with spiritually so keep those things to ur self i know waht i mean i go through waht u have disscussed just try ur best to being normal and be very firm in ur boundaries
ie
talk to this person have fun and stuff doint move to dating if she does, tell her where u stand and what u got to offer run away from sexual talk or thought if u fall then pray the prayer of repentence and keep going remember ur best saint and get his help :)
its ok to be happy but be happy u got good company which later way later could prove to be something more but for now friends long time good friends ok doint trod of on the road of passion and desire ok keep the romanticism a low key ok. doint stress about it ok just chill work on ur body languages get some books out read them and stuff and please not all people are like that
well gotta run go a lecture to go to hope that helped
University is important to be a monk or get married and because I have to do something I like with my life. I have to use my talents.. It is important for I will have something to do to keep me busy and not be lazy... it can help drive away bad thoughts too..
University is a part of life, part of God's plan for us... if you think that you're talent is in education, etc. then go for it... i never disagreed with any of that.. what i said was that people are more important.. You must not make your life revolve around university.. that can lead you into all sorts of traps.. if your life is about university today, then your life will be about your job tommorrow.. and soon after it will be about the money you get from that job, etc. do you get my drift? It's all about priorities... for any christian, God comes first, other people come second and then everything else.. That's what God told us to do.. it's His commandment!
Now, the social stuff.. I think the reason you believe you have an unsuccessful social life is because you've got the wrong motives. I might be wrong, but when I read what you've written it seems you want to make friends so YOU could have friends.. not so others could have a friend.. now Love means you do things for other people.. that does include prayer, but you must also try to physically interact with others so you can help them when possible. And i dont mean you should go help a poor person on the street.. the governement can do that.. I'm saying you should help that guy that seems like he's the happiest person on Earth.. they're almost always the saddest. Sorry this might not be clear so if you don't understand please ask..
About the girl.. just be yourself.. if you really run out of conversation, ask her what she did in her day.. try not complicate things, sometimes our mind can magnify tiny obsacles.
[quote author=mikeforjesus link=topic=5625.msg75119#msg75119 date=1186318384] if that is the case I think JESUS Is very wrong to force us to have dry relationships with people
i don't understand what you meant there... could you please explain ?