i feel so stressed

bigeee

as you all may know by now i am trying very hard to convert and i am not trying to make any excuess or nothing but the church i go to its in a highly populated muslim area in jersey city well latley i have been slacking off alittle bit but we all mess up were all humans and yes i do pray to god and as a former muslin as i like to call myself even though i am not christin yet i do not here the end of it about myself converting an it is getting very stressfull its like a buring fire in me i am angry because i am not fullfilling god to the fullest i want to be baptised yet all i do is sin and offer him my sin no human is perfect i try my hardest.and yes i know there has been muslims who have converted to christanty but  converted back to islam but shuldent abona look at every case different.i mean i know this is no joke it is a very serouis situatioon.but abona says he needs to see a sign that i am ready..i try my very hardest i pray i read the bible i do what aona tells me to do what else can i do i have tried my guts out and it is gettin frustrating.its only human nature for me to be frustarted i just want to experance the great feeling of being baptised being a part of gods flesh..i have no idea what to do as of right now i am spechless and very tired.i am sorry for writing so long but i need help what can i do.abona tells me he needs to see a sign.also if sum muslim sees me going or coming out of church it will be a big problem and there aready speaking out of rumors.just that they have not seein it by the eye yet oh what can i do thank all of you god bless all of you

micmek

Rabena  Ma3ak (God be with you)
All I can say is, God has a purpose for everything and HE wants you and abouna to wait for some reason.

I'm sure you will look back on this and thank God for HIS wisdom which we can not see at the moment.

This reminds me of the spiritual song In His Time
In His Time

Ecclesiastes 3:11
"He hath made every thing beautiful in his time"

In His time, in His time,
He makes all thing beautiful in His time.
Lord, my life to You I bring,
May each song I have to sing,
Be to You a lovely thing, in Your time.

In Your time, in Your time,
You make all thing beautiful in Your time.
Lord, my life to You I bring,
May each song I have to sing,
Be to You a lovely thing, in Your time.

I hope this comforts you
God Bless

mgirgis88

Hey, I also think you should wait it out...and remeber God does have a reason for everything...just try to follow in his will and he will surely guide you and will lead you in the right way...just keep praying and asking God for direction, and he will bless you. Keep in touch with abouna, as he will defenetly know when you are ready. I understand that this is a stressful time, but please just hang in there, and keep praying with a full and honest heart of love for God. God bless you.....just hang in there.

mikeforjesus

God make sure you find Him

Peace

gregorytheSinner

Well as Abouna said he needs a sign to see that you are ready.  So you should take this time to take your frustrations out by prayer and at the same time, slow down so no problems occur concerning the rumors taht are going around.  Although you want to badly you have to wait a little longer on  Baptizim because nothing worth having comes easy. 
Don't forget that God is a God of Love and Understanding.  He doesn't expect you to be perfect from day one.
I dont know if you ever heard of St. Moses the Strong, but he was a theif, rapist, and murderer, however he found God and reach such spirtual levels taht are unattainable by most men. 
Don't worry about time, it'll come through readiness, taht you will feel yourself. 
God Bless and Im' sure your in the prayers of many.