Hi ,
I am a fijian coptic and i would say age 4 in my sipiritual work in an orthodox chruch ....and i have been informed by my priest that is not good to marry nor date a non coptic guy if so then you will be exmpetd from the Holy sarcraments.
So i dont have enough boys nor teens in my church , seems to be full of gals so how can i date a guy who is not from my church and if he is not willing how would i do that seems to me it will be hard since coptic church is new to my home country
I need advise bacause i am dating a non orthodox person
ranadi
Comments
Hi ,
I am a fijian coptic and i would say age 4 in my sipiritual work in an orthodox chruch ....and i have been informed by my priest that is not good to marry nor date a non coptic guy if so then you will be exmpetd from the Holy sarcraments.
So i dont have enough boys nor teens in my church , seems to be full of gals so how can i date a guy who is not from my church and if he is not willing how would i do that seems to me it will be hard since coptic church is new to my home country
I need advise bacause i am dating a non orthodox person
ranadi
first, it's great to hear about copts in fiji,
Now let's talk about what's OK. dating is OK...but it lead to marriage which is NOT alowed and wrong. because by so there is no way out of this sacrament. The only thing you can do is if you find the true person who you would marry forever, respect you, loves...etc....they will maybe convert and be baptised as copts to than marry you.
now being exmpetd from the Holy sarcraments is not something easy for priests to do but they do becasue there is a limit for everything.
meeting with abouna you may discover things you didn't know about your boyfriend. Then after that, you need to go to abouna again without your boyfriend, and see what your abouna thinks of him. And also make sure you ask him if he thinks he's a good possibility of a future spouse.
PK
no its nt ok cuz dating leads to marriage
Yeah on most occasions otherwise it will be known as socialising with someone of the opposite gender. If it is just socialising like friends and stuff then it will be acceptable however dates and going outwith someone most commonly leads to marriage.
+ I am sure in the mean time u will find a good coptic guy that you will marry. Leave everything up to God but NEVER give your faith up to marry someone.
they told us in our Youth Convention... dating is NOT okay...
Yes this is correct. It is because of our customs and our traditions. In our traditions if you want to marry someone, you know more about them by talking to them, officially visiting them and their parents. That is our customs. The next step is engagement. After it is marriage and their unity with you through the holy spirit.
+ You see dating acts as engagement. While some copts abroad think it is ok the fathers of the church and copts in egypt and that area think that it is not ok at all.
+ We really need to separate between dating and friends who are just hanging around. If you are talking about having a friend that you might go to the cinema with, then to certain it is ok. But not dating. Again it is ok if you go to the cinema with someone who you want to meet and know more about befor engagement.
+ Again there is a difference between dating and engagement. If you are engaged then it is official and you basically go to places to gather and do stuff together. Trust me dating can (rarely) lead to temptation, fornications and all other sexual offenses.
+ When you asked your priest did he say it is ok to date a coptic guy? I am sure he didn't but he might have said to befriend or to marry a coptic guy.
Sorry if I have a strong view one this point and please correct me if I have missed anything out.
Pray for me
So i dont have enough boys nor teens in my church , seems to be full of gals so how can i date a guy who is not from my church and if he is not willing how would i do that seems to me it will be hard since coptic church is new to my home country
I need advise bacause i am dating a non orthodox person
ranadi
This is the way my Father of Confession explained it.
No matter where you are or how far you live from a Church or anything. If God wants you to get married He will send you the person right to you. You wont have to look far.
As for the advise on dating a non orthodox, i believe the best person to listen to is you FOC, believe me when i say i know its hard. But listen to him and you'll be fine. God will take care of you.
I Hope this helped.
Pray for me a sinner
May the Prayers of Pope Kyrollos be with us all Amen
Glory be to Our GOD Amen!
Right I am really confused here. Every priest I know has said that dating is wrong. Any help and clarifications?
The whole concept of dating, and what people do when they date others makes no sense and is wrong. But there is such thing as genuine and clean dating. The problem is, most people start dating becuase they like someone, and don't think about committment in the form of marriage...so they go from one relationship to another, just to satisfy their lust for sexual stuff, attention, etc. That's probably why most priests tell you that dating is wrong, becuase it doens't lead you anywhere and most young people who do it don't do it in the interest of getting married.
his Second Epistle to the Corinthians he writes, “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?” (2 Cor. 6:14). The communion of marriage is worthy of being kept within the sphere of the Lord Christ.
The teaching of Saint Paul in this subject can be summarized in two points:
First: He commands that there is no communal sacramental life between believers and unbelievers.
Second: He permits for a marriage that had occurred prior to the acceptance of faith to continue, even if for a while, without receiving an ecclesiastical sacramental feature that cannot be annulled.
The 2nd Epistle of Saint Paul the Apostle to the Corinthians beginning at verse fourteen of Chapter six and ending at verse one of chapter seven states the following: “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever? And what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For you are the temple of the living God. As God has said: I will dwell in them And walk among them. I will be their God, And they shall be My people. Therefore Come out from among them And be separate, says the Lord. Do not touch what is unclean, And I will receive you. I will be a Father to you, And you shall be My sons and daughters, Says the LORD Almighty. Therefore, having these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God.” (2 Cor. 6:14-7:1).
We can clearly observe in the above mentioned passage that Saint Paul prohibits a believer as being the temple of the living God, from being joined to an unbeliever as one flesh and one temple. Here we highlight the following:
(1 Cor. 6:16) “Or do you not know that he who is joined to a harlot is one body with her? For “the two”, He says, “shall become one flesh”.
(1 Cor. 6:17) “But he who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with Him”.
(1 Cor. 6:19) “Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own”.
He who is joined to a harlot is one body with her…! So is the man who marries an unbelieving woman. How could the temple of God be one with the temple of idols? Does this conform to the will of God? The Lord Christ said, “What God has joined together let not man separate” (Mat. 19:6), concerning the holy Christian marriage.
It is obvious that Saint Paul the Apostle prohibits inter-marriages to unbelievers. This is emphasized in his saying, “A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. But she is happier if she remains as she is, according to my judgment- and I think I also have the Spirit of God.” (1 Cor. 7:39-40).
Here he emphasises that those who are not in marital ties, and are free, can marry whomever they wish. This liberty revolves within a limited boundary, namely: marriage only in Christ. He mentioned this fact obligatorily because he said, “she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes” and did not stop at this phrase, or else he would have opened the door wide for a marriage to whoever she chooses among humanity. Hence he re-established the boundary “…only in the Lord”. His words relating to her liberty are from another angle: i.e. she would not be called an adulteress if she married another man after the death of her husband.
In (Rom. 7:1-5) “Or do you not know, brethren (for I speak to those who know the law), that the law has dominion over a man as long as he lives? For the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives. But if the husband dies, she is released from the law of her husband. So then if, while her husband lives, she marries another man, she will be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from that law, so that she is no adulteress, though she has married another man. Therefore, my brethren, you also have become dead to the law through the body of Christ, that you may be married to another— to Him who was raised from the dead, that we should bear fruit to God. For when we were in the flesh, the sinful passions which were aroused by the law were at work in our members to bear fruit to death.”