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Confession Protocol
Hey I'm relativly new to the sacrament of confession of repentance in that I haven't done it very often and don't have much experience. Could someone please inform me on the protocol of confession, I mean the practical things such as what do we say first and how do we talk to the priest (I mean are there any specific words like in the catholic church?) and when we're finished do we ask for absolvance or does the priest always give it to us automatically and if we don't ask, does he still give it? And when we start talking to the FOC should we mention first: Hi, I want to confess... or is it obvious?
Please someone help, I've recently started confessing on the phone and I'm afraid that I might not be saying what I should be saying or that I'm being unpolite or disrespectful for speaking in a certain way...
Please pray for me and God Bless
Please someone help, I've recently started confessing on the phone and I'm afraid that I might not be saying what I should be saying or that I'm being unpolite or disrespectful for speaking in a certain way...
Please pray for me and God Bless
Comments
I would say:
1. first read the "Prayer before Confession" before confession (it is found at the back of the Agpeya) then after you are done you read "the Prayer after Confession"....
2. I beleive you are supposed to talk normally to the priest and just "spill it out" kind of thing..... as you are confessing the devil will always try to stop you... he will try to distract you and make you feel bad and ashamed from telling these sins to Abouna..... just ignore that feeling and just spill it out to Abouna, and don't worry, Abouna has heard it ALL before, you won't say anything to Him that is new to Him...
3. When you are done, Abouna automaticaly gives you the Absolution, i don't think you have to ask for it....
4. When you want to confess just tell Abouna (your FoC) privatly and quietly: Abouna, can i confess today? or Abouna , i want to Confess..... i don't think there is a special way to ask Abouna for Confession....
PLEASE DON'T LISTEN TO WHAT I AM SAYING UNTIL IT IS AGREED WITH BY AT LEAST 1 OR 2 MORE PEOPLE... I DON'T WANT TO BE GIVING YOU FALSE INFORMATION......
PLEASE CORRECT ME IF I AM WRONG..... for my good.... do then i will know it properly too....
and the feeling of being ashamed is good, it means you are truly sorry and ull remember this feeling the next time u come to commit the sin.
Pray for me and my weakness
God Bless
1) Take 10 mins to gather your thoughts... remember your sins, try and feel remorse for them, contemplate that every time you sin you are taking Christ's suffering on the cross for granted... think of how every sin is like a nail in his Holy Body, every sin another thron in his Holy Head.
2) Go talk to Abouna - just approach and say "Abouna, can I please confess." He will lead you to a quiet or isolated place. The confession will begin with Our Father.
3) Tell your sins to Abouna - hold nothing back on purpose, and ask his advice e.g. "Abouna I lied, how can I avoid this?" He will give you the benefit of his knowledge and spirituality and give you exercises to do, to aid you in overcoming that sin. If you feel shy, or embarrased, that is natural and a good thing - it shows that your conscience is active, and that you realise that your sins are something shameful. I find that a good way is to think like this: would you rather confess in front of God alone through Abouna who both love you and want you to improve and to inherit the eternal life? Or would you rather you didn't confess, and have the whole of creation, both dead, alive and those who are not yet born hearing of them...?
4) Abouna will give you the Absolution. You leave with a blessing and a sense of inner peace - as if a weight has been carried off your shoulders - Christ taking your sin from you.
5) Everytime you fall be sure to immediately go to confess... remember the Prodigal Son: "I will return now..."
pray for me
joe
God bless all of you..
So if I understand it correctly I should just say in the beginning Hi, Abouna, I want to confess.. and then just talk
There aren't any specific things I HAVE to say, I mean something like what they say in the catholic church.. Forgive me father for I have sinned..
And also I don't have to ask for Absolution at the end, because sometimes I hear people saying to a priest : 7allelni
But anyways thx so much
pray for me
joe
Hey I'm relativly new to the sacrament of confession of repentance in that I haven't done it very often and don't have much experience. Could someone please inform me on the protocol of confession, I mean the practical things such as what do we say first and how do we talk to the priest (I mean are there any specific words like in the catholic church?) and when we're finished do we ask for absolvance or does the priest always give it to us automatically and if we don't ask, does he still give it? And when we start talking to the FOC should we mention first: Hi, I want to confess... or is it obvious?
Please someone help, I've recently started confessing on the phone and I'm afraid that I might not be saying what I should be saying or that I'm being unpolite or disrespectful for speaking in a certain way...
Please pray for me and God Bless
Hi,
Im a professional in confessing. I write notes and spend quiet time alone and think about what bad things I let in my heart. Then I go to abouna and tell him :"Abouna, I sinned..." +"<I mention the sin>". Then I go through the list, then I leave very happy.
I get a bit mad with the priest if he just falls asleep, or does'nt pay attention.. some priest looked very unenthusiastic about my confession, and I can tell u, we never used his services again. So, find a priest who at least looks like he's paying attention to what your saying. I try to make what I'm saying interesting for abouna... i'm not sure if he appreciates the effort i put into the confession, but if he's gonna fall asleep or just say "Erfa3a albak... erfa3aa alback... " everytime I talk... I'll get very upset.
Also, there was a time when I used to confess and pay attention the reaction on abouna's face... u know.. to see how he'd respond.. like sort of surprise him.. but.. I don't advise that now. Its best you just get out what u want to say, and just leave it that.
I noticed that Joe recommends that you ask abouna for advice concerning your weakness. Well.. You CoULD... and you should have an FoC that SHOULD advise you, but the person you confess to doesn't necessarily HAVE to be your FoC. Its PREFERABLE... but, an FoC is also a spiritual advisor. Now, my spiritual advisor does happen to be the priest i confess to, but if its not, i prefer to confess to ANY priest and then just seek guidance afterwards from my FoC.
Also, I STRONGLY advise u to avoid priests that judge u. I mean. If I start by saying :"I sinned" and I feel bad for my sins, the LAST thing I need is a priest to tell me how cheap I am.
Listen, its between u and God. Just write a list down and confess.
Now, here's the real knowledge my friend.. No one else would tell u this UNLESS they are from Shoubra:
Pay attention.
BEFORE YOU CONFESS... Pray a bit from the agpeya, and then: READ THE FIRST 5 CHAPTERS OF MATTHEW. OK? Just read it. And then confess. OK?
Good luck.. tell me how it goes.
Thanks again for all your advice and God Bless
Thanks QT I really appreciate it. I also worry about boring abouna, especially my FOC whom I know is very busy. And since I don't have much experience, I always wonder whether I'm talking too much or not. But you know sometimes you just need to describe a situation that you were in when you sinned or something and this might take longer. But this time I've made a list and hopefully this will do the trick.
Thanks again for all your advice and God Bless
Yeah, I had that problem too.
I realised by starting off with the most interesting sins 1st grabs his attention. Then he's fixed. WHen he's fixed, he wants to know the rest of the story. Most people leave the best for last... but I don't think that makes good confession-time... no no.. Its best to leave a BIT of a teaser at the end, but get the attention from the beginning.
Man, the worst thing is to bore abouna.. i did that once and he got really upset. He just wanted to go to the conclusion straight away. Its not fair, cos when u watch a movie, u don't just go right until the end to see who killed who.. u let the director show you what's happening, the reason why people do things etc...
I went to confession once, and this priest just starred at me. I looked at him, and then I said :"Look! shouldn't u do the sign of the cross 1st". That bugs me...
I hate it when u confess and no one does the sign of the cross... and then I found myself leading abouna during the confession. That was good. It means u set the pace for things. You let him know from day one who's running the show. Its you that calls the shots. But if you started to confess and he stopped u and said :"Aye, wait up , wait up, eh dah!? eh dah??? let's do the sign of the cross 1st my son before we start"; then u know that no matter WHAT u confess, whatever u say, he will always hate u, or think that u have no manners.
Also, find someone who is a good spiritual advisor.
I had a friend of mine that went to confess to a catholic priest. He said :"Father, I really like women a lot". The priest told him :"Well.. at least you're not gay". Now, that's a good spiritual advisor.
Good luck.
Hi,
Im a professional in confessing. I write notes and spend quiet time alone and think about what bad things I let in my heart. Then I go to abouna and tell him :"Abouna, I sinned..." +"<I mention the sin>". Then I go through the list, then I leave very happy.
I get a bit mad with the priest if he just falls asleep, or does'nt pay attention.. some priest looked very unenthusiastic about my confession, and I can tell u, we never used his services again. So, find a priest who at least looks like he's paying attention to what your saying. I try to make what I'm saying interesting for abouna... i'm not sure if he appreciates the effort i put into the confession, but if he's gonna fall asleep or just say "Erfa3a albak... erfa3aa alback... " everytime I talk... I'll get very upset.
Also, there was a time when I used to confess and pay attention the reaction on abouna's face... u know.. to see how he'd respond.. like sort of surprise him.. but.. I don't advise that now. Its best you just get out what u want to say, and just leave it that.
I noticed that Joe recommends that you ask abouna for advice concerning your weakness. Well.. You CoULD... and you should have an FoC that SHOULD advise you, but the person you confess to doesn't necessarily HAVE to be your FoC. Its PREFERABLE... but, an FoC is also a spiritual advisor. Now, my spiritual advisor does happen to be the priest i confess to, but if its not, i prefer to confess to ANY priest and then just seek guidance afterwards from my FoC.
Also, I STRONGLY advise u to avoid priests that judge u. I mean. If I start by saying :"I sinned" and I feel bad for my sins, the LAST thing I need is a priest to tell me how cheap I am.
Listen, its between u and God. Just write a list down and confess.
Now, here's the real knowledge my friend.. No one else would tell u this UNLESS they are from Shoubra:
Pay attention.
BEFORE YOU CONFESS... Pray a bit from the agpeya, and then: READ THE FIRST 5 CHAPTERS OF MATTHEW. OK? Just read it. And then confess. OK?
Good luck.. tell me how it goes.
WOW .. QT.. u keep on surprising me.... what is with you and Priests????????? it sounds to me like you don't like a lot of preists..... and Priests aren't suposed to judge you.... and if they look bored or whatever, it shouldn't matter.... Abouna Yostos, The Silent Monk, barley listened to anybody while they confessed and He gave them Absoultion... He didn't look too interested in other people's sin.. (from what i have seen in the movie.)
and some priests have it their way, you shouldn't tell them, lets do this, or that... out of respect for them.....
And you make Confession soud like an action movie..... it isn't supposed to be the thrill you make it sound like... is it????? aren't you just supposed to go in, feeling sorry for your sins, then coming out with a sence of peace.... ??
I dunno, but what you said sounds a little bit weired....
(**by the way, if the priest is not interested, and dozes off or something, it is for your own good, ,sometimes, at least that way He won't judge you)
If you ignore pretty much everything QT said, or do the opposite, you should be okay and on the right track.
OK.. perhaps. But i think reading Matthew chapter 5 is essential before confession.
WOW .. QT.. u keep on surprising me.... what is with you and Priests????????? it sounds to me like you don't like a lot of preists..... and Priests aren't suposed to judge you....
Yeah, I know... not all priests are bad. But then, i guess I experienced some bad stuff from the Men in Black.
If you ignore pretty much everything QT said, or do the opposite, you should be okay and on the right track.
GREAT ADVICE.... no offence Vas.
Thanks QT I really appreciate it. I also worry about boring abouna, especially my FOC whom I know is very busy.
No such thing as "BORING" Abouna.... It is His job to take confession.... that is part of the job... even if He is busy, He HAS TO MAKE time for you.... I can almost garentee you, nothing He gets busy with, is as important as you taking confession... no matter what He gets busy with is as important as your ETERNAL LIFE...
and some priests have it their way, you shouldn't tell them, lets do this, or that... out of respect for them.....
I really disagree here. Asking a priest to start by doing the sign of the cross is OK. U ask with respect of course!!
There's absolutely nothing wrong with that. In fact, if u watch CTV, a priest was saying how he appreciated a young kid telling him the same thing.
Now, I admit that there are some cases where I feel sad if abouna doesn't listen to me or falls asleep. Maybe he's just pretending to fall asleep so he doesn't embarrass me, but I don't think that's good either. I think SOME embarrassment would be ok.
There's a difference between feeling embarrassed and feeling judged. What can I say if a priest judges me? That hasnt happened to u, fair enough.
As for advice on confessing, I cannot stress the importance of reading Mathew before confession.
You are correct when u say that Abouna has to spend time with u during confession. Its his job. But You obviously know good priests. The priests I know, some of them are so careless. I remember I travelled 350 miles to confess to a priest and attend mass, and this priest just said to me: "I don't know u, and I don't have time to take confessions". And that's the same priest that doesn't want his flock to go to another Church.
But.. that's another issue.
I cannot judge the priest either whether they are bored or not.. but.. there was one that just kept telling me :"Erfa3a alback...erfa3aa alback...aaaaahhhhh Erfa3a alback". I'd say 'OK. thanks.. i'll try".. and then he'd just groan and say "ahhh.. erfa3aa alback". So, I tried to make the confessions interesting so he wouldnt talk nonsense during confession, and at least concentrate on what I was telling him.
Sorry guys, look - u obviously seem to have some good priests where u go to... but.. for me, during confession - i DONT CARE if a priest is bad or good person. That's none of my business. But I care that at LEAST he's gonna pay attention to what I'm saying.
Look at this: I made an appointment with a priest to confess. He said to me :"Wait for me the alter". I waited , I waited, I waited, (for more than 40 mins)... and then he didnt even come. He just went home. That's the priest that always used to tell me :"Erfa3aa alback, Erfa3a alback"...
The ONLY positive thing I can advise u on, because I cannot guarantee that u will have a good priest or not who respects confession, is to read Mathew chapter 5 before confessing. that's it.
pray for me
joe
I like the bit-of-Shoubra advice - yeah reading the agpeya and Matthew 1-5 seems a good idea.
pray for me
joe
Hi Joe,
Did u know about Mat. chapters 1 to 5?? Its well known amongst the sunday school movement in Shoubra that you should read this before confession. (I mean, 2 or 3 hours AT LEAST before going to confess).
look, Vas. there must be a deeper meaning to what the Preist is trying to convey to you, when He sias Erfa3 'Albak, that might be the solution to everything..... did you actually try it?? and maybe that is what He is doing... during confession, He has His heart with the Lord... and just trying to get you to do the same....
and "Kol al 'ashia' ta3mal ma3an lil kheir lelazeen yoheboun 'al Alla" know, if you truly love God, than there must be a meaning to all wha is happening to you....
QT_PA_2T, I was curious were you heard the stuff about people from Shoubra being real Orthodox. It's just that you wrote some pretty interesting stuff.
What was interesting, about Saint Mathew?? Yes.. u should really read Chapter 5 of St. Mathew Before you wish to confess:
Look (ITS WELL KNOWN.. everyone from SHoubra knows this!!! I am really surprised that this is new to many people - Honestly!!!)
Let's break down St. Mathew:
a) We have the beatitidues etc:
3"Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
b) We have how we responded to persecution, did we take it as a blessing or not?
11"Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.
[c] you are the salt & light
13"You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men.
14"You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. 15Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. 16In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.
The Fulfillment of the Law
17"Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. 18I tell you the truth, until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke of a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished. 19Anyone who breaks one of the least of these commandments and teaches others to do the same will be called least in the kingdom of heaven, but whoever practices and teaches these commands will be called great in the kingdom of heaven. 20For I tell you that unless your righteousness surpasses that of the Pharisees and the teachers of the law, you will certainly not enter the kingdom of heaven.
Murder
21"You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, 'Do not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.' 22But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to his brother, 'Raca,' is answerable to the Sanhedrin. But anyone who says, 'You fool!' will be in danger of the fire of hell.
23"Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.
25"Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still with him on the way, or he may hand you over to the judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison. 26I tell you the truth, you will not get out until you have paid the last penny.
Adultery
27"You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' 28But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.
Divorce
31"It has been said, 'Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.'[f] 32But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.
Oaths
33"Again, you have heard that it was said to the people long ago, 'Do not break your oath, but keep the oaths you have made to the Lord.' 34But I tell you, Do not swear at all: either by heaven, for it is God's throne; 35or by the earth, for it is his footstool; or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the Great King. 36And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make even one hair white or black. 37Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No'; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.
An Eye for an Eye
38"You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.'[g] 39But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. 40And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. 41If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. 42Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.
Love for Enemies
43"You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor[h] and hate your enemy.' 44But I tell you: Love your enemies[i] and pray for those who persecute you, 45that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? 47And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? 48Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.
-------------------------------------------------------------
After reading the "salt & light" - even if you are from Mansoura, or Zagazig, you can still find MANY lessons from the above reading that will draw your attention as to what you should confess.
I never knew about that either, and i spend 11 years in Egypt....
look, Vas. there must be a deeper meaning to what the Preist is trying to convey to you, when He sias Erfa3 'Albak, that might be the solution to everything..... did you actually try it?? and maybe that is what He is doing... during confession, He has His heart with the Lord... and just trying to get you to do the same....
and "Kol al 'ashia' ta3mal ma3an lil kheir lelazeen yoheboun 'al Alla" know, if you truly love God, than there must be a meaning to all wha is happening to you....
But he didnt even let me finish my confession. He just kept on going on and on and on with that same drivel:
"Erfa3a alback"... lol
Ya3ni guys... find a priest that at least has something interesting to say.
[quote author=godislove260 link=topic=6693.msg89515#msg89515 date=1212694595]
Thanks QT I really appreciate it. I also worry about boring abouna, especially my FOC whom I know is very busy.
No such thing as "BORING" Abouna.... It is His job to take confession.... that is part of the job... even if He is busy, He HAS TO MAKE time for you.... I can almost garentee you, nothing He gets busy with, is as important as you taking confession... no matter what He gets busy with is as important as your ETERNAL LIFE...
I know you're right, but the thing is I hate being a burden to people. I live in Europe and my FOC in Egypt, so my contact with him is by phone. But I know he is very busy (I mean really really busy) and he does a great job taking care of the congregation. But when I call him by phone I can't really see him and don't know how busy he is, you know what I mean???
So lets say, he's had a very tiring day at church and is home for a couple of hours only where he can relax a bit, and then I call (and he wouldn't refuse me, he would still say that he has time so as not to embarass me or something) and for this reason, when I call, I want to be sure that I'm not saying anything irrelevant or too much. I would prefer of course to have face to face contact with my FOC, but since that's not possible, I have to settle with using the phone. But since he, who already has so many people in Egypt to take care of, is making time to talk to me, I, on my side, want to be as quick and relevant as possible so as not to take up to much of his time in vain.
God Bless
Please pray for me
[quote author=coptic pharaoh link=topic=6693.msg89548#msg89548 date=1212709682]
[quote author=godislove260 link=topic=6693.msg89515#msg89515 date=1212694595]
Thanks QT I really appreciate it. I also worry about boring abouna, especially my FOC whom I know is very busy.
No such thing as "BORING" Abouna.... It is His job to take confession.... that is part of the job... even if He is busy, He HAS TO MAKE time for you.... I can almost garentee you, nothing He gets busy with, is as important as you taking confession... no matter what He gets busy with is as important as your ETERNAL LIFE...
I know you're right, but the thing is I hate being a burden to people. I live in Europe and my FOC in Egypt, so my contact with him is by phone. But I know he is very busy (I mean really really busy) and he does a great job taking care of the congregation. But when I call him by phone I can't really see him and don't know how busy he is, you know what I mean???
So lets say, he's had a very tiring day at church and is home for a couple of hours only where he can relax a bit, and then I call (and he wouldn't refuse me, he would still say that he has time so as not to embarass me or something) and for this reason, when I call, I want to be sure that I'm not saying anything irrelevant or too much. I would prefer of course to have face to face contact with my FOC, but since that's not possible, I have to settle with using the phone. But since he, who already has so many people in Egypt to take care of, is making time to talk to me, I, on my side, want to be as quick and relevant as possible so as not to take up to much of his time in vain.
God Bless
Please pray for me
Is there a Church near by where you live?? or at least is there a Priest that comes to visit like once a month or something....... if you are a teen, then it is very hard to confess to Abouna and you don't see Him in front of you.. especially cause you said you were "new " to confession.... if you were an adult and confess by phone , then fine, but as a teenager (you are a teen, right??) you gotta be infront of Abouna... it is a lot easier like that....
If there are Preists that come visit, then ask one of them about this....
God Bless
Please pray for me
I found a really good video on confession:
I don't this priest is from SHoubra, but trust me, if u read St. Mathew Chapter 5, it will be just as productive as what he's saying. (it amounts to the same thing!) trust me.
pray for me
joe
Its H.G. Anba Moussa Bishop of the Youth.... I think he was from Sohag though not Shoubra ;D
pray for me
joe
If you focus on what he's advising, i think its pretty good. Its how i used to confess before. However, I found reading St. Mathew chapter 5 BEFORE confession more efficient. Ya3ni.. its the same, but u waste less time.