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Dilemma

joegjoeg
edited December 1969 in Personal Issues
OK, suppose some girl is flirting with me... I don't really want to have anyting to do with her, and she's in a relationship with one of my friends who I see often (I of course don't do the whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing)... and shes quite persistent... and i cant shake her off, because i see my friend often and shes always there with him... what do I do?

pray for me

joe
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Comments

  • Unknown
    [quote author=josephgabriel link=topic=6700.msg89581#msg89581 date=1212750911]
    OK, suppose some girl is flirting with me... I don't really want to have anyting to do with her, and she's in a relationship with one of my friends who I see often (I of course don't do the whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing)... and shes quite persistent... and i cant shake her off, because i see my friend often and shes always there with him... what do I do?

    pray for me

    joe


    Don't hesitate to tell her. Make it clear. Crystal clear that you abhore such behaviour. Furthermore, its extremely hurtful towards her boyfriend by her acting this way.

    If you lose your friend? You've suffered for righteousness sake.
    Bingo Joe!! Lucky you!!
  • joegjoeg
    OK Vas... but suposing she is unaware that she is flirting with me - i mean there are some girls who do it so often it becomes sort of natural - if i accuse her then I may upset her, and she might not have malicious intentions
  • Unknown
    [quote author=josephgabriel link=topic=6700.msg89586#msg89586 date=1212751488]
    OK Vas... but suposing she is unaware that she is flirting with me - i mean there are some girls who do it so often it becomes sort of natural - if i accuse her then I may upset her, and she might not have malicious intentions

    OK.. tell her this , between you and her : ok
    (let's assume her name is Jane)

    Say to her: "Jane, I'm pretty sure that you don't realise this, and you definately don't have any bad intentions, but I noticed that you happen to be a touchy-feely person... that's fine.. but I am not used to that at all, and it makes me feel really uncomfortable. Also, could you please bear in mind that if you were my fiance, it would bother me if you behaved this way towards other men. Given that your boyfriend is also my friend, you should bear that in mind that perhaps he too maybe hurt".

    That's assuming she's always touching u. That happens often. Especially with english girls... ESPECIALLY if they are from essex.

    But let's assume that it was worse. Let's assume she was winking at u, or really trying to seduce u.

    Just Slap the silly cow!!

    I did that once at school.. ok - not EXACTLY that.. but close.

    THis girl wanted a favour from me at school, she came up to me and started to touch my back, my hair and really flirt. We were ALREADY friends, so I didnt understand why she was doing that, so I said to her :"Look! Don't touch me like that!! If you want anything, just ask, and I'll help u".

    THen she said "sorry" , and that's it.

    Actually, that really improved my popularity at school.

    Maybe she was flirting with me and using the fact that she needed something from me as an excuse to flirt with me?? Not sure... but either way, english women are a bit sad. (sorry).



  • joegjoeg
    LOL thanks Vas that was good advice. She talk loads, nothing as straight forward as winking, but shes always trying to talk to me alone, and the odd touch
  • Unknown
    [quote author=josephgabriel link=topic=6700.msg89588#msg89588 date=1212752273]
    LOL thanks Vas that was good advice. She talk loads, nothing as straight forward as winking, but shes always trying to talk to me alone, and the odd touch


    When she's alone with u, what does she talk about? The spice girls? Most english girls talk about that.. don't they.

  • joegjoeg
    lol spice girls are dead. Na she mostly talks about herself (alarm bell?!)
  • Unknown
    [quote author=josephgabriel link=topic=6700.msg89590#msg89590 date=1212752701]
    lol spice girls are dead. Na she mostly talks about herself (alarm bell?!)


    Yes.. talking about yourself is not a good thing. What does she have to say?? What is it about herself that she wants to tell u??

    English girls are so boring. I can imagine her telling u "Yeah, I really want to be a spice girl", or something lame like :"I really feel close to God when I walk in cemetries" - (some girl told me that once... lol).

    Good luck Joe. Im so sorry u are in the UK.
  • joegjoeg
    lol Vas... cemetries - what interseting conversations you have  ;D
  • joegjoeg
    Oh no, I don't know how, but she just got hold of my msn.... if i block her shes bound to ask why tomorrow... stuck
  • jydeaconjydeacon
    When you block someone on msn they only appear offline to the other person, it does not say that you have been blocked. So if you are really having trouble with this girl, the best thing to do is be straight forward, don't try to let it die down on its own cause it could get worse or remain the same. Just tell her how you feel and if she gets hurt, then honestly she brought it on herself(i'm not saying be rude with her ya3ni, just straight forward) and if she does get hurt well this girl is very sensitive and if you looked at her the wrong way she would cry(being sarcastic haha)
  • Unknown
    You should also tell your friend that she is flirting w/ you because flirting may lead to another thing and im not saying she might do the nxt thing w/ u im just saying general also is this friend of ur coptic or catholic or what?

    Pray 4 me
    Copticdeacon
  • joegjoeg
    My friend has no religion, and thanks for the help guys. But if I block her jy, she'll wonder why im not answering her, so that will also lead to a confrontation - i have no qualms about this, but it will ruin the friendship between me and my friend and with her to an extent

    pray for me

    joe
  • coptic pharoahcoptic pharoah
    how about you tell her on MsN?? that might work... 
  • PopeKyrillosPopeKyrillos
    One of the church fathers speaks about his own personal experience with a woman who tried to seduce him. He said that he made her lose interest in him by talking about things she didn't care about or didn't like. I liked this story because you are not telling her anything that will offend her. Also, don't show any sexual interest in her whatsoever and try not to be alone with her at all. As far as telling her boyfriend, I thought about it and I'm not sure what to tell you. He may get furious with you for telling him that but if later on he finds out, he might get mad that you never told him. So I really don't know what's better. I think your the only one who can say really because he's your friend not ours. Remember Joseph Jacob's son. As a slave, his master's wife clearly wanted to have sex with him. After he rejected, she told her husband that he wanted to have sex with her. I think in your situation, this same thing could happen. That's why i said earlier to not be alone with her.

    PK
  • Unknown
    Joe, What was wrong with my advice?
    I've been in that situation loads of times. I hate it when girls do that... Its so annoying.
  • joegjoeg
    Dudes thanks for all the advice (nothing wrong Vas) you've all helped. I reckon ill try ignoring her, but if she tris anything further I will actually just be blunt and tell her to "low off of me"... and if it doesnt go down well... well it shows my integrity

    pray for me

    joe
  • Unknown
    [quote author=josephgabriel link=topic=6700.msg89634#msg89634 date=1212788294]
    you've all helped.
    joe


    Yeah, OK...  but who helped the most??

    (the fact that I want u to be head of sunday school, should not in any way influence your answer).
  • joegjoeg
    lol I'll repeat again you all helped - thanks to Vas, jy, PK, coptic pharaoh, and copticdeacon

    pray for me

    joe
  • Unknown
    [quote author=josephgabriel link=topic=6700.msg89684#msg89684 date=1212826042]
    lol I'll repeat again you all helped - thanks to Vas, jy, PK, coptic pharaoh, and copticdeacon

    pray for me

    joe


    OK.. but who helped the MOST??
  • joegjoeg
    Why does it matter Vas? You all helped, thats it  :)

    pray for me

    joe
  • Unknown
    [quote author=josephgabriel link=topic=6700.msg89696#msg89696 date=1212831463]
    Why does it matter Vas? You all helped, thats it  :)

    pray for me

    joe


    Because I want to know who helped THE MOST?
  • coptic pharoahcoptic pharoah
    Vas.  don't ask that question....      becasue the answer might make someone proud of themself and PRIDE is what brought the devil down to be the devil........ 

    just leave it like this.....  you guys all helped...  simple.


    Vas.... is the answer you are trying to get too: YOU??  just asking..lol    "Cough , Cough ::) the fench peope  "clears throat.
  • Unknown
    [quote author=coptic pharaoh link=topic=6700.msg89724#msg89724 date=1212859663]
    Vas.   don't ask that question....       becasue the answer might make someone proud of themself and PRIDE is what brought the devil down to be the devil........ 

    just leave it like this.....   you guys all helped...  simple.


    Vas.... is the answer you are trying to get too: YOU??  just asking..lol     "Cough , Cough ::) the fench peope  "clears throat.


    Guys, first of all, thanks so much for worrying about making me proud etc. That's so nice of u. U are worried about my spiritual welfare?? Also, its a sign of spiritual weakness to search for complements.

    I'm not searching for complements at ALL. Do NOT worry my friends. I just wish to know if I gave the best advice because I'm trying to analyse what my talents are.
    See!!!
  • coptic pharoahcoptic pharoah
    [quote author=QT_PA_2T link=topic=6700.msg89728#msg89728 date=1212860062]
    [quote author=coptic pharaoh link=topic=6700.msg89724#msg89724 date=1212859663]
    Vas.   don't ask that question....       becasue the answer might make someone proud of themself and PRIDE is what brought the devil down to be the devil........ 

    just leave it like this.....   you guys all helped...  simple.


    Vas.... is the answer you are trying to get too: YOU??  just asking..lol     "Cough , Cough ::) the fench peope  "clears throat.


    Guys, first of all, thanks so much for worrying about making me proud etc. That's so nice of u. U are worried about my spiritual welfare?? Also, its a sign of spiritual weakness to search for complements.

    I'm not searching for complements at ALL. Do NOT worry my friends. I just wish to know if I gave the best advice because I'm trying to analyse what my talents are.
    See!!!


    ask Joe in a private message...

    well,  i don't mind, but others might get hurt if Joe sais BlahBlah helped me most... 
    i didn't say anything here so, i don't mind, i never do, i know i wasted all the popsts i put up, they  are  jokes... expept for the odd ones here and there.....
  • joegjoeg
    OK, I approached her, told her I was uncomfortable with her flirting. She immediately said she was sorry, and she didn't realise she was doing it (according to her)... so now she has stopped with the "get me alone" routine. Thanks for your advice

    pray for me

    joe
  • Unknown
    [quote author=josephgabriel link=topic=6700.msg89773#msg89773 date=1212947189]
    OK, I approached her, told her I was uncomfortable with her flirting. She immediately said she was sorry, and she didn't realise she was doing it (according to her)... so now she has stopped with the "get me alone" routine. Thanks for your advice

    pray for me

    joe


    Hang on... that was my advice! That's what I advised u!!
    lol

    Anyway, congratulations Joe.

    Like I said, if you elect me as your priest, I will deliver the results!! Also, I propose Pizza after Mass.. not foule and ta3maya sandwiches!!!!

    Anymore probs Joe, let me know.
  • joegjoeg
    lol Vas, you have to go for the foul and ta3meya - true Shoubra style (its old school "madrassa adeema")  :)

    pray for me

    joe
  • coptic pharoahcoptic pharoah
    [quote author=QT_PA_2T link=topic=6700.msg89774#msg89774 date=1212947413]
    [quote author=josephgabriel link=topic=6700.msg89773#msg89773 date=1212947189]
    OK, I approached her, told her I was uncomfortable with her flirting. She immediately said she was sorry, and she didn't realise she was doing it (according to her)... so now she has stopped with the "get me alone" routine. Thanks for your advice

    pray for me

    joe


    Hang on... that was my advice! That's what I advised u!!
    lol

    Anyway, congratulations Joe.

    Like I said, if you elect me as your priest, I will deliver the results!! Also, I propose Pizza after Mass.. not foule and ta3maya sandwiches!!!!

    Anymore probs Joe, let me know.


    ya i agree with JOe....  u can't give up on the EGYPTIAN tradition of foul and ta3meya.... and you would call yourself a good priest??  shame..... shame on you...... 


    ok i am done... lol.....  why oizza anyways?? shouldn't u pick any french food?? like frogd , or snails? maybe even cheese
  • Unknown
    Man, if u elect me as your spiritual leader, we'll have lebanese food for all the 50 (al khamaseen),and then do Pizza for the rest.

    I cannot believe that my advice worked!! Man, I'm so happy.

    Joe: Did u tell her as I said exactly :
    "I'm sure you do not realise, NOR do u have any bad intentions... " or did u just say :"Look woman, do u realise that u are flirting with me?"

    Remember Joe, we are from Shoubra, not the sa3eed.. ya3ni its best to assume someone is innocent before u prove them guilty, and then kill them
  • joegjoeg
    Hahahaha... it was just after school, we always pass by her school which is down the road (our group), she joined the group, and then when we passed by the newsagents, when I said I wasn't going in, suprise suprise, she said she'll wait outside. So everyone apart from me and her are outside, and then I think "Do it now" so I say "So, (name) I don't feel to comfortable with the flirting" - to me it was a shot in the dark, as I hadn't a clue if she meant it or not, but by the way she coloured and rapidly said "I dunno what you're talking about" I new I was right - she did mean it. I said "It's just that it bothers me, and I don't feel comfortable with it", and then she said "well, I'm sorry if I was flirting, I didn't mean to, yeah i'll try to be more careful". At this point I thought ((she'd make a good actor)) but I accepted her "apology", and since then, we haven't been alone at all...

    pray for me

    joe
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