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Marrying people on Student Visa?
well that is the issue.
there is this boy who will ademli.
He is great, very very spiritual- that is the best thing about him. In our 2 hr convesation 1.50 min he is talking about Jesus. i love that about him
He is nice and i could consider to agree. However he doesnt speak the language and many things that he doesnt agree with that me as an australian does but would take me the way i am.
should i even consider? people say that they just want Visa, people say that he doesnt know the language so dont try (btw i do speak arabic but not 1001% obviously english is easier for me) people say that its just plain disgusting :-\ and the list goes on.
what should i do- he will tlak to abouna soon however should i even be considering or should i be saying someting like DONT TAKE THE RISK with people that are in his situation. HELP?
btw guys its great to be back on this site havent been on for like 2 years. really hes made me come back to jesus and therefore fufill my time in such beautiful websites rather than other useless ones.
there is this boy who will ademli.
He is great, very very spiritual- that is the best thing about him. In our 2 hr convesation 1.50 min he is talking about Jesus. i love that about him
He is nice and i could consider to agree. However he doesnt speak the language and many things that he doesnt agree with that me as an australian does but would take me the way i am.
should i even consider? people say that they just want Visa, people say that he doesnt know the language so dont try (btw i do speak arabic but not 1001% obviously english is easier for me) people say that its just plain disgusting :-\ and the list goes on.
what should i do- he will tlak to abouna soon however should i even be considering or should i be saying someting like DONT TAKE THE RISK with people that are in his situation. HELP?
btw guys its great to be back on this site havent been on for like 2 years. really hes made me come back to jesus and therefore fufill my time in such beautiful websites rather than other useless ones.
Comments
I say atm, dont consider it. Maybe in a few years time? if he is still willing.
Also if he doesnt speak english i'm sure your going to have allot of communication issues with him if you do marry, and that might cause tension and stress.
Waiting a few years sounds wise.
Is minor communication difficulties enough of a problem to refuse?
I agree with ChristopherBoctor, If you know him very well and feel he is in it for love then maybe you should consider it, but if you don't know him, you never know what his true intention is. It is a bit risky i would agree with that. The question now is, do you really love him or not? AND are you at an age to really even consider marriage?
I would say communications could be a problem, I mean if you guys have a disagreement and aren't able to communicate enough because of a language barrier that could lead to bigger problems.
Sorry but I don't think now is the time to think about marriage.
By the way, how old is this man?
The question i am really asking is should i consider (THUS LOVE) at the moment it is more like im getting to know him and wondering if i should persue the idea or not.
im asking for assistance before i tell the boy i will even consider; to save him the trouble. so is he worth considering or is there are enough barriers to realise that there will be always someone more suitable despite his suitability in relation to religiousness and spirituality.
Well...to get on topic, you should really discuss this with your father of confession before anyone else (Your parents may not take it well or fully endorse this if you tell them too early, maybe to your displeasure). If this proposal is to be taken seriously, I suggest you ask about what makes a good relationship. Besides the typically expected factors (ie. Spiritual Level, Interests, Qualifications, etc), communication is very important. With such high divorce rates, particularly in the western world, its very important to consider communication between partners is open and not strained too much. If this guy you speak of doesn't hinder your communication with him too much, it really wont be a problem in the long run. However, if you're someone who values a person who has fluent english, then your relationship can hit a snag (although nothing serious will ever come of it if God is constantly involved in your lives).
Then there's the whole issue with age difference, maturity and your western ideals versus his arabic mentality, which may take awhile to change (Though I may be heavily stereotyping here, culture clashes can be a bit hard to deal with). And if you go along with everyone whose been telling you, there may be a hidden agenda with the marriage, however I dont beleive this to be so unless the person does not seem like they'de be ready to take on the responsibility....
What do you think guys?...
what hit me hard was that yes, i do value someone that has fluent english, it is a subconcious need within me to communicate at a proficiently satisfactory level of english.
Just because he talks about Jesus 90% of the time does not make him a spiritual person. A Christian should be known by their actions not words. And he might be putting on a show to impress you.
Communication is key in any successful relationship. If you have a language barrier that will be a big problem in the longrun.
He grew up in Egypt and you in Australia. There are going to be some cultural differences and you should not brush that aside. Marriage is a lot easier when you marry someone with a similar background to yours. Never marry someone in hopes that they will change, that never happens.
The whole visa thing???? You will never be sure of what his true intentions are.
Lastly you are quite young and will have a lot of opportunities to meet other people, there is no need to rush at such a young age.
so what do itell him. stay friend until i make up a descision. or just a no. or look these are the barriers and they are a good enough reason to refuse right now no matter how good/ereligious/compatible u may be in other areas?
..But this is all my opinion...I suggest you seek expert advice on a proper approach to say 'no'. I t could get really sour if you dont hand this situation delicately enough.
Dear friends,
You almost gave her the best advice. I just wanted to throw some words.
A spiritual person gives everything to God. I mean we can say a lot of things
about this relationship. We judge from appearance. We need now Someone
who looks deep into your heart(both of u). We need Someone who can see
the future just as it is already past. We need Someone who loves u and cares
for ur life. This Someone is None other but God. God is the wisest of all.
God is a helper to those in need. God is near to those who calls Him with humilty. How can I really get closer to God to hear His voice? well, He said Himself,
Knock!!! how? by prayer. Can I make my prayer powerful in any way and at the
same time humble myself under His feet? ohh yeah, by Fasting. How long?
Well it depends on ur ability. 3 days, 7 days, 21 days, 40 days. Do I have to
go through all these for just a simple thing? Marriage is not a simple thing.
Marriage is about choosing who will unite with u to form one person. Unite in fellowship, Unite in idea, unite in plan, unite in raising children...unite for life to walk for eternity
towards God. who will be that person? Never try to choose this person by urself.
You are not even good in choosing from a cafe menu to what to eat for a single day.
Only God will do that for you. Remember God loves you. God is ur Father.
Those who wait for God will get the best. God is perfect. No error at His sight.
May God be with u with the fervent intercession of His holiest mother, St. Mary,
All His holy angels, All Saints. Amen!!!
well that is the issue.
there is this boy who will ademli.
He is great, very very spiritual- that is the best thing about him. In our 2 hr convesation 1.50 min he is talking about Jesus. i love that about him
He is nice and i could consider to agree. However he doesnt speak the language and many things that he doesnt agree with that me as an australian does but would take me the way i am.
should i even consider? people say that they just want Visa, people say that he doesnt know the language so dont try (btw i do speak arabic but not 1001% obviously english is easier for me) people say that its just plain disgusting :-\ and the list goes on.
what should i do- he will tlak to abouna soon however should i even be considering or should i be saying someting like DONT TAKE THE RISK with people that are in his situation. HELP?
btw guys its great to be back on this site havent been on for like 2 years. really hes made me come back to jesus and therefore fufill my time in such beautiful websites rather than other useless ones.
i heard that they (priests) advice the youth in UK not to try and marry someone who hasn't lived in the same country as you because yes i agree with you sprituality has no home country or first language and it is really great to find a guy like this.
however, have you thought about the way you and he have been brought up? both your lives might have been set on exactly the same principles of the coptic orthodox church. but different countries have different cultures, beliefs (not the religious ones just general), communication with others and many more.
in fact, many of the things that we do in our everyday lives are affecting by the people around us and how they will judge us.
sorry i do not mean to make it sound really complicated or put you off because many marriages involved conditions like this. it will take lots and lots of serious thinking about this. try to think about the issue from each angle and point of view. after all, ,marriage is for life!
obviously you must and should meet him face to face many many times and find out about his personality (apart from the spirituality) and if it can work with your personality. i heard engagements should last at least 1 year. so you'd spend 4 full seasons with him. this is good because even if he was trying to hide something or a weakness..it would gradually show up and so there'll be no surprises after the honey moon lol. good luck anyways