aghaby everyone,
i have two friends who really like each other. they are both Coptic Orthodox. And basically. they are both religious expecially the boy(a deacon). they are not going out or dating or any of that. However, tehy text a lot and really like each other. what i am trying to ask is that is it wrong to do that if u keep ur relationship religious, mature, and easy going. THey only text, and yes in person. But, that is being reduced. they are 16 and 15 years. and yees i know they are young. So is that wrong??
+mahraeel+
Comments
I see nothing wrong with texting each other. But - why not ask Abouna? That's EXACTLY why abouna is there. Its the only reason we have married priests - that they live amongst us and have children like us and can advise us spiritually, in a practical way.
So, ask abouna, he probably knows them very well, and can advise them. I'm sure in abouna's heart he would be really happy to see children in his care being friends. The church is worried about that: that apparently only 7 out of 10 copts marry in the Church or a person from the CoC.
If kids feel that they cannot be friends in Church, there is a danger that such focus on their private lives that is needless could destroy a relationship the Church is trying to encourage. That was from Anba Moussa who said that the Church would be happy to see you all get married to each other. If kids at 16 feel that they have been denied to develop any sort of relationship, no matter how pure it is, they may marry outside the Church.
however, then why do people always say that it will qet worse?
any ideas?
and yes they are not in an enclosd space. but when texting occurs, it is flirtatious obviously
comments? thanks
+mahraeel+
Let's not call those cases as sins - but I think they are wrong
[coptic]euer`prepi an[/coptic]
They are not comely (not fitting)
[coptic]qen painoj `nte oumetatemi nem oumetsib][/coptic]
in that age of lack of knowledge and change
[coptic]oujai qen `P=[=c[/coptic]
Moreover talk of love leads to lust
[coptic]oujai[/coptic]
So, would this be considered adultery?
+mahraeel+
Lust in the eyes of the saints is likened to the adultery but that is difficult for us to think like that
[coptic]oujai qen `P=[=c[/coptic]
It can become lustful, and that is why wisdom and caution is required, but it need not be considered adultery if no lustful messages have been exchanged or lustful thoughts allowed to grow. But now is the time to prevent those sins having any chance to take root.
Peter
Texting someone in the way described might well be unwise, but even having romantic feelings towards someone is not lust and is not adultery.
It can become lustful, and that is why wisdom and caution is required, but it need not be considered adultery if no lustful messages have been exchanged or lustful thoughts allowed to grow. But now is the time to prevent those sins having any chance to take root.
Peter
I think honestly that complete transparency is essential at this age with your FoC.
I am 110% sure that your FoC would love to hear about these things and he wouldnt be bored.
I think the best thing you can do at your age is find a good FoC who is really concerned with your personal and spiritual wellfare.
I don't see anything wrong with texting the opposite sex UNLESS it's talk of love which (like ophadece said) leads to lust and the story goes from there.
What do you think, mahraeel? Do you think it's right for teenagers to express their love (toward each other) everyday, through texting (or however else they communicate)?
Let's all try to look past the situation we see right now. Right now it seems like "nothing". And it very well might be! But what will happen in a few years (it might not actually take that long) if the flirtatious texting continues?
I would like to give an example of a situation very similar to this. You all recall the topic, that happened last night, with the atheist.. I won't go into too much detail since it was deleted, BUT when it first started everyone thought it was "nothing" and it wasn't going to lead into anything serious. It soon did. Why? Because no one looked past the situation. Please, let us always ask ourselves "What will happen if this continued and HAPPENED to get worse?" It might not, but there is a possibility that it might, so let's always consider this possibility before continuing with anything the devil might put his hands on.
The devil NEVER quits, and tries to squeeze into everything we have (both spiritually and worldly). And although love is a virtue from God, the devil will do everything in his power to destroy it or turn it into a sin.
"Resist the devil and he will flee from you." James 4:7
BUt..lets say he likes u andd u like him.?
wat r u supposed to do? surely u cant say qet away from each other right?
+mahraeel+
y was the atheist topic deleted? from the other category?
thankss
+mahraeel+
i wasnt sure if it was wrong or not. and yes talking to a FOC is the best thinq to do!
BUt..lets say he likes u andd u like him.?
wat r u supposed to do? surely u cant say qet away from each other right?
+mahraeel+
lol, no they don't have to get away from each other, but they can stop texting. Don't they still see each other in church? mish lazim texting ya3ny is what I'm saying... but who am I to give advice like this, I think you should follow QT_PA_2T's advice and talk to abouna about this one.
so bak to my oriqinal q, is textinq each other considered a sin. If it is under control. COnsider the "if it is"
+mahraeel+
The sin comes in with what is being communicated.
As others have said, you need a proper chat with your FOC to help you understand why you want to text with this person, and what boundaries would help preserve you.
In Christ
Peter
basically what would u think if yr aunt or someone saw the text? would it be oops she know's i like him? (ok) or oh, no, she must think i'm a sinner if she saw i wrote that? (not ok!)
wait so ur saying if asked from abouna he will allow those two teens to talk/text under some control?
+mahraeel+
God Bless
i juss wana noe for my experience..im jw
+mahraeel+
But if you are texting things that you would be ashamed for Abouna to see then that is a good indicator that you should not text them.
If you are sending texts that you would be embarrassed about then that might also be an indicator.
Texting in itself is not wrong. Texting a boy or girl is not in itself wrong. But what is being texted?
Peter
the fact that u both like each other. not bg/gf but the possibility is assumed since there is flirtinq and textinq involved.
+mahraeel+
P>S. please keep in mind, that if u liked someone, it would be hard to control ur emotions as well. so perspective from ur point of view would be nice as well..
thanks!
Hello friends,
I think it is a sin. These two ppl they r not scientists exchanging data. They are building emotional mountain in their heart in the name of love or social life. Greatest lies are based on truth. Deep in our hearts it tells us that we r disturbing the peace of our heart.
Love is a great gift from God. But in the name of love many hearts r corrupted and lives ruined. Love between the opposite sex should be planted only once in our heart. That love must be of our future spouse. The reason why marriage is a sacred mystery b/c it will be written by the Will of God. Anything that God taking part is sacred.
These two kids have started writing on the pages of their heart without permission from God. These pages r to be torn one day or to be deleted with regret. You never know if u r saying I love u to someone's spouse. This is a sin. For a Christian there is always been rules and heavenly guidance in doing anything. As far as I know we have no right ti fill our hearts with anyone or anything unless uproved of God. Our heart is the temple of God and we need to take care of it.
If I am a match stick I have to wait for my right fire, that is my real spouse. I have to protect my heart more than my body. I know many virgins in body but who has lost their virginity of heart like many years ago. Chastity is not only of biology but mainly spirit, heart. Everyone's heart should be saved for the right spouse that God would give.
If these 2 kids r engaged it would be just a holy love between two people, a future wife and husband. But these days we inscribe on our hearts many name lists and faces which r all fake. Why can't we wait for the right person? or pray to God to give us what He wants?
It is not about the text, it is the mind, heart, emotions, soul, spirit that are participating in every word we say. The Lord said, it is the thoughts that come out of ur hearts that corrupt u.
To sum up my idea, this is called fornication not adultery as it is before marriage. Inside marriage we call it adultery.
May God be with us all with His holiest mother, His holy angels and siants in mercy and love. Amen!!!
I love many people, indeed we are called to love all people. Love is not a quality which diminishes by being shared, indeed it increases in strength if it is honest and true.
There is nothing wrong or shameful in feelings of affection towards others, it is only if those feelings are allowed to become exclusive, demanding and selfish that they become sin. Then they cease to be love, or rather become a form of self-love.
To send a text to someone of the other sex is not fornication, and it is not good to lay such a burden of guilt on a young person. It is hard enough to guard the heart, but the heart is guarded by being fixed on Christ. And if the heart is fixed on Christ then there is no harm in sharing affection. This is why all of these things are a matter for a persons FOC and not for strict rules which cannot apply in all cases to all people.
Deacon Peter
any body else?
+mahraeel+
Hello friends,
Let me correct my spelling error first, uproved of God=approved of God.
Deacon Peter,
Love must be planted only once. I was not talking of angelic love towards families, friends, anyone created in the image of God. The love I was refering is the love one give to his/her spouse. This is the love of a female and a male person inside a holy marriage, or at least a would be ones(engaged).
At the age of 15 and 16 texting eachother and expecting them to be free of any kind of feelings for eachother? r they saints who reached the purity of heart? why do we give a chance for the devil to put his evil thoughts inside our mind?
I think the bible is writen for all cases and for all people. The laws of God like the laws of physics which cannot be changed. It is not like depriving them of food and water for a week. A Christian Love is more expressed by giving alms to the poor than texting. I am not against texting for a Holiday wish as a sign of pure love but texting many words will bear many emotions. These emotions will bear wrong or confused feelings. That will lead to a great sin.
The FOC is the crown of ur chastity and purity. He won't be disappointed if u stopped texting for the sake of keeping ur heart's purity. Fixing ur heart on Christ will mostly shut the doors of every sin.
Christianity is about strict rules but judged by a loving Father. A grace to give u the power to do the impossible. Stop texting with the opposite sex is not a big sacrifice who asked us to pluck our eyes if it offends us.
I don't know about u but for me texting with the opposite sex of the same age will not give me comfort or a peace of heart. If that person is my sure future spouse then it won't be as much dangerous. Even in the case of real married ppl it does not give us the permission to text any words we think. That is why the Lord God said, u r all responsible for every word u shall say. If I am as pure as an angel my words may not be interpreted using my heart but the others. Do u know a simple "Hi" can be given translated like a million ways in every different person's heart?
May God be with us with His holiest mother, St. Mary, His holy angles, saints. Amen!!!
We should not judge others. That is for the FOC to do sensitively and prayerfully. If I imagine all that is happening in the heart of someone texting another youth it says more about my own disordered state than theirs, since their own state is known only to God and to the FOC.
I am still not sure that I agree that feelings of affection are at all the same as the feelings between a man and his wife. Indeed if we are talking about romantic feelings then they are the least stable aspect of love within a relationship. Romantic love is not the foundation of a marriage. Romantic feelings are dangerous because they can be delusive, that is why the FOC should be allowed to advise on these matters. Especially in teenagers.
But what of the couple who become engaged and then discover that they should not marry, yet still have kind feelings towards each other, and then become engaged to others who they then marry and have a loving relationship with? I do not believe that they could ever be said to have committed fornication simply by having even strong feelings of affection towards someone else before meeting the people they do marry.
In Christ
Deacon Peter
also, Peter. I have to agree on one thinq. THis: We should not judge others. That is for the FOC to do sensitively and prayerfully.
the only person to judge is God. not even ubouna. i dont think it is fair if he does that u noe wat i mean? taht is just my opinion
+mahraeel+
All things are lawful, but not all things a helpful. All things are lawful, but not all things edify.
If this activity helps and edifies, then I think we have very little rationale to admonish this action.
By the way Mahrael, we are to judge those inside the Church! St. Paul specifically says that we must admonish one another, and to judge one another in his epistles in first Corinthians. We cannot be lukewarm to sin. However, this judging must be done in love, without hypocrisy, and be by God's Word, rather than our own prejudices and fickle thinking.
Further, I suggest when the temptation is felt by the boy and girl, gently remind him, to as Joseph did, flee from temptation.
In Christ.
I agree with u in a way but in my short experience of staggering to be with God; I saw even in my life, God's silence out of love being translated as a permission to go on. God does not want us to live in fear but with freedom to do righteous things.
May be there r ppl with a pure heart who can manage to pass through this clean. But for me it is like running in the rain without a drop touching me even though I have an umberella. Still reminding u, I am talking about 15 and 16 year old teens. This is the case we r talking about. We can text verses from the bible contrary to what we were refering. So the discussion is a narrow one specific to these teens.
Let us not expect the devil in a worldly places but right behind us in the Church also. He may not come as dark but as a shiny angel with a poisoned dart inside him. As a Christian we r always in a war with furious warriors. Our only and only escape is our Lord, Jesus the Christ, calling Him to guard us and to abolish the enemies snare all our life, giving us victory in His name.
May God be with us always with His holiest mother, St. Mary, His holy angels, saints. Amen!!!