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Hard to Confess
Hi everyone,
I have had this embarrassing sin inside me for a while and i dont know why but i just cant confess it to my abouna. every time i go to confession i want to say it but i just cant because it is so embarrassing and bad. I am quite close with abouna so it might be that but im not sure, maybe im subconsciously worried about what he will think of me. I know that the devil is trying to prevent me from repenting but i still dont know why i can not confess to my abouna. i have tried to abstain from this sin for long periods of time but then it just comes up again and i just fall into it like the miserable sinner i am!
so i ask you if anyone has any advice for me
thank you all and God bless you
Pray for me
I have had this embarrassing sin inside me for a while and i dont know why but i just cant confess it to my abouna. every time i go to confession i want to say it but i just cant because it is so embarrassing and bad. I am quite close with abouna so it might be that but im not sure, maybe im subconsciously worried about what he will think of me. I know that the devil is trying to prevent me from repenting but i still dont know why i can not confess to my abouna. i have tried to abstain from this sin for long periods of time but then it just comes up again and i just fall into it like the miserable sinner i am!
so i ask you if anyone has any advice for me
thank you all and God bless you
Pray for me
Comments
-make a list of your sins, and you have to like order them from not as bad, to bad (even though any sin is the same), and then somewhere in the middle of the not so bad sins you put that embarrassing one.
or
-Man up to your sin because thats the whole reason for confession your ashamed of what you did so now you dont want to say it because your scared. That is what the devil puts in your head he says, "oh abouna is going to look at you diffrently, and talk about you" you shouldn't really care anyways because we all have embarrassing sins like yours, just ignore what people think of you and worry what God thinks of you. Because in the end its his opinion that makes the difference.
Forgive me if i have sinned against you, or insulted you. Pray for my weakness, and our beloved Fr. Abouna Bishoy Demetrious.
[quote author=deaconmark123 link=topic=7640.msg100266#msg100266 date=1234667306]
Pray for my weakness, and our beloved Fr. Abouna Bishoy Demetrious.
God rest his soul! I was at the funeral service today and i think the whole church was crying...even the pope!!
please pray for me
'What! Do you think abouna is not human? He didn't fall into these sins when he was younger? Oh how many times did I fall into this embarassing sin, and went to my FOC and confessed about it! I fell, and rose up in repentance and confession, and then fell again etc. Please don't deify priests, we are humans, and it's only through God's grace and mercy that we're here...'
You should of course be ashamed of any sin you commit, but let it be a 'healthy' shame that will stop you from committing it again, and not a 'paralyzing' shame that stops you from confessing it because you fear someone might look at you differently, because that is of the devil who doesn't want you to enjoy the sacrament of repentance of confession and who wants you to put 'how people view you' above the 'commandment of God'..
If you confess in 'health' shame, you'll be throwing off any pride, and humbling yourself before God in the presence of the priest... 'God opposes the proud, and gives grace to the humble'
Remember, we are all sinners, even our abouna's...
May God have mercy upon us all
God bless you
Please pray for my weakness
This is what a Coptic Orthodox Priest said in a sermon about confession of youthful sins:
'What! Do you think abouna is not human? He didn't fall into these sins when he was younger? Oh how many times did I fall into this embarassing sin, and went to my FOC and confessed about it! I fell, and rose up in repentance and confession, and then fell again etc. Please don't deify priests, we are humans, and it's only through God's grace and mercy that we're here...'
You should of course be ashamed of any sin you commit, but let it be a 'healthy' shame that will stop you from committing it again, and not a 'paralyzing' shame that stops you from confessing it because you fear someone might look at you differently, because that is of the devil who doesn't want you to enjoy the sacrament of repentance of confession and who wants you to put 'how people view you' above the 'commandment of God'..
If you confess in 'health' shame, you'll be throwing off any pride, and humbling yourself before God in the presence of the priest... 'God opposes the proud, and gives grace to the humble'
Remember, we are all sinners, even our abouna's...
May God have mercy upon us all
God bless you
Please pray for my weakness
You make a good point. I just hope I can take this and confess as soon as possible!!
remember we all sin, God forgives us only because we trust in the great sacrifice of our redeemer, not because we're not so bad.
first, regarding the embarassment of the sin, its necessary. we have to be embarassed and ashamed of our sins because that is part of the whole process of confession.
-another point i would like to mention as some have already is, abouna is human and has sins aswell, possibly has the same sins. secondly, you will not be the first person that will confess that sin to him..he heard it confessed a kazelion times by others before you and probably has experience with helping people overcome it. so just confess, and be humiliated now.. in front of ONE person that will never say anything to anyone or be reluctant in confessing it and be too late and have it be an obstacle in your salvation,(its NOT worth it!) at that point you wouldnt be confessing through one person personally to God..but to GOD! directly and in front of the rest of the world.
which is more embarassing?? take your pick..
[quote author=egyboy link=topic=7640.msg100267#msg100267 date=1234667612]
but i am really close with my priest and he is kind of strict and will ask a lot of questions, but i really dont want to talk about this miserable sin!
you can write the sin on a peice of paper,or tell him everything want about it and right under it say: abouna i am not comfortable to talk about this yet, and i dont wish discuss it.
abouna will respect your wishes and you will be absolved from the sin
However, you mentioned that you still struggle with this sin, so i would advise you to talk about it with him so he can give you excercises and practices of different things to do to help you overcome the sin since it is the ultimate goal. however, God looks for the struggle. and only with Gods help you can overcome sin, for our nature is weak.
[quote author=Godislove260 link=topic=7640.msg100272#msg100272 date=1234697300]
You should of course be ashamed of any sin you commit, but let it be a 'healthy' shame that will stop you from committing it again,
confessing the sin to abouna might make you soooo ashamed that you will never do it again because how much shame you felt in front of abouna and never want to feel it again. so you will just be fearful of committing the sin because you will have in mind what you must do later.
may God forgive us our many sins and guide us through out the way into His kingdom..
somebody please correct me if i am wrong for my benefit and the benefit of others.
please keep me and my MANY weaknesses in your prayers
-your sister in Christ
Remember sins prosper in the dark. Think about this sin; it was probably done when no one you cared about was looking; probably at night; when you were more or less anonymous?
We must live in the light mate. If we want to become pure, we need to offer our whole selves to God, and just empty ourselves of our pride. Christ did no wrong, and yet He was openly humiliated, questioned, and punished. We must carry our cross- but remember, do this in the hope of the Resurrection- that is if you confess your sins, God is faithful to forgive them. And not only that, if we walk in the light, we will share in the glory of the resurrection.
All sins are embarassing- all reveal our weakness- small or big. Don't worry- its God's righteousness we need to pursue- not our own. He will give it to you, if you walk in faith, and clothe yourself in the Blood of Christ. He will sanctify you, and cleanse your heart, and purge away your sins from within.
God rest his soul! I was at the funeral service today and i think the whole church was crying...even the pope!!
please pray for me
same here i was crying so hard, because i attend the church regularly, and to me it was like loosing my grandfather who taught me basic everything i knew...
i just hope when god calls on me that abouna bishoy, my aunt, teta, and St. Mark are there to welcome me.
Pray for me and our brethren who are suffering in egypt
As for the sin, it sounds bad, so I think by your words that you have realized the ugliness of your sin. So even if you long for it, remember God in front of whom you commit it, or if that fails, remember ABouna to whom I am sure you don't want to confess it again.
Also, you mentioned before in another thread that you serve. For me, that was reason enough to try hardewr. I've found that the service was a blessing for me in certain times because when I would commit such terrible sins, I would remember the pure, innocent children I teach and stand in front of every Sunday as a role model. This was enough to put me to shame and I stopped the sin. Given, sometimes the devil tries to bring it to me while I'm sleeping, but I wake up and I become more determined to resist. Remember the children, the pure children. Think about what kind of role model you're being for them. This should not make you leave the service, but should encourage you to do better and try harder.
Above all, always remember that God's mercy is always greater than your sin and that nothing should separate you from the love of Christ.
I should say these things to myself. God bless.
My dear Brother or Sister,
I must first applaud you for having the courage to seek help and admit your problem . It takes alot of courage to admit this and also pain for you to share this online. I also thank this very Christian web community that is so supportive and understanding.
You shared that you are 16yrs old. This is a time when boys AND girls are in the middle of intense sexual feelings that can really feel overwhelming at times and depending on how the topic of sex has been handled (or not been handled) in the home can really determine if the teen is going to cope with their bodies. Often times sex is a forbidden topic in our homes and we tend to hear selectively the negative sides of sexuality. Then we become dazzled at times with what the secular world projects with its anti-Christian values thru the media, education, music,movies,etc, telling us that sex is a natural need of the body and very enjoyable as well.
Let me please share that sex is a beautiful gift from God given to us to be enjoyed in a loving and caring relationship called Marriage. Sex is procreative. In other words, it makes babies (generally speaking ) and this is why many people use contraceptives.
. Our bodies are beautifully made by God and, as Christians, are called to "...present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God... (Rom12:1)". You and I are called to offer ourselves to God. Many of the brethren here gave excellent advice on how to do this. Consider it.
Many people due not knowing for themselves what the Holy Orthodox Church teaches about sexuality walk around with mistaken ideas about it and set themselves up to drown in shamet and feel alienated,embarrassed to share with anyone, especially a confession father about this. Read the links the brethren posted here concerning Church teaching about this and have some one you connect with from the Church explain it to you. You deserve to be informed in the Love of Christ and not set yourself up to be alone with your fears and shame.
Many people use the excuse of relieving stress thru masturbation. This is very dangerous. We as human beings operate thru what is called the Pian/Pleasure Principle. Which means if it hurts, we stop it. If it feels good, we continue doing it. So if a person continues masturbating to release stress, eventually they MAY start doing when they are NOT stressed. This can lead into more fantasy or pornography. Thus what started as a stress reliever turns slowly into an addiction. Many of the Holy Fathers speak about this. The addiction is called by the Fathers a Passion.
I will end by saying there is help (finally i get to the point... ). Besides the powereful graces given by the Lord Jesus Christ thru the Holy Sacraments (Esp. Confession and the Holy Eucharist) there is also stuff online that i suggest. Even if you are a teen this can help you immensely. The first thing is a book you can get in Barnes and Noble or any big Book store or Amazon.com by Father Meletios Webber on the 12 Steps. It is based on the !2 Steps of Alcoholic Anonymous but its extremely useful for people having trouble with other spiritual problems. The other thing (is and you may not fit under this category but it may help you) can look for online for 12 Step group meetings where you can meet people who may have similiar probles as yourself but may help you stop. They are very successful and it is at NO cost to you. In other words, it's FREE ! I will send the info thru this site. Please check your messages. Hope this helps. God bless oyu. .
and btw Boricua, just to clarify, i never said i was 16... im 18 btw
PLEASE PRAY FOR ME!!!!
Proverbs 28:13
He who covers his sins will not prosper, But whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy.
once you let it out, whatever it happens to be, you will feel better, and God will help you to stay away from it...
( it won't be instant... it will stop over time)
I dont know how to tell abouna the sins i have done. Its very difficult for me and its still hard for me to resist these sins. Does anyone have any advise?
Please pray for me and my many weaknesses!!!!!
Hi everyone,
I have had this embarrassing sin inside me for a while and i dont know why but i just cant confess it to my abouna. every time i go to confession i want to say it but i just cant because it is so embarrassing and bad. I am quite close with abouna so it might be that but im not sure, maybe im subconsciously worried about what he will think of me. I know that the devil is trying to prevent me from repenting but i still dont know why i can not confess to my abouna. i have tried to abstain from this sin for long periods of time but then it just comes up again and i just fall into it like the miserable sinner i am!
so i ask you if anyone has any advice for me
thank you all and God bless you
Pray for me
Do you feel conscious about your sin?
If so, you should confess it.
Seriously. Go and just tell abouna. Its better sooner than later. Can you imagine that the guilt will never go away unless you confess this, and it will be harder the longer u leave it.
So what if its embarassing? Which is better? to die in a sin, or to be embarassed about it? What's there to be embarassed about.. ?? we are all sinners.