why do we feel the need to judge others?

Copticdeacon

why do we feel the need to judge others? Im just wondering what you think about that and what makes us judge people.  all the surface stuff i know... pride, jealousy, etc. is obvious.. its what everyone thinks of when they hear judgement.. i need to go deeper into the word, why do we do it, what triggers it, what would happen if we didnt' do it, are we capable of that, why? .. etc

godislove260

I would say it's a lack of focus and a wrong attitude.
We don't focus on God, if we did, we would always remember the words: No one is righteous, not one...
Instead of comparing ourselves to others, or looking at the sins of others, we should  focus on Christ, His righteousness, His goodness, His unconditional love, His mercy, His kindness... etc. It would be very difficult to judge someone else if we'd only focus on the fact that they are so precious in God's eyes, that He was willing to sacrifice His only Son for their sake... If we kept in mind that these are not just regular people, but the children of God, whom He bought with His precious blood, we'd think twice before passing judgement...

I think one great solution for this terrible sin of judging others is to learn to judge ourselves and be very strict. If we learn to be humble, always keeping in mind our weakness and with them, God's incredible mercy then our will to judge will fade away..

And of course most importantly, the only way to defeat any sin, is through God's help, for 'without Him we can do nothing', so we need to ask our Heavenly Father with a heart full of faith in a spirit of humility to aid us overcome this sin and He will guide us for the glory of His Holy name...

God bless
Please pray for my weakness

Unknown

Is judging so bad?

We have to make judgements every single day - whom we trust, whom we do not trust.. who we employ, whom we cannot employ, whom we should be friends with, and those we cannot be their friends.

We have to make judgements for everything.

But under no circumstances should we condemn. I shouldnt say that because you failed your high school exams that you deserve to be poor all your life. That's a condemnation. But I have the right to make a judgement that if you failed your high school exams and were applying for a job, I would have to employ someone who passed them (if in the situation you were both exactly the same personlity types etc).

And I think how I judge others, I will be judged.

Again, going back to the example of you failing your high school. Let's say that I say to myself "well, you know, he may have failed for a reason, but I believe we should see beyond exam results and still employ him" - then I believe I will be judged the same. Christ didnt say judging is wrong. He only said that we will be judged according to how we judged others.

The problems really arise when we condemn people for the judgements we make about them, and that condemnation can take forms of abuse, verbal abuse, physical abuse, hatred, bias, prejudice, back-stabbing... etc.

If I forgot to post an important letter that you asked me to post for you - and I told u "I'm so sorry, i completely forgot" - you can react in the following ways:

a) Say "YOU IDIOT!!, YOU ARE CARELESS AND YOU ARENT BOTHERED ABOUT WHAT OTHERS ASK FROM You"
b) "Its, OK, I can forget also"
c) Not say anything, but never ask me again to do anything because you are convinced that I'm careless.

Options a) and c) are condemning. Because a) and c) I have been punished. However, the problem with a) is that you have committed a sin, and have punished me for my forgetfulness. c), on the other hand, has opened you up to be judged EXACTLY the same way. What if one day you forget something for someone also? Someone will treat you with the same caution and distance that you have treated me.

Option b) realises that there is a reason why you forgot. It refrains from categorising you, but at the same time, it encourages you to discuss the reason why you forgot? This is important - because once you know the reasons why I forgot, you are vindicated. Let's say I tell you "well, I forgot to post the letter, because I have many problems on my mind".

You can then say "OK. I understand. Its not fair of me to ask you at this time because you are overloaded". The result of option b) is magnificent. You end up with the benefits that option c) would have given you, minus being judged yourself in the same in the same way as someone would have been judged had they followed option c).

So, in conclusion, funny enough, it works out that it is best not to judge at all. In order to avoid judging others, one must be therefore the personality of someone who would respond the way that b) responded.
That person would be trusting, patient, kind, understanding, forgiving.

These attitudes make you a great judge: i.e. someone that doesnt judge.

And I stress on the fact that St James DID say that patience is important, because it is this quality that drives the personality of b)

peterfarrington

There is certainly a place for making practical judgements, especially in the case of employment etc. We would not expect someone flying a plane to have a visual impairment, or the person teaching our children an academic subject to have failed all their exams.

I wonder if the difference is that the sort of judgement we are warned against is one in which we make an inward and absolute judgement about someone. Something that is reserved to God because He alone knows the heart. I wonder also if it is always better to err on the side of the person who we wish to judge.

The person who forgot to post the mail. Maybe he had a lot on his mind. What if his mother had just died? We cannot know what is going on in someone else's life, and barely comprehend the movements of our own heart.

I can remember when I was about 18-19 that there was a rather scatty girl who was in the youth group. Actually she was very scatty. But I can remember that we had this same discussion and she insisted that we should not judge others at all. I disagreed then, mostly for practical reasons, but as I have grown older I am more certain that essentially she was right. Even in the worst cases it is impossible for us to see the heart of the other person.

In my previous job there were plenty of people who were a bit out of their depth in their jobs, but I and others tried hard to make sure that we did not judge them, however disastrous some of their actions, but realised that there were reasons for them failing in their jobs - they hadn't been trained properly, they were not being properly managed or motivated etc.

And in Church also there are usually reasons we do not know, and perhaps even the priests do not know, for a person's behaviour. It is always best to excuse the other person, and pray for them. When I was a subdeacon, a while ago, a person came to the liturgy that I had not seen for a while. It had been tempting to think that the person was not committed enough, but in fact the person had to work most weekends and in fact had just finished a night shift and had still come to the Liturgy. They were actually showing more commitment than I probably would have done, and though exhausted, they still wanted to be at the Liturgy when it was at all possible.

I am sure that there is a different word we could use to make the decision that someone is unsuitable for a particular job, so that we do not confuse that with the judgement which God warns us against. But as I grow older I find more and more than when faced with situations where I might want to judge others the best response is always to judge myself as having failed them in some way, not least through not praying enough for them.

Father Peter