I am BiPolar, now what?

Ioannes

i was recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder, i am fairly new to the coptic orthodox faith and was wondering what this meant for me in terms of spirituality. is this disorder purely spiritual? or is this a real psychological disorder. what is the view of the coptic orthodox church on this matter and that of medication? i have been so embarassed i dont want to serve as a deacon let alone take communion.

egyboy

what is there to be embarrassed about? we all have our problems. no one is perfect. think of it as your cross that you must carry through your life. never give up hope and always pray for God's mercy

please pray for me and my weakness

mikeforjesus

bipolar is not a sin.. some bipolar people were the most creative people.. they have many good ideas all running in their head..

Ioannes

thanks for the encouraging words. i think now there is a stigma attatched to mental illness so i was questioning everything that i have thought, said and written. thanks again!

mabsoota

i agree with these comments.
many of us are crazy, the only difference is that we are not all diagnosed yet!

i get really hyperactive at times and start talking about random things that no-one is interested in, like i'm buzzing and can't calm down. i went to see my doctor, but he seems to have a similar problem and couldn't stop talking, we never got as far as a diagnosis! (well, i think i diagnosed him, but that didn't help me!)
in my opinion (i'm not a psychiatrist but have studied a lot of psychiatry at med school and since), all mental illness has physical, spiritual, and emotional aspects. i have a family member with 'proper' diagnosed mental illness, so i think i have a good idea what i am talking about.

i think a lot of it starts with a physical problem that the brain can't process stuff in the normal way, leading to too much or too little emotion or hyperactivity. then people behave in a weird way towards us. (because we look a bit weird). this makes us feel depressed and different, than we start to worry that everyone is talking about us, then we get angry with God, so it affects our spiritual life etc etc. this is just an example so you can see how it all fits together, of course in your case it may be a lot different.

i think the first step is to accept you're a bit weird ( when i finally did this, i became a LOT less stressed about life, and as a result started behaving in a less weird way), and forgive those who have not treated you right. also acknowledge your anger with God (if you are angry with Him) and ask His forgiveness. be realistic and accept your differences, eg if you hear someone talking behind you and you think they are talking about you, say to yourself 'ok, i'm a bit paranoid so probably they are not talking about me. and if they are, may God forgive them. i know He accepts me as i am, so i won't ask them if they are talking about me, because that is not normal behaviour in my culture. i will just smile and ask them if they had a nice day'.

stop questioning your motives. just take everything on face value and don't make things so complicated. eg, if you find 2 or 3 extra pens in your pocket, probably you have stolen them. don't get stressed, just hand them back and apologise. if someone gives you a compliment, it is because you are nice. just smile and say thank you. if you want to serve in church, it is because you love God. if you want to sleep, it is because you are tired. don't blame yourself, when your head is buzzing or you have negative thoughts. just replace them with good thoughts (agpeya, holy Bible etc).

Ask God to guide you as you get treatment. for most people, medication is really very helpful. if you had severe diabetes, you wouldn't try to avoid medication (that would be really crazy!) so just take what your psychiatrist prescribes, and, if possible, take a friend/relative with you when you see the doctor, so they can also speak up on your behalf if you are getting side effects etc.

it's really important to take communion, so confess, fast, and take it. communion is not a reward for our Godliness, it is accepting before God that we are sinners and we are repenting.

as for serving, check with your father of conscience if your service is being affected by this illness (eg if you are dicussing with the young lads how to kill yourself, it might be good to take a break till you are a bit better.) otherwise. as the others have said, we all have problems, and people will look up to you as someone who is dealing with your problems in the right way. they will not be impressed to see someone who has no problems, they will just feel depressed themselves that they are much weaker than you, if they see you as perfect!

we, for example, are honoured that you have shared with us and are very encouraged that you are working hard at your spirituality and your relationship with God.
may God bless you, and pray for my weakness

Unknown

i completely agree with mabsoota =)

+mahraeel+

Ioannes

mabsoota you truely are wise. i think the thing that sadened me most was the fact that i can never become a priest. i am accepting that this is Gods will, and i love being a deacon so its not so bad. i love you all very much and thank you for your wise words. God bless!

mnc_hnn

this is not meant to make you feel embarrased, but of course who am i to say..you are the one suffering and i am in no position to tell you what to do. however, it is a disease, not your fault so you 'shouldn't' be embarrased about having communion or doing your service. i dont know about the treatements but i just looked it up and it says general things like relaxation and counselling and some types of herbs and chinese medicine. i don't see how there could be a problem with any of that. in fact, try all the treatments available to try and help yourslef as much as possible. and good luck

sodr2

srry to interupt, but whats bipolar ? dont have to get into details

coptic youth

Bipolar Disorder - Also known as manic-depressive illness. This is a serious illness that causes shifts in a person’s mood, energy and ability to function. Dramatic mood swings can move from “high” feelings of extreme euphoria or irritability to depression, sometimes with periods of normal moods in between. Manic episodes may include such behaviors as prolonged periods without sleep or uncontrolled shopping. Each episode of mania or depression can last for hours, weeks or several months.

clay

Bipolar is definetely a cross- you can still pray that the Lord take this away from you. He might keep it there as a "thorn of the flesh, a messenger of Satan" to keep you humble, but I don't think you must not petition that he take it away from you- perhaps when your faith becomes firm, that your prayer may bring the miracle. But, any thought that produces despair, is not from God. Any thought that does not produce repentance (that is going to God for mercy, and obeying Him from a contrite heart) is also not from God- or at least we have registered the thought incorrectly. I have been told various times to actually thank God for my weakness- because then I am strong.

You will have some difficulty. I am not sure which type of Bipolar you have. Whatever the case is, try to remain as steady as you can- God has given all of us different talents, and is expecting a different return. Just be faithful, and God who searches the heart will count your faith as righteousness. Without faith we cannot please God. So you can't be a priest- that was God's decision anyway- He wants something different for you- something only you can do- so take heart.

Also, try to be thankful to God for your illness- it is a lesson for all of us, me being first. Let us be thankful for what the Lord has given us, and even our infirmities, just St. Paul- that truly show how we depend on God's infinite compassion- and you will find that Satan can't use this to make your fall or despair.

There are good treatments now. You might be able to have some symptom control with the new mood-stabilisers, such as Lamotrigine, Valproate, carbamazepine, Lithium etc. Rapid cycling is the most difficult to control, but otherwise you can have fair control. Plus, the severity of Bipolar tends to change over the years.

Also what is important is from my view is to:
- make sure people around you know the warning signs
- good sleep patterns
- have others control your finance
etc.

We pray for the efficacy of the drugs, but more importantly your faith. And always wait on God- trust Him. If we trust Him to the end- we will be saved.

Ioannes

thanks so much guys. im taking meds and i feel much better. a bit more tired sometimes but sane enough to do the things i have wanted to and now im finally doing research for a book id like to write. i think its going to be a great book for all orthodox brothers and sisters.

mabsoota

hi ioannes,
i am glad u will write a book.
u write a lot of sound stuff in your posts, so that's cool.
may God bless u lots and pray 4 me 2!
mabsoota
btw, in case u didn't pick up arabic, my name means  :)

jesusmystrength

God bless you Ioannes. Make sure you share your book with us when you're done :)

Ioannes

[quote author=jesusmystrength link=topic=8158.msg106861#msg106861 date=1255577645]
God bless you Ioannes. Make sure you share your book with us when you're done :)


im actually working with Fr. John Paul, its on the beliefs that present a danger to Orthodox Christians like, protestantism, Atheism, Evolution, Liberalism, Ecumenism, etc. i think you all will like it.