Hello,
I saw this clip randomly on youtube while I was browsing funny clips. It featured this lady who was just talking to the webcam; she was crying about how her husband left her just after they married and etc etc..
I realise that she is probably lonely and may be it was her fault whatever happened, happened.
I did not watch the whole clip but I started wondering about how is it possibly that people so willingly let their guards down and fall in love, aften with another person who does not understand the seriousness of how their partner has attached their lives to them.
I'd probably do the same. But I wish there was something to do to stop this happening. These people never live the same again if their relationship collapses.
I would rather have it that love didn't exist than to be susceptable to all this hurt and suffering.
I think those people who do not live by emotions are blessed. Love would make you weak and helpless.
I have come to hate "love" as a process even though I know there is no better feeling and I will continue to need it and be humiliated by the need of it. This hate is due to fear and worrying and real life situations and relationships that broke right before my own eyes.
I began to refuse to believe that love can survive the problems in life.
Comments
Love is not an emotion. It is a choice and direction of the will. God is love. He is not a feeling, but his love is a determined action. When our Lord was being crucified it was not the nails that held him to the tree, but his love for you and me.
It is quite possible to say in one's mind of a close family member, even a partner, 'I do not like you at all at the moment, but I still love you and will do whatever is right and loving'.
The problem with the modern world is that we expect everything to be like a fairy tale, and we seek to live off the emotion we call love - which is not really love at all. At best it is an overflow into emotion of true love. At worst it is a complete fantasy, an infatuation.
Many years ago I was young! Though I still think I am! It takes a lot of disappointments and heartache to learn the right lessons. I am often inspired by the younger voices here who seem to be learning these lessons while it can make a difference. If we have not found our true centre in God, if he is not our heart's desire, then we will place unbearable expectations on the weak and sinful people around us, who are also trying to work out their salvation. This is why so many Western relationships breakdown, even among Western Christians. People expect to find the love and security which is found only in God in the person they choose as a partner, and it all goes pear shaped!
Father Peter
Does this mean that we shouldn't really love someone that much?
It justs seems to me that there is always one partner who loves too much and inevitably gets hurt.
How do relationships work? do couples agree like some sort of a business "i will always like you" deal? because it looks like okay even if you CAN control who to love..you can't control how much you love them. and just because you love someone, it doesn't mean you're guaranteed love back.
I have not seen a couple who said honestly to me that they were in love with each other. may be because it is obviously personal. But well, I know for a fact my parents were not in love with each other when they got married.
and a relative of mine who recently got married made me wonder about all this. they didn't look like it was love. It is like 2 people agree to live together instead of being lonely.
What is the advantage of 'learning a lesson'?
1. you love someone expecting perfection
2. you face life's imperfections and your partner's imperfections
3. you decide it wasn't right to love someone too much like that
4. you never trust anyone so you never love anyone ever again
I think it is just better that you never try to 'love' in the first place...
I'll leave it to someone who knows what they're talking about to answer your question (btw good to see you again, long time no see, how's it going :D)
pray for me
joe