This guy and I met online, in the beginning I really didn’t care and always told myself that none of this is serious, (so I didn’t tell him my real name and age, since we met online and I was trying to be on the safe side) but it seemed to me that he took it seriously (so after a few weeks I told him everything about me lying about my name, and he was fine with it after a while) I was a bit scared in the beginning to like him because he was miles away from me, and I knew one day it would come to an end. But he gave me hopes in lot things and unfortunately I believed him. I trusted him so much and started liking him since he made all these promises to me and made me believe that I am the only one he wants. As we were together, at some point I felt like I had to leave him, but I didn’t want to hurt because I knew and felt how much he loved me. So I gave him a chance and thought maybe he’s different. Everything was fine, but I felt that he was changing with me, and I knew he was rethinking about everything, so one day while we were talking he told me that he was scared and that he has never been in a long distance relationship before (well neither did I). At the end we both decided we should rethink about what we want to do either continue or leave each other. The next day, he told “I thought about everything and all I have to say is I want to be with you.” I believed him and again everything was fine, until last Wednesday. He didn’t text me the whole day, until at night claiming that he was busy and he just got out of work (he gets out at 5 not 9) anyway we were talking fine, then out of nowhere, he tells me “I cant do this, I cant be in a long distance relationship, I know it will hurt more than everything after trusting me so much but I am not the right guy for me anyways I am sorry” I was speechless, couldn’t believe what I was hearing (the guy that told me everything will work out and gave me hopes in everything is telling me this) all I said was its ok. The next day at night we talked since I told him we need to talk about lots of things since he made his final decision. I asked him what happened since I felt that how can someone just change their mind after telling me what he wants and everything was fine, and all he told was “I don’t know I have been thinking a lot about things and right now I don’t think its good idea for me to be in a relationship. Not just with you but period.” He also told me “if we try to continue everything we get worse” (because he feels that it will get worse) at the end we didn’t get anywhere and he had to go, so he told me he will finish this tomorrow (which is today). Now I think he’s confused and doesn’t know what he wants, so he’s ending all this because he doesn’t want to hurt me in the process. And I don’t know what to do, until now I didn’t talk to him (we were suppose to talk in the morning like he told me) I just think that talking to him will get us nowhere since he already decided what he wants to do, and there is nothing I can do. So I either have to continue what I am doing (not talking to him at all until next week (that way he would have thought about everything again) and just tell him “ok if you want to end everything, we will do that”, or talk to him now like what he wants and everything will end today with both of us confused and not sure what we want, or talk to him now and tell him lets give each other another chance.
I need some real advice, I don’t know what to do and I don’t want to take a wrong step.
Thank you for your time
Comments
in my opinion, a healthy relationship between any two humans requires their physical presence. in order for such an online-relationship to work, you'd have to meet him phsyically, deal with him, learn who he is. for example can you tell if this person is stingy or not from texts/phone calls. can you tell if he's rude to people in public? can you tell if he's decent human being in general? [your only image of him is 90% what he portrays to you via conversation]. another point i'd like to make is, and this is completely hypothetical, imagine if he looked different in real life, would you still feel the same about him?
Personally i find that your putting too much effort into such a relationship that is based mainly on the world wide web. What do you expect to achieve in the end, from this relationship? stability... marriage... holy love?
So you gotta aks yourself, is the juice worth the squeeze? personally, i'd just let things be as is because as he said it wasn't going to work out.
Sorry once more if you found my answer a bit harsh, i'd be more than willing to delete it if you want me too.
for every person who claims they found 'love' on line, there are thousands hurt.
i am personally v against this kind of dating, i mean unless yr living in a desert, there are Christian men in your town. also you can travel with work and study etc.
yr screen name says God is love 4 ever, so i recommend you start there.
fill your life with God. study the Bible. go to church. study what a great price our Saviour paid for our salvation. then you can say 'litakun mashi-atak' may your will be done, not mine. then, when you are willing to become a nun, marry a disabled man or whatever glorifies God, He will guide you in this area of your life.
i know we sound a bit harsh, so i want to say we are really sorry to hear about the pain you are feeling, but we wish more people would avoid this pain by being honest about their lives, with God and with their friends. the internet is great, we are using it now, but it's not a good tool for finding long-term relationships, as there is so much temptation to not tell the truth that people fall in love with a plastic character from their imagination. they project what they want to hear and see onto the sketchy outline that you can get from a few telephone calls.
so please delete your account with this site and stick to real people you can meet, and don't be in a hurry to get married, check what God wants from you first.