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Addiction to sin; how do i stop?
I have a an addiction to a certain sin, But i really want to stop, and there are times when i feel that i wont do this ever again but i always come back to it. how do i stop?
Comments
When you fall, rise up again. How many times? As many times as it takes. Every time you fall, confess. Then do your best to fight this sin. Try to find out when you are most susceptible to this sin and try and avoid such situations. If it happens when you are alone and have nothing on your mind, either busy your mind with a book or your studies or work or the Bible or prayer, or seek out company. The key is to find out what you are experiencing before this particular sin strikes. When you find the root of sin, you can cut it off and in such a manner, you will be able to stop this sin.
Perhaps there's something else you do that allows this sin to take over, eg. if you are trying to stop swearing but you are allowing your ears to listen to corrupted music, it becomes 10 times harder and theres only so far you can go.
You can buy a little calender and on every day you do this sin colour the date black, for everyday you didn't do it, highlight the date in your favourite colour. Your aim is to highlight every single day for a whole year! Don't give up. Sometimes having something that continues over a long period of time helps you overcome your daily circumstances [dieters are less likely to blow their diet when they're emotional].
If this is one of those embarassing sins that are really hard to confess, use that for motivation.. Do you really wonna have to confess it aggain?
Most importantly ALWAYS ask God to stand by your side and NEVER LET YOU GO. Sometimes we run away from God, but we can't if he holds us tighter. ASK GOD TO NEVER LET YOU GO, regardless of how hard you try to get away. He is our STRENGTH and POWER! Without Him we are nothing, and we will get nowhere.
Don't expect this to go away in a day, or a month.. It will take a while before you totally overcome it. Habbits are hard to break.
Don't be impatient:
"Time brings Change, and Change takes time." (River God - Nichole Nordeman)
Keep this in the back of your mind and you will be stronger in not falling into temptation because u come to realize that as u commit a sin you are feeling as though you and devil are happy together but when u confess it and try not to sin no more (obviously we cant never sin) you will feel like God is the only one u want to make happy and you will do everything in your power to see to it that the enemy does not rejoice over you.
Hope i helped a bit.
"let the Lord work mysteriously in you while you do ur best to present yourself daily before him"
therefore do ur best in ur fight against this sin using every possible tool u know and the knowledge and wisdom of God and his beloved saints....and then one day in his mercy the Lord will grant u fredom accordinlgy.
God bless.
I do agree with every thing that you all said in reply to bhm_c, but there is just one thing I would like to point out in relation to hizz_chiilld's comment. For all of us to be aware, there is not such sin that you are too embarrassed to confess about. No. Satan will use this as a method of building it up and bringing it over and over again. One of the great benefits of confession is that you get ashamed of the sin, however little it might seem to other, or however big it might look in abouna's eyes. No matter what, you still have to confess about it anyway.
To you bhm_c, I myself tried getting myself busy with things, and it worked. Here is my opinion:
- if you like reading books, go for it, and read Christian books more than you have ever done. Set goals, count the books, and meditate them over, even when you are too tired of reading. The best book of course will be the Bible, if you can memorise for example 5 - 6 verses a day, or a couple of verses a chapter.
- another option is if you like playing gimmicks, play puzzles: crosswords, sudoku ... etc
- another option is memorise Coptic hymns. Choose some of the complicated ones, and start on it. If you don't like Coptic hymns that much, choose a number of shorter ones. If you don't like them at all, listen to Christian songs and carols, and memorise them.
- another option will be to play sports, especially those which require physical activities (if the sin is related to the body in anyway), so your body and mind will be too tired to think about anything else.
AND OF COURSE, besides you have to increase your prayers, and Bible readings (even if you won't memorise too many verses). As one of the members here said: it doesn't matter how many times you fall into sin, what really counts is how many times you repented from your heart.
Please, take this advice: do one of the options above, or a combination of some, and God will help you. Remember: God will not judge you saying "why did you fall into that sin?", rather He will say "why did you not repent?". Remember also, God puts us through these things so that we flourish and grow in your spiritual life. I am sure you can have victory, but only through HIM.
Well, last word, if you have tried all of these or some of the above, please try again more fervently.
God bless you and please mention my name in your prayers.
The easiest way to stop doing the same sin is to replace it with something else, for example ur a really bad smoker and u want to stop, everytime u go to have a smoke try to replace it with chewing gum , so everytime u go to smoke u chew gum instead, u could try occuping urself so u dont have time to do the sin.
P.S hope this helped
let God help u
Tifsehit
he gave me a picture of jesus and every time i sin i have to make a hole in the picture
trust me it helped me and i think it will help you too
because you would feel really bad everytime you make a hole in christ
god bless you and be with you
pray for me
i had promised myself that if i had that sin again, i will not go egypt, to me this would be a greaaaaaat upset, thus prevented me from say the sin of swearing again.
this is a method u may use if the otherones do not help you out.
Have u ever tried to take up a sport as a hobby? Its a good hobby that keeps your mind (and obviously body) occupied.
Don't give a chance for your mind to be idle, especially if u are young and single. Concentrating on a sport is beneficial as any other hobby could be boring for you. There are some that find reading a good hobby, but for me, Sport is quite benficial. I think its really important. They say that a good mind is in a good body also.
If that doesnt help, what about sitting down with yourself and just try and see what the problem is?
Let's say your sin is that u get angry very easily; and u can't help shouting at others whenever something annoys you, then sit down with yourself and pray that God heals you from this.
If its sexually related, then Saint Paul recommends marriage. lol ...
OK.. here's something someone said : If u sin, and are struggling to overcome this sin, this is a great step. There has to be some struggle in your life in fact. Its not easy. Even if its sexually related, its still quite beneficial for the relationship with the girl if u struggle in NOT doing things with her. For example: Let's say u are engaged, and have a fiancé, ok? The devil would not want u to get married. The devil is totally against marriage, so he'll try and make u sin, by thought or by action together. Struggling against these attacks is great for the relationship, especially if u are spiritually more advanced than your fiancé as she'll be quite impressed.
I don't know exactly what your sin is, but my suggestion is that struggling to overcome a sin is very noble and God will bless u for this.
[coptic]+ Pi`<rictoc aftonf>[/coptic]
When you fall, rise up again. How many times? As many times as it takes. Every time you fall, confess. Then do your best to fight this sin. Try to find out when you are most susceptible to this sin and try and avoid such situations. If it happens when you are alone and have nothing on your mind, either busy your mind with a book or your studies or work or the Bible or prayer, or seek out company. The key is to find out what you are experiencing before this particular sin strikes. When you find the root of sin, you can cut it off and in such a manner, you will be able to stop this sin.
i totally agree. And believe me, a sport is another hobby that helps! REading etc is brilliant if you happen to find a good book, but then it takes me ages to find something good to read.
Take up a hobby such as painting, sport etc... keep your mind and body busy at all times (as far as possible). Combatting such sins is an effective way to excel in any hobby. Why not learn a new language? Learn how to paint?
"ora et labora" a latin verse which means "pray and work"
do something that occupies u ( readng the bible, help ur parents, ...) and don't go anywhere u can find the sin there....if u ar not able to say no u must go awy from the place where the sin is...and if it is ur room...pray...don't stop to pray...ask god and he will answer....u have to talk with him first than he will talk back...pray for that u want and he will give u...
i hope i didn't confuse anyone....forgive me if i have
and i appologize for my bad english
god bless u
pray for me
pray for me.
I wish you are fine. I haven't heard from you your opinion about all the members' comments. I think we will all benefit, not only you, if this is a discussion, not just QA's.
God bless you all and mention me in your prayers
Sorry im late lol,, but thats a Nice Way " why ".. i could use that lol.. and have fun in egypt lol
LOL and yes im going to egypt..although i did happen to do that particular sin again..however my method DID drastically reduce the amount of times i sinned..
but please..be true to ur promise (i know im a hypocrite)
Abba Macarius was asked, 'How should one pray?'
The old man said, 'There is no need at all to make long
discourses; it is enough to stretch out one's hands and say,
"Lord, as you will, and as you know, have mercy." And if the
conflict grows fiercer say, "Lord, help!" He knows very well
what we need and he shows us his mercy.'
Or listen to Abba Arsenius:
While still living in the palace, Abba Arsenius prayed
to God in these words, 'Lord, lead me in the way of
salvation.' And a voice came saying to him, 'Arsenius, flee
from men and you will be saved.'
Having withdrawn to the solitary life he made the
same prayer again and he heard a voice saying to him,
'Arsenius, flee, be silent, pray always, for these are the
source of sinlessness.'
See pray always, aso flee, you don't flee from men but flee from evil when you feel that you are about to do the sin flee from where you are and go in a room or in a place by yourself and pray with tears. For tears wash.Pray for my weakness.
God Bless You
pray for me...
god bless u
How does God forgive someone who consistently does the same sin again and again, and who tells Him EACH time he/she is sorry for that sin THAT they've just repented again and again.
I think the best way forward is to tell God a plan of action. Say this: God , i feel so ashamed doing this sin, and I need your Grace to help me from not sinning, but im so weak that im need of this (mention the sin) and the plan is that im looking at solving it by a) getting treatment from a doctor (eg; getting quitting smoking, alcohol etc or gambling, b) getting married, (eg for sexually related sins).
Im mean, seeking help or finding a way so that your action/sin is NO longer a sin is great. If u have for example lustful desires for a woman, and one day she becomes your wife, well - surely the day she is your wife, the desires you have are now blessed for her. Whilst she is not your wife, its adulatary. So, I think God should see you struggling and living in humility UNTIL you get married or find a permanent solution to this problem or sin because if a sin DOES continue, regardless of what it is, then it is EXTREMELY detrimental to your overall well being. Even saint paul says that its best to get married than to BURN IN DESIRE / PASSION. So, sure, u can have cold showers and pray all you like to overcome sexual desire, but Saint Paul is suggesting u get married.
Now, this is what i think; I COULD be WRONG; but i've heard this from priests, who have said to people OPENLY to get married if they are suffering from burning passion etc. Just get married. And they said this with a touch of humour as if, "we've all been there!!"
Now, I could be wrong; and i'm saying this because there is the school of thought that what u've done is SOO wrong that u cannot say you've confessed it if u do it again and again!!! The fact that you use the words "ADDICTED" to sin is overwhelming. It means that when u confessed this sin, you realised that there was a chance of doing it again. But if you said to abouna "father, this is 10000th time ive confessed this, i think i must be addicted to this" then should he give u the absolution????
its like smoking. If u start with 100 cigarettes a day, and u try and stop, if u find yourself smoking 30 , its still bad, its still addition; but there is a struggle that is far more important. There is a fight in you that makes u determined to find a permanent solution to this, and that is a good thing.
( i heard the story like 1-2 years ago, so i cant really remember like the EXACT events, sorry )
How can you do something you hate? How can you say that i hate the sin, yet I still do it? It means, either you don't really hate it, or you must need it?
How does God forgive someone who consistently does the same sin again and again, and who tells Him EACH time he/she is sorry for that sin THAT they've just repented again and again.
I think the best way forward is to tell God a plan of action. Say this: God , i feel so ashamed doing this sin, and I need your Grace to help me from not sinning, but im so weak that im need of this (mention the sin) and the plan is that im looking at solving it by a) getting treatment from a doctor (eg; getting quitting smoking, alcohol etc or gambling, b) getting married, (eg for sexually related sins).
Im mean, seeking help or finding a way so that your action/sin is NO longer a sin is great. If u have for example lustful desires for a woman, and one day she becomes your wife, well - surely the day she is your wife, the desires you have are now blessed for her. Whilst she is not your wife, its adulatary. So, I think God should see you struggling and living in humility UNTIL you get married or find a permanent solution to this problem or sin because if a sin DOES continue, regardless of what it is, then it is EXTREMELY detrimental to your overall well being. Even saint paul says that its best to get married than to BURN IN DESIRE / PASSION. So, sure, u can have cold showers and pray all you like to overcome sexual desire, but Saint Paul is suggesting u get married.
Now, this is what i think; I COULD be WRONG; but i've heard this from priests, who have said to people OPENLY to get married if they are suffering from burning passion etc. Just get married. And they said this with a touch of humour as if, "we've all been there!!"
vassilos, what if you are too young to get married? but still burn in desires?? And the only way you can satisfy your desire is by doing that sin.
I guess the answer is we have just stop doing it and wait until we get married. Everytime we think about it, we should do something else instead.
Pray for me.
Marriage is a solution, but not the solution. If one cannot control his lusts before marriage, then it is likely to cause problems.
We are made in the image of God, that image is marred by the effects of sin; the Christian life in a process of realising that image by effacing the effects of sin. So, God is love, and we have within ourselves a burning passion to know Him and to be one with Him. But Satan knows how to pervert that passion by working on our weakened natures. In the case of men it can be very easy for him. As our hormones kick in we do, indeed, begin to feel a desire of the flesh; for some it is overwhelming. The society in which many of us live is not exactly helpful, bombarding us as it does with images of women which are designed to inflame our passions and persuade us to part with money for cars, deodorants or whatever it is that a scantily-clad woman is being used to sell. The problem is that our passions can remain inflamed.
Now to say that we can get married an slake our lusts that way is, I fear, wrong. Women are not objects upon which men can visit their passions, they are also God's children, so learning to control lustful tendencies outside marriage is a useful preparation for a healthy marriage; few women appreciate being the object of their husband's lust. Sexual practice within marriage should be part of a loving and caring relationship - not the way a man slakes his lust.
The real answer is that we cannot, by ourselves, succeed; we need His help and the help of the Church. If we think we can do it alone, we are wrong in every sense. We are not brute beasts, we can, with prayer, fasting and effort - and help - channel and control lustful thoughts - indeed, we must. It is a modern fallacy that we 'cannot help it'; of course we can - and it is sin and pride that makes us say otherwise. Are we so feeble and useless that we cannot find another outlet for that energy? If so, then what happens once you are married and you find another woman attractive? Can you just 'not help' committing adultery? That way lies a terrible fate.
Unchecked lust can destroy a man, just as any other sinful passion can. You have to stop thinking you are a victim of something and realise that in Christ you are a victor over it. If the passion burns fiercely, this is a sign that this is your great sin and your great chance to triumph over it. Do you stumble and fall? Well you do, because you are human. What matters is getting up again and calling on Him and His Church for help. But you have to want that help, and you have to help Him to help you. For young men these things can be difficult - accept it as the cross you bear for Him who died that you might have life abundant.
If you do, and if you can control your desires, you will be a better man - and a husband any woman would be proud of - is that not what many of us want?
In Christ,
John
God bless you.
i know its REALLY HARD but just pray and tell God to help you stop and eventually you will
[coptic] God Bless You[/coptic]
pp4m
EgY