We don't "plan" to love other people....it's our love to God that is mirrored to our love to people....the more we truly love God and stick to Him....the more we'll love people....think of light and a mirror which reflects this light...the more the mirror is clean, the more we'll see the light....
This concept applies even more to marriage...MUCH more....that's why we should concentrate on our LORD and not even think about this issue until the time comes....
I.E: (and I'm specifically talking to the ladies) do NOT try to get to know someone specifically for the sake of marriage (i.e.: a potential candidate whom you get to know just for mariage)....
Let God work in HIS good time....
Marianne...God isn't unfair to tell us to keep boy-girl relationships a bit distant, and at the same time not put anyone in a guy's path to Him except a girl...or vice-versa! Think about it....
I don't think that ONLY applies...our God is a loving and caring father, and he knows what is best for us in the best way possible...but we should pray that we understand HIS paths for us.
you and I basically said the same thing...I am not saying we plan to love other people....but feelings, love, etc... for other people comes naturally...aka....comes from God....and it's the same for marriage...but what I am saying is that...You have a choice whether you wanna start dating (meet and talk to that person)...or you just waiting for God to plan it at a certain time...I myself think you should do...go and meet people...and that doesn't contradict with God's plan at all...it goes with the saying "es3a ya 3abd wie ana as3a m3aak"...I don't knw if that's an egy proverb or something from the bible....but you gotta do something not just sit and wait...which is the whole idea of dating....meeting people and if it's from God...then it will go on..if it's not...then it won't oh ya...before everyone gets all against me....I am talking when the age is appropriate to do so
marianne and rfz you both have good points i think there is a merge a mid point between what you too are saying which is you do go out meet new people and all that BUT at the same time you pray about it and say if thats the right person than let it go through if not then dont let it go through and believe it or not it works quite often. I know sounds kinda funny but it works
what if there is someone of the other gender that brings you closer to God? they strengthen your relationship with God? so you just leave them because they're not a girl/boy.... of course not...
another thing.. why should it be 'wrong' to have feeling for someone who is so great and brings u closer to God?? why cant we just accept da fact that this person might be the one that God has planned for u?!?! thats also possible dont u think? yes we shouldnt date with out our parents knowning and stuff i agree but u might have met that special person but u just need to be patient and wait till ur allowed or ready...
People....what age are you talking about? C.A.P, I'm specifically asking you....what is the age range you're talking about....
Man...I don't know ur age...but if it's what I think it is, man...u're not even in college YET!!! How can you possibly think about marriage....you're at least 6 years off! Free yourself from this...meet people in a normal way.....very normal and in groups....concentrate your life on your Lord....if He uses a girl to bring you closer to him, then use her as a stepping stone to Him...if she is truly the one and truly your partner....she'll accept that because neither you nor her should allow yourselves to the temptations of Satan...
Christ4Life....do you honestly think Satan would go up to someone who's strong in his/her life with God and tell him, "go commit so-and-so?" of course not....he'll bring it to him/her in a religious coating.....
Might sound strange....bas listen me out...Satan works in a very long time frame...he's very patient....VERY...that's why I'm saying it's not needed to put yourselves into this mess...the end might be much worse than the beginning....MUCH...and it happens a whole lot...:(
The big picture is lost in our lives when we confine ourselves with one person....marriage is not about confining yourselves to one person even...when the times comes...we'll understand....
if He uses a girl to bring you closer to him, then use her as a stepping stone to Him...
hey... im a gurl btw haha and im 17.. and i reallllyyyyy like what u said (what i quoted) i will take that to heart n thanx for that GREAT advice.. for about 8 months now i didnt know what to make of the situation but what u said made it all make sense to me.. thanx alot
ok.. this is somethin dat my FOC told me.. i think it might help afew of us here understand that guys and gurls think differently.. he said "boys are more physical.. all they want to do at this teen age is get physical.. but gurls want to take their time and are more emotional.. they have more of feelings then urges like guys do" so hearing him saying that it helps me understand abit of how a man works.. but at the same time he said "a gurl can make a man fall into lust very esily because of the way she dresses and the way she moves" which is very true.. us gurls dont understand how a man thinks but the older u get the more ull learn.. so no matter if u like this boy cuz he brings u closer to God, he might be thinking a little more on the lust side when he tinks of u.. so just becareful.. but marmar i agree wit u cuz ur at the age where alot is happening.. i went through that too but i was a lil older and everything for me happened in 1 year.. last year.. when i was 16.. itsall ur hormons.. just hang in there.. its a very tough stage and just because ur younger then us.. it doesnt mean u cant give us advice.. u have an innocent and pure way of thinking then us older and more 'corrupted' ppl do.. and i say corruped cuz we know more.. so to hear such pure and innocent advice kind of gives us hope and makes us want to be that sure and innocent once again.. so dont ever think ur too young or anything ok?? :)
By the way...whoever says he/she is above advice is in DEEP danger....
btw: Saint Makarios used to take his advice from an 11 year old boy called Zakaria...:) u're much older than that....
MarMar....I was 15...and it was HELL....u know why? I had no tasbeha.org, no churches....no FOC...no nothing (in Saudi Arabia for the first 14 years of my life)....
Was it funny? NOOOO.... >:( It was really bad...but I remember these days to learn always....
anyways... :-[ plz explain what I said that was kind and that had "no" for an answer or something....
Miss C.A.P. (;D) sorry for the gender change...and your last post is very true....VERY....MarMar...read it again...
MarMar....God uses small and bg for us to learn...and I just learnt a lot from your post....really....God bless you.
People People People...Dating doesn't mean lust...why is everyone thinking it does mean you are gonna do something or u gonna fall into sin....of course the argument of "why put yourself into temptation" is going to start, but come on now...not every relationship is going to lead to lust.
Christ4Life....do you honestly think Satan would go up to someone who's strong in his/her life with God and tell him, "go commit so-and-so?" of course not....he'll bring it to him/her in a religious coating.....
Ya...why are u ignoring the possiblity that that could happen, that this is someone who God can put them in ur life to get u closer to Him...and having a relationship doesn't mean u are gonna do so and so...if u are close to God...you will know the right thing to do at the right time...
marmar.. thinking back of when i was 15.. i have no complaints because i was very happy at 15.. but once i hit 16, thats when everything went down hill.. it went through alot that year.. but one think ill always remember is "if God brings u to it, He will bring u through it" trust me.. i got to a very very very low point of my life.. life didnt mean anything to me at that point.. but i always went to my FOC and he helped my through my hellish year!...i hope u never go through what i had to go through.. something i really learned was that nut everything bad always turns out bad! like my 16th year changed me alot.. i def. got closer to God and it did feel like he wasnt their but it still brought be closer to him and i discovered talents i didnt think i had in me.. now i write poerty and i play the guitar.. i used to by very shy n quite.. but i wanted to try new things so i gave playing the guitar a shot n im so glad i did.. i luv it! also i met soooo many new people!!!! ALOT.. made so many close close friends! again.. EVERYTHING HAPPENDS FOR A REASON.. i know why God but me through that very bad year.. it was so i can come RUNNING to him!!!
ill leave u with a poem that i wrote and i concludes everything that i learned from my horrible 16th year....
Life’s Lessons
Life can be so harsh sometimes, But if you look deep inside its brutal eyes, You will see it’s meaning, And its teachings…
It might make you sad, It might make you cry, It might tare you open, And it might ache like no tomorrow…
But it does everything for a reason, It makes you stringer, It builds your personality, It opens you small childish eyes…
You might have had a bad break up, Nut from that, Now you know what qualities to watch out for, And you know how you can deal with the next…
Maybe you’re feeling alone and depressed, You blame God for not being there, Yet you pray asking for some comfort, He uses the situation to bring you closer to him…
Everything that happens in life has a reason, A reason to make you stronger, A reason to bring you running to God, A reason to build you up…
You may think you’re alone, But look around you, You’re surrounded by lonely people, Doesn’t make you alone anymore…
When your life is flashing before you, And you start to realize, When times were tough, Their was only one footprint in the sand…
You ask God, “Why did you leave me to walk on my own?” Things could have been worse, But he was carrying you…
Be thankful through the good and the bad, Because God is there through both, Either beside you or carrying you, He will never leave his beloved child…
Do you truly truly think that alone...you are above Satan's trickery....? You MUST be kidding me!
Dear..plz plz understand this...in the beginning, everything is dandy and pink...but you don't know the boy you say are close to...boys that age are lustful or are being tempted with lustfullness...I know what I'm saying....why then give a chance for that to happen....however slim? In the end, what's at stake is your abadiya, you eternity!
"Not every relationship leads to lust." Sorry Marianne...almost always it does...even if both partners are SAINTS....I'm serious...except in one case....that of both partners, in a GROUP, start to generally know each other, while at the same time trying to reach out for HIM....they don't know each other soley for the sake of marriage...ok?
When the time comes...God will lead them to each other....simple.
Marianne87...plz concentrate more on your life with God...finish up college...and let God work in good time....it may happen that a boy comes to God through a girl or vice-versa...but INITIALLY only...do NOT let Satan trick you into thinking "because I'm a son of God, I'll be fine..." the Bible teaches us to "run for your lives." from temptations
MarMar91: You'd better not think about it....it's just horrible...
Marianne87: Heya...cool off Marianne :D No anger intended from my side! You know that none of us are above that, and thus although I am a son/daughter of God, I am not above satan's trickery...so why give myself the chance? I'm just saying don't depend on yourself....I'm not saying don't mingle with Boys...by all means mingle with everybody in a normal way...and wait and pray and see....
MarMar91: Ya finish up high school first obviously! Leave it in its good time....your eternity is always far more important
lol...i am clam.. i am just saying no matter how many threads we have about that topic and how many people have different views about it....people still do whatever they want...so there is no point in trying to argue something that people won't really benefit from it that much...since they do what they think is right..sorry if i sounded angry :)
ok.. i think the ONLY salution to this topic is to TRUST GOD AND BE VERY PATIENT!!! and forsure prayer too.. but just trust Gos.. he knows what he's doing and everything happends for a reason!... thats all dat can actually be said because everyone's situations are very different...
what i think he means is..no ONE is above satans trickery. Meaning no one individual alone can overcome the devil and his temptations. It is through the strength we receive from God and the holy spirit that enables us to resist sin.
exactly... but if you feel the same way towards a guy you do a girl n vice versa, i seriously dont see the problem... i can't assume every guy im going to meet is satan in disguise, because THAT is definitely wrong...
when u like someone.. u dont choose to like them.. it just happends.. in order for it not to happen then both sexs should never see each other.. dontcha think??? like come on.. we all have our chrushes and WE LEARN FROM EVEYTHING.. right??? u cant tell someone not to think about it cuz their too young.. its not a salution and it doesnt help! we wanna be helpful here dont we? do y dont we just guide each other through an issue like this rather then say "no ur too young bla bla bla" for da older ppl.. try to think back from when u were 14 15 whatever the age is.. i remember when i was 15 boys were never something i worried about.. i like boys yes.. but nothing to worry about.. but i can see what marmar is going through or saying... and i totally agree with alot that she is saying.. like i understand those feelings.. ppl try to be like open minded plz.. so we can help each other out..
thanks C.A.P...open mindeness is the answer...since all egys are close minded about the issue of dating...people WON'T LISTEN...You can't say to someone who is in love u are not allowed to see/talk/meet to the other person u are in love with...that just not gonna happen and YOUNG PEOPLE won't listen...if we really want to be role models and try to bring people closer to God...then we should listen to them not judge and order them...we should tell them our experiences and even if we don't have experiences...we should try to understand their point of view and where they are coming from.
I do not judge anybody...nor is anyone saying that too....
OH...about close-mindedness....people in EGYPT, your home country, ae generally not close-minded when it comes to this....but of course, I repeat GENERALLY....thanks :( ("where they are coming from"...hmmhmm....)
C.A.P: Your post is a beauiful one...you're right C.A.P...if what you thought I said was true, then let's all stay at home and cower in our beds!
No What I said was meet everybody normally, extremely normally, but KEEP your distance from the boys...not in a way that makes you not sociable....but in a way that keeps you focused on your eternity....
Christ4Life: I don't get how you feel the same way towards a guy like with a girl....take it from someone oler...this isn't possible, simply because boys and girls in the teen years think completly differently..completly...boys are either lustful or fought with it...girls are more into romantisicm....how can they be alike?
People.....like the church taught us...mix with everybody, but selectively choose your close people so as not to lose your eternity....
Marianne87: Be VERY careful of what u're saying....ok? You said that you can't just tell someone who's in love you can't see/meet the person....YES YOU CAN, if it's inhis/her eternal interest....love isn't all about feelings....there has to be a brain into it....if it doesn't work out, the brain has to step in.....
IN your teen years....95% (at least) of relationships don't work out....why risk it when your eternity's at stake.
In HIS Name,
RFZ
(P.S.: Marianne, I advise you to read the posts here that talk about the psychologies of boys and girls in the teen years)
To decide it is possible to have a friend from the opposite sex you should ask your self the following: Why this person and what is difference between him and the others? And are you ready to make other friendship with somebody else in same level. Shall you to take his advice in all of your personal feelings and others? Are you ready to accept any thing or act from him in the name of friendship? Is this person shall support you in your relation with Jesus Christ or not?
Please answer this faithfully and you shall reach the result
I do not judge anybody...nor is anyone saying that too....
I didn't refer that to you rf_zachari...but I am sorry for saying that...
OH...about close-mindedness....people in EGYPT, your home country, ae generally not close-minded when it comes to this....but of course, I repeat GENERALLY....thanks ("where they are coming from"...hmmhmm....)
I wasn't saying that about you either...but still I am sorry if you took it that way. I didn't say people in EGYPT...i said egyptians...including MYSELF...I am 100% egyptian and I would never trade that for anything...so I am not saying that I hate the way they think...I am just saying in general...our parents in general just don't like the idea of dating because they think it's lust.
Marianne87: Be VERY careful of what u're saying....ok? You said that you can't just tell someone who's in love you can't see/meet the person....YES YOU CAN, if it's inhis/her eternal interest....love isn't all about feelings....there has to be a brain into it....if it doesn't work out, the brain has to step in.....
U can yeah...but few will listen...but ok whatever u say..I am sure u have experienced more teen issues than myself...so again I am sorry for that.
rf_zachari....forgive me and my ignorance...and God Bless you :)
I am sure u have experienced more teen issues than myself...so again I am sorry for that.
rf_zachari....forgive me and my ignorance...and God Bless you
Oh come on Marianne....I'm not ur father here! ;D
Anyways....God bless you too through these turbulent years....
(ummm... :-[ I don't ask my words to be infallible....of course not...that's ridicoulous....but I guess I've been through all this...so I KINDA, but not really yet,know what I'm saying.)
If your friend and yourself are "only friends" then make sure that your discussions are done in a group with other members present as well.
*Now if you feel the often need to talk to that friend privatley, outside the group then you're probably not "just friends".
The constant need for a "specific" time with a member of the opposite sex is a hint that you're leading into a "specific" relationship with that individual.
ya that is a great point, i will still maintain though that it is Common and healthy to have friends who are of the opposite sex. given, temptation will arise in most cases but when you work those out with ur heavenly father, it will be FINE lol
Comments
We don't "plan" to love other people....it's our love to God that is mirrored to our love to people....the more we truly love God and stick to Him....the more we'll love people....think of light and a mirror which reflects this light...the more the mirror is clean, the more we'll see the light....
This concept applies even more to marriage...MUCH more....that's why we should concentrate on our LORD and not even think about this issue until the time comes....
I.E: (and I'm specifically talking to the ladies) do NOT try to get to know someone specifically for the sake of marriage (i.e.: a potential candidate whom you get to know just for mariage)....
Let God work in HIS good time....
Marianne...God isn't unfair to tell us to keep boy-girl relationships a bit distant, and at the same time not put anyone in a guy's path to Him except a girl...or vice-versa! Think about it....
I don't think that ONLY applies...our God is a loving and caring father, and he knows what is best for us in the best way possible...but we should pray that we understand HIS paths for us.
In HIS Name,
RFZ
oh ya...before everyone gets all against me....I am talking when the age is appropriate to do so
what if there is someone of the other gender that brings you closer to God? they strengthen your relationship with God? so you just leave them because they're not a girl/boy.... of course not...
C.A.P.
C.A.P.
Man...I don't know ur age...but if it's what I think it is, man...u're not even in college YET!!! How can you possibly think about marriage....you're at least 6 years off! Free yourself from this...meet people in a normal way.....very normal and in groups....concentrate your life on your Lord....if He uses a girl to bring you closer to him, then use her as a stepping stone to Him...if she is truly the one and truly your partner....she'll accept that because neither you nor her should allow yourselves to the temptations of Satan...
Christ4Life....do you honestly think Satan would go up to someone who's strong in his/her life with God and tell him, "go commit so-and-so?" of course not....he'll bring it to him/her in a religious coating.....
Might sound strange....bas listen me out...Satan works in a very long time frame...he's very patient....VERY...that's why I'm saying it's not needed to put yourselves into this mess...the end might be much worse than the beginning....MUCH...and it happens a whole lot...:(
The big picture is lost in our lives when we confine ourselves with one person....marriage is not about confining yourselves to one person even...when the times comes...we'll understand....
Pray that we go to HIM in the end.....
In HIS Name,
RFZ
C.A.P.
C.A.P.
By the way...whoever says he/she is above advice is in DEEP danger....
btw: Saint Makarios used to take his advice from an 11 year old boy called Zakaria...:) u're much older than that....
MarMar....I was 15...and it was HELL....u know why? I had no tasbeha.org, no churches....no FOC...no nothing (in Saudi Arabia for the first 14 years of my life)....
Was it funny? NOOOO.... >:( It was really bad...but I remember these days to learn always....
anyways... :-[ plz explain what I said that was kind and that had "no" for an answer or something....
Miss C.A.P. (;D) sorry for the gender change...and your last post is very true....VERY....MarMar...read it again...
MarMar....God uses small and bg for us to learn...and I just learnt a lot from your post....really....God bless you.
In HIS Name,
RFZ
ill leave u with a poem that i wrote and i concludes everything that i learned from my horrible 16th year....
Life’s Lessons
Life can be so harsh sometimes,
But if you look deep inside its brutal eyes,
You will see it’s meaning,
And its teachings…
It might make you sad,
It might make you cry,
It might tare you open,
And it might ache like no tomorrow…
But it does everything for a reason,
It makes you stringer,
It builds your personality,
It opens you small childish eyes…
You might have had a bad break up,
Nut from that,
Now you know what qualities to watch out for,
And you know how you can deal with the next…
Maybe you’re feeling alone and depressed,
You blame God for not being there,
Yet you pray asking for some comfort,
He uses the situation to bring you closer to him…
Everything that happens in life has a reason,
A reason to make you stronger,
A reason to bring you running to God,
A reason to build you up…
You may think you’re alone,
But look around you,
You’re surrounded by lonely people,
Doesn’t make you alone anymore…
When your life is flashing before you,
And you start to realize,
When times were tough,
Their was only one footprint in the sand…
You ask God,
“Why did you leave me to walk on my own?”
Things could have been worse,
But he was carrying you…
Be thankful through the good and the bad,
Because God is there through both,
Either beside you or carrying you,
He will never leave his beloved child…
C.A.P.
Do you truly truly think that alone...you are above Satan's trickery....? You MUST be kidding me!
Dear..plz plz understand this...in the beginning, everything is dandy and pink...but you don't know the boy you say are close to...boys that age are lustful or are being tempted with lustfullness...I know what I'm saying....why then give a chance for that to happen....however slim? In the end, what's at stake is your abadiya, you eternity!
"Not every relationship leads to lust." Sorry Marianne...almost always it does...even if both partners are SAINTS....I'm serious...except in one case....that of both partners, in a GROUP, start to generally know each other, while at the same time trying to reach out for HIM....they don't know each other soley for the sake of marriage...ok?
When the time comes...God will lead them to each other....simple.
Marianne87...plz concentrate more on your life with God...finish up college...and let God work in good time....it may happen that a boy comes to God through a girl or vice-versa...but INITIALLY only...do NOT let Satan trick you into thinking "because I'm a son of God, I'll be fine..." the Bible teaches us to "run for your lives." from temptations
In HIS Name,
RFZ
but i won't argue my point because there is no use for it...whatever u think is right...go do it..
God Bless
Marianne87: Heya...cool off Marianne :D No anger intended from my side! You know that none of us are above that, and thus although I am a son/daughter of God, I am not above satan's trickery...so why give myself the chance? I'm just saying don't depend on yourself....I'm not saying don't mingle with Boys...by all means mingle with everybody in a normal way...and wait and pray and see....
MarMar91: Ya finish up high school first obviously! Leave it in its good time....your eternity is always far more important
In HIS Name,
RFZ
i am just saying no matter how many threads we have about that topic and how many people have different views about it....people still do whatever they want...so there is no point in trying to argue something that people won't really benefit from it that much...since they do what they think is right..sorry if i sounded angry :)
C.A.P.
C.A.P.
C.A.P.
I do not judge anybody...nor is anyone saying that too....
OH...about close-mindedness....people in EGYPT, your home country, ae generally not close-minded when it comes to this....but of course, I repeat GENERALLY....thanks :( ("where they are coming from"...hmmhmm....)
C.A.P: Your post is a beauiful one...you're right C.A.P...if what you thought I said was true, then let's all stay at home and cower in our beds!
No What I said was meet everybody normally, extremely normally, but KEEP your distance from the boys...not in a way that makes you not sociable....but in a way that keeps you focused on your eternity....
Christ4Life: I don't get how you feel the same way towards a guy like with a girl....take it from someone oler...this isn't possible, simply because boys and girls in the teen years think completly differently..completly...boys are either lustful or fought with it...girls are more into romantisicm....how can they be alike?
People.....like the church taught us...mix with everybody, but selectively choose your close people so as not to lose your eternity....
Marianne87: Be VERY careful of what u're saying....ok? You said that you can't just tell someone who's in love you can't see/meet the person....YES YOU CAN, if it's inhis/her eternal interest....love isn't all about feelings....there has to be a brain into it....if it doesn't work out, the brain has to step in.....
IN your teen years....95% (at least) of relationships don't work out....why risk it when your eternity's at stake.
In HIS Name,
RFZ
(P.S.: Marianne, I advise you to read the posts here that talk about the psychologies of boys and girls in the teen years)
To decide it is possible to have a friend from the opposite sex you should ask your self the following:
Why this person and what is difference between him and the others? And are you ready to make other friendship with somebody else in same level.
Shall you to take his advice in all of your personal feelings and others?
Are you ready to accept any thing or act from him in the name of friendship?
Is this person shall support you in your relation with Jesus Christ or not?
Please answer this faithfully and you shall reach the result
rf_zachari....forgive me and my ignorance...and God Bless you :)
Anyways....God bless you too through these turbulent years....
(ummm... :-[ I don't ask my words to be infallible....of course not...that's ridicoulous....but I guess I've been through all this...so I KINDA, but not really yet,know what I'm saying.)
In HIS Name,
RFZ
Talk to your friend in a group
If your friend and yourself are "only friends" then make sure that your discussions are done in a group with other members present as well.
*Now if you feel the often need to talk to that friend privatley, outside the group then you're probably not "just friends".
The constant need for a "specific" time with a member of the opposite sex is a hint that you're leading into a "specific" relationship with that individual.
I hope this helps. God Bless